Fifty Shades of the Darkest
by 14alouis
Summary: Ana's life is currently on the up and up. She is in a loving relationship with her BF of 6 years and she is now interviewing for an internship at GEH that can change her life. What happens when true colors are revealed, truths are discovered and relationships are being put to the test? Can Ana make it through the darkest. *first books of Darkest Before the Dawn*
1. Chapter 1: Great Opportunities

***I do not own the characters. All characters belong to E.L James***

**Hello all, this is my first Fanfic and too be honest I am scared shitless. I read a lot of them and have come up with some interesting ideas as far as this story is concerned. I am thinking that I may split this into three parts (Fifty Shades of the Darkest, Fifty Shades Before, and Fifty Shades of the Dawn). I ask that you leave honest (but not hurtful) reviews and feel free to give me more ideas. I am really excited to try this out and see where this goes. I think I am going to try and upload like the first 5-10 chapters, maybe and after I have given you that I am going to move to the probably one or twice a week update. I am probably going to rate this story as M because there are going to be a couple of rough themes, the language and lets be real Fifty Shades has always involved sex so I think M will be fitting. Thanks soooo much !**

Fifty Shades of the Darkest: Chapter One

I can't believe the day is finally here. Today is the day that I can possibly receive the opportunity of a lifetime and make my dreams come true. Since I was younger I have always had a passion for reading and the way that through words you can create a whole new world through your own imagination. So today is the day that I have my interview with Christian Grey from Grey Enterprises and Holdings. I have been worried about where I would be after I finished college but here I am a month away from graduation taking the steps towards the beginning of my actual adult life. It feels like after all of my hard work everything is calling into place. Logan and I are finally on the same page after 5 years of being in a relationship. He was able to land his internship for med school, we have discussed taking the next step in our relationship and where we would both like to see ourselves in the future; even though that's something we still need to work through; we are finally moving on to bigger and better stages. I was beyond excited when I received the email from my advisor the Grey Enterprises and Holdings is looking to grant six lucky graduating seniors in college the ability to change their lives. The email said

_"Grey Enterprises and Holdings is willing to give the opportunity of a lifetime to 6 lucky graduating seniors in college. Successful CEO and entrepreneur Christian Grey is looking for new areas to invest in and develop into new companies and branches to add to the many businesses ran by . Individuals who are interested in seeking this opportunity are to apply for the 6 month long, paid internship at Grey Enterprising and Holds and must have be willing to commit up to 15 hours a week, have a flexible schedule, construct a possible business plan for the area of your choosing, and be willing to appear for many interviews by or his Team members"._

The day I got that email I knew that everything could change so here I am fresh out of the shower throwing on my black pencil skirt, black leather booties, and a blue blouse; but of course on the day that could possibly define my future my hair refuses to cooperate so I have to settle for throwing my chestnut mane into a somewhat organized pony tail. On my way of my apartment I try and find Logan before I go off for my big interview. Walking by the den I see him there at the desk that we share going over different medical procedures before attending another day at the hospital.

"Hey babe, I'm about to go. I just wanted to say goodbye to you before I left. I thought you said that you were going to go with me and drop me off but when I saw your scrubs still sitting on the chair I assumed you weren't coming" I said as I'm walking over to where he is sitting down

"Ohhh yeah, I'm sorry Ana I've just been so busy reviewing that I forgot that I was even supposed to be taking you to the interview today. But Good luck" he says as he finally gives me a kiss on the cheek.

"Hopefully I will see you later in time for dinner so that I can make it up to you" he says after he gives me a kiss on the check and continues studying

All I can think is that he would not have to make anything up to me if he would have stuck to his word in the first place. But I know that after all that we have been through that we have to pick and choose our battles; and this was not one that was actually worth the fight. Once I cut my losses, I exited the den and headed straight towards to parking garage to hop into Wanda; my old beat up but very reliable beetle and make my way towards GEH. After I finally left the apartment I went downstairs and started up Wanda and it the road.

The drive to GEH wasn't bad at all. It only took me about 24 minutes to get there from the house. Before I make my way into the building I run my hands down my skirt attempting to smooth out my outfit, and run my hands over my ponytail one more time to see if there is any possibility that I can make it more manageable; but of course I still get the same result.

Walking to GEH I am met while a very sterile l white and black with accents of silver in the lining of the furniture and the wording on the ways that say "Greys Enterprises and Holdings" in very large letters. In the center of the room is a much put together and sophisticated blond wearing her hair in a perfectly gelled back bun, a fitted grey skirt suit and way too much makeup. As I walk towards the desk she says "Hello how may I help you"

"Ummm hi my name is Anastasia Steele and I am here for an interview with "

"Do you have an actual appointment or are you coming to schedule one?"

"My appointment is for 10 am sharp"

The golden haired beauty then brings the phone to her ears, and then starts to give my name and appointment time to the person on the phone and after a few more seconds she nods her head and says "Great, please go towards the elevator to your left and go up to the 20th floor. When you get up there Andrea will give you further instructions"

I nod at her and ten proceed to make my way towards the elevator that she just directed me to. I enter and press 20 and the elevator smoothly starts to defend upward. Holy shit my future can change within the next hour of meeting this man. I hope I don't screw up.


	2. Chapter 2: He Will See You

***I do not own the characters. All characters belong to E.L James***

**Hello again, here is chapter two. Hopefully tonight I can get 3,4 and 5 done for you tonight so that you have something to actually read. Make sure that you review. And here goes nothing **

Fifty Shades of the Darkest: Chapter Two

Ok you can do this. Walk in there with your head held high, your chest out and your business plan ready to go. My thoughts are interrupted by the dinging noise that lets me know that I have made it to the 20th floor. Once I exit the elevator I am greeted once again by a lobby that looks very similar to the one on the ground floor with another platinum blond sitting behind the desk. _What is with this company and its army of blonds? _Once Blond beauty number two lifts her head from the screen in front of her she says "Ms. Steele?"

"Uhhh, yes that would be me"

"Mr. Grey will see you now; you can walk straight through the double doors straight ahead"

Holy Shit. This moment is finally here. I begin attempting to make my way gracefully towards to large Silver doors. Once I make my way through the lobby and begin to push the door open, the first thing that I am seeing is the same very sterile black ,white, grey and silver furnishing that I have been greeted with every time I enter a new space in this building. When I begin to look around, I realize that there is no one sitting at the actual desk _I thought that he was ready to see me? But I guess that gives me more time to relax and calm myself. I mean I know my presentation form the back of my hand._ When I keep looking around I notice that although this office is the same in structure it differs slightly by the vibrantly colorful artwork on the walls. Clearly all of them are abstract but the many different shades of reds are calling out with me. Some can find the use of these reds to be kind of threatening, but for some reason they feel oddly… comfortable. Once again my thoughts are interrupted by a noise, but this time my focus is broken by someone clearing their throat. When I finally avert my eyes to the direction that the noise came from.

I. .

"Hello Ms. Steele, are you ready to begin this interview process?"

Holy shit he's hot. If Logan were not in the picture I would be utterly swoon. It should be dangerous to look that good. Tall, and fit, wearing a dark black fitted suit with a very crisp white button down, slim grey tie and copper locks slightly gelled to perfection but with the right about of flare that still allows his hair to curl naturally on its own. My favorite thing of all is his eyes. Oh my God his eyes, grey embers that look at you with such certainty and control that it makes me slightly uncomfortable but slightly intrigued at the same time.

"Ms. Steele?"

Oh shit, I've been too busy breaking down all of the beautiful attributes of this man that I have failed to realize that I haven't even responded or moved at all "Uhh Yes, sorry about that" I say as I begin to clear my throat

"I think we can do the interview over here on the couches so that we are comfortable, or would you rather we sit at my desk?"

"Oh um, the couch is will be fine" I say as I stare into his grey orbs.

He then starts to walk over towards the couches where we will conduct the interview. As I am making my way towards the couches my clumsy nature goes into full effect and I fall straight on the ground while trying to make my way. _Shit _I curse under my breath as I try and pick up what is left of my pride and my body off the ground. The next thing I know, is that I am feeling a jolt of electricity run through my arm and lift my off the ground. When I look up I am again met with the stormy grey eyes of Mr. Grey. I think he notices my realization of the power of electricity surging through my arm when we both gasp and he immediately lets me go and gives me this charming yet smug smirk while saying "you alright there ?" as I continue to stare at him in utter shock and disbelief. _Smug bastard knows he's got it bad. I should be illegal to be that hot. _After gathering myself together and smoothing over my skirt, I reply "Yes I am fine thank you; uh I guess we should get started now. _Well this is going just well isn't it_.

When we finally make the trip to the couch safely is when I begin presenting my business plan for the opening of a publishing house under the eyes of GEH.

"Well , as you probably know, reading is essential to everyday an activity which is why I think that GEH should consider going into the area of publishing. When we are as young as children reading becomes a daily routine in our lives. What actually inspired me to love reading so much was the ability that reading has to create worlds and paint pictures by using imaginations daily. By reading people can increase their vocabulary, find a hobby, a profession, a love and can become better communicators. Reading is needed for the base of education. We learn how to write through reading, become better speakers through enhancing our vocabulary, and become better thinkers through reading, which is why GEH should open a publishing house. By opening up a publishing house here in Seattle, we can help people of many ages all over the city".

"And how will this benefit my company?"

"Well currently books are needed for almost anything. Book can be for pleasure, for business, for learning and as gifts and so on and so forth so. My plan is that we have different departments which all specialize in different types of books to crate the most profitable income. I also think that it would be wise for the publishing company to also expand its horizons to the possibility of using e-books because in the society that we are living in know technology is what runs the world. Even though technology has replaced some of the everyday things that we would do it has not taken away from the way that people read books. If anything it has probably increased the amount of book reading that happens around the world. By considering eBooks as an opportunity to gain profits"

"Which genre of books are you looking to get into?"

"Well really it's not so much the genre but we can have all types but mostly there just need to be departments that focus of the age groups. So hopefully a young adults, readers of all ages, children's, and educational are what I believe would be best for the company that is starting off"

"Hmmm. I can see how that makes sense"

_Oh thank God, I let out the breath of air that I didn't even realize that I was holding._

"Thank you " subconsciously I begin biting my lip as the silence grows waiting for what else there is that he wants to say

"do people always make you this nervous"

_Wait huh?! _

"Im sorry, what?"

"I don't know it appears that I make you nervous seeing how you keep on biting your lip, blushing, and need I mention the slip up coming in to my office"

_My subconscious is putting on her boxing gloves preparing for the throw down to begin. Is he seriously going there right now? Like how does that? Just because he's rich and everybody bows down to him doesn't give him the right to make me feel completely uncomfortable._

"Seeing how I am currently in an interview that can decide many important aspects of my future yes, I am slightly nervous for the outcome of this interview" I snap. What the hell is wrong with this guy?

begins to chuckle, the good looking bastard is beginning to chuckle at the fact that his attractiveness and intensity is distracting. Isn't that just awesome? "Well Ms. Steele is see how that can be fitting in the todays circumstances"

"Yes very fitting" I start rolling my eyes and I am interrupted by a sharp intake of breath coming from the couch that his opposite of me. When I look up I see that he is staring at me with a very intense gaze that I myself don't even know how to interpret. He opens his mouth as if her were ready to say something and then quickly closes it. When he opens his mouth for a second time after clearing his throat he says "Well, it seems that you have made your point, you can now continue with your presentation on a publishing house." I nod at his admission and then continue to make my point. For about 30 minutes we go into the numbers, application process, and logistics and now we are finally coming to a close with this interview. _Or so I believed we were. _

"Thank you Ms. Steele for your presentation and corporation throughout this interview. _Thank God, I can finally get home to my good looking but well-mannered boyfriend. _"Now that we are finished with the completely business side of the interview we can get started on the personal."

"Um ok"

"I am going to give you a sheet for you to fill out regarding your personal information and everything else will be handled by my personal security staff. But other than that I want to know if there is anything that you think that I should know about regarding your personal life that could possibility interfere in any way that is positive or negative with your work experience for my company"

"Well I could say school, but I am graduating in six months so I don't think that could be a possibility for too much longer. And I have my dad but he has never interfered with my work or education thus far. And I also have my boyfriend Logan but I don't see how he would be a problem?"

"School, father and boyfriend you say?

"Yes those are the three things"

He writes those down on a sheet of paper and then begins to nod his head up and down. "Ok Ms. Steele thank you for your time. This concludes our interview for the internship opportunity. You should be receiving a response on the status of your internship here. Until then have a goodnight." He says somewhat coldly. Thank God this interview is over. Not only is he arrogant but I have been shitting bricks this entire time trying to go back and forth between how I feel that this is going. I stand up and start to make my way to exiting his office when I realize that he is gathering his briefcase and walking towards the exit as well.


	3. Chapter 3: Introductions

***all rights to the characters belong to E.L James***

**Hey guys I am back again. Thank you soooo much for the three views that I have thus far (lol three reviews isn't a lot) but it was such a sweet gesture to hear from people and hear what you all have to say. I am hoping to be able to update on Tuesdays, Thursday and Sundays. But for now I will try and continue to upload more chapters to give you all. OMG I am freaking out. I am soo excited to hear more from you guys ! continue to review ! **

Fifty Shades of the Darkest: Chapter 3

"You're leaving?"

"Well yes, not that its not any of your business but I have a meeting with a friend at lunch today"

"Oh, I'm sorry" I said as I begin to blush "Sorry for intruding"

"Its ok Ms. Steele"

We are finally starting to make our way out of the door when his assistant rises from her seat. " is there anything that I can get for you?" She says with a confused expression on her face

"No Andrea that will be all for now, I am going to lunch with Elena I will see you later"

"OK , Ms. Steele are you leaving?"

"Yes, Andrea thanks. Have a good night"

As we both walk towards the elevator I see him looking at my through the corner of the his eye. When he notices me looking at him looking at me I also see his side smirk appearing on his lips. For the life of me I cannot understand how much a beautiful man can be so infuriating at times. I mean yeah we all go through some fucked up shit so its not like he is the only one who has a past or bad things but I mean look at me. Just thinking about husband number three and my mom sends shivers down my spine. I quickly shake them off. My thoughts are interrupted by the dink of the elevator approaching. He then extends his hand gesturing for me to enter the elevator first. Once we are both in, he clicks the button for the bottom lobby. As the door begins to close that's when I feel it.

Holy shit balls the energy. Its everywhere and its suffocating; and what's even more uncomfortable is the fact that I can't tell if the suffocation is one that I oddly like or one that makes me cringe. I look at him questioning if I am the only one that feels it. When I make eye contact with him his jaw is so tense I think its about the fall off from the amount of pressure. His eyes turn into story grey orbs of thought and I am lost. I am lost in the tension that is erupting throughout this elevator. Before I am realizing it my breath is starting to pick up and its getting even harder to breathe. I am trying not to embarrass the hell out of myself so I close my eyes and try and calm myself down.

_My subconscious has her arms crosses and one less standing out saying " I told you so, he's fuckin hot and he feels it too. Just because you have a boyfriend doesn't mean that you can't look. And boyyyy are you a lucky bitch to be able to look at him". _ Shut up! What happened to self control?!. And yes I know that he's good to look at but he's also an asshole. And just because he's hot, fit, and dreamy doesn't mean that he's not an asshole. Goddamnit this is not helping.

The next thing that I hear is the sound of my freedom _ding _

Thank you Jesus I can get out of here the next thing I know I heard the sound of the voice that I know all too well "Babe? Hey, Ana? Babe! Are you ok? You don't look so hot"

"huh?" oh shit, Logan. I shake off the feelings of my former discomfort and realize the love of my life is right infront of me. "oh, hey yeah, I 'm alright.. I was just in uhhh deep thought about something". I can see the smug bastard looking at me in the corner of my eye and he's smirking. Hes smirking again; its like he gets some strange high from making people uncomfortable. Once again to my previous argument HE'S ASSHOLE.

"Oh ok, that's fine its just you looked a little pale and I was worried about you" he says as he kisses my temple sweetly. "oh and these are for your by the way" he says as he hands me a dozen of pink roses.

"awwww, thank you Logan this was so sweet; I'm glad that you were able to break away and have lunch with me so we can talk about the interview and everything. Have you heard if you had to stay at the hospital later tonight?"

"That's actually why I am here actually. I am only able to sneak away for lunch. I have to stay for the night shift this evening so I won't be able to make dinner like I promised"

"aww ok" I said with a slight pout as Logan and I were beginning to embrace each other. That's when I notice that he's still standing here witnessing the affection that's taking place between my boyfriend. What he does next surprises me. He walks closer to us and raises his eyebrows while gesturing to Logan as if he wants an introduction. Fine I can give you one then. I begin to slowly move away from the comfort of Logans arms to then say " Babe, this is , the owner of GEH and the person who interviewed me for the internship opportunity here". I think gesture to " , this is my boyfriend Logan". From the moment I am done introducing the two of them is sizing him up. _What the hell is his problem? Does he just like to go around beating his chest at everyone that he first encounters? _

"Its very nice to meet you mister Grey" Logan said

"likewise"

" Hopefully we will be seeing more of each other when my girl here lands that internship opportunity for your company" He says while looking at me proudly. _It's things like this that remind me why I love him. He has his moments but he always has my back and always supportive. God I can't wait to marry him one day. _ then looks at me with his intense eyes and says "Me too, I'm sure that I will". "Well Ms. Steele it was nice to meet you and your friend today. I will be seeing you; I have a lunch to attend to". Is the last thing he says before making his quick but smooth exit from GEH before I even have the opportunity to correct him on his slip up on the status of my relationship.

_My subconscious has taken her heels and earrings off and is ready for a fight. FRIEND?! A FUCKING FRIEND?! My boyfriend of six years is definitely more than a goddamn friend! _ Thinking over the events of today in my mind, getting an internship here may be harder than I thought because I am sure that mister Master of the Universe is not use to being told when he's wrong, but he will hear from me when he is.


	4. Chapter 4:Sunrise,Sunset

***I do not won any of the characters. All Rights to the characters belong to E.L James***

**AN: OMG GUYS ! I am fangirling really hard over the amount of people who have viewed and commented on my story. Ahhh this is really cool. I wanted to start off by saying that I am going to need y'all to stick with me here. There is a lot of background that needs to be covered in order for this story to make sense so give me time to get y'all to where you want to be as far as the plot is concerned. Also if there were any questions that you want to know I would love to answer them. I am also going to try and get better as far as my editing is concerned, sorry about all the typos. I wanted to try and get out a couple chapters so that you guys were not left hanging so much. I will definitely work on that. **

**I also want to let you all know that the update schedule should be for every Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday. I am up normally till like 5 am so they would probably be posted on like a Tuesday at midnight and likewise for the other days.**

**Thanks for everything and here is chapter four **

Chapter Four: Sunrise,Sunset

After less than welcoming introduction to Logan we both walked over the café right near GEH. Logan and I are sitting down enjoying our sandwiches when a thought pops into my head. I try and finish chewing somewhat quickly so I can get out what I have to say.

"Hey, so… I was thinking… the last time we really got a chance to talk we didn't have this internship as a possibility for us and now that is it one it can kind of change the circumstances".

"What circumstances" he replies, while trying to chew

"Well now that we both may have a steady form of employment other than me working at Claytons and you working for the hospital. So now that this internship can get us more money and we have more of a stable income… maybe we can think about moving somewhere that is closer to Seattle instead of staying a little outside the city in Portland. AND we can think about possibly getting that dog that we talked about."

"Ana" he says with a sigh "Why do we need to move closer towards the city? I mean yes I can see how it can be beneficial for us to live closer to the city but do we really need that much change going on in our lives at one time?"

"What do you mean? I think that if we have the means and opportunity we should take it?! This is a chance of a lifetime for us to start our lives the way that we want to and go into these new changes fresh". I am actually quite surprised; I thought that he would be happy about these new opportunities and seeking something more.

"Babe, I understand what you're saying but right now we are comfortable, and in the past when there has been too much going on at one time we have fought and taken our frustration out on each other instead of embracing the change as a good thing. I don't want to get back to where we were junior year where we were falling deeply into our majors, and trying to buy the apartment together and adjusting to our lives together as a couple. I want this to last". Even though it's not what I want he can make some sour things sound so sweet.

"Well can we compromise? Maybe give a time slot for how long we want to stay in Portland and maybe then we can decide if we really want to move into the city. And don't think I have totally not noticed the fact that you are trying to stray away from the topic of getting a dog because I haven't. " I say while sipping my tea. I don't know how he doesn't think that by this time I would not notice when he is trying to move away from a subject and keep things from me.

"Ok, fine. But can we discuss this time slot when things are more concrete. You know I want you to get this internship more than anything but we also need to work in the factors of if you don't get this work opportunity, and what happens with my internship at the hospital". He sets his sandwich down and crosses his hands over mine, while he proceeds to rub his fingers over my knuckles. When I look up from my tea he's giving me his all too familiar sexy smirk, which makes me blush.

"Oh come on! You can't get all cute on me when I am trying to make a point" I say as I try and reign in the sensations that are going on in my most sensitive of areas. _Damn good looking men! My subconscious sneers.  
><em>"Ok let's make this fair. We are going to see about moving to Seattle and then over the next couple weeks we can keep our eyes open about the dog. But for right now its important that we keep focus on the important things" He begins to then make another point but is distracted when he hears the ping coming form his cellphone. He reads whatever is on the screen and then looks up at me and continues with "Like I was saying, we need to keep our eyes on the important things and make sure that we stay focus in both our long and short time goals. We need to make this work this time Ana…I can't take us not working out again. That time of our lives was almost too much for me to bare". He says as his eyes begin to descend towards the floor.

Damnnit. I didn't mean to make him feel like we can lose everything if we move. I know that he wants to try and give me anything that I want but I can do this for him. I can make him feel comfortable in this area; I mean why not? He tried to compromise for me?

"Ok, Ok that sounds good and fair we can do that. Just… lets also make sure that we don't get so lost in trying to get ourselves involved with everything around us that we lose sight in the big picture. Ok?"

He smiles that perfect all white 32 smile and leans over the table to kiss me sweetly, leaving me slightly breathless before saying "How could I lose sight in someone as sweet as you?"

"I don't know you tell me?" I say suggestively as I give him another chaste kiss on the lips.

He snickers and replies "I will show you tonight just how much I know I couldn't" he replies before kissing both corners of my lips to then finally rest his lips upon mine once more. _ My subconscious is fanning herself down from all the heat leading towards her lower regions. Yum _

" I will hold you to that Mr. Andrews I will look forward to you showing me". We break apart when he receives another text message on his phone and lowly whispers _shit._

"What is it?" I asked concerned

"Nothing baby, I have to get back to the hospital, another intern just texted me, we need get our stats together for a project that we have the work on so that we can get started on our next set of rounds". _Damn and things were just starting to get hot!_

I am finally home from my shift at Claytons when I get a text from Kate

**Kate: Sooooo how was the interview?**

_Me: I'm not sure it honestly could have gone one of two ways_

_**Kate: Ok should I be concerned? Do I need to break out the tequila?**_

I giggle out loud reading her response

_Me: No Kate, I just… ughh he was just very infuriating. He called me out on my nervousness, made too many snarky comments for my liking, and he belittled my relationship with Logan_

**Kate: wait wait wait. Steele I need more details than this. He met Logan**

_Me: yes Kate, he met him. He referred to him as my "friend". How can you refer to someone's significant other of six years as their "friend" and to make it worse he did it in from of him!_

I am waiting or Kate's response when I my phone starts to ring. I answer without even looking the caller ID.

"Yes Kate" I say while rolling my eyes

"Seriously Steele? You think you are just going to give me some half ass explanation about how your smokin' hot hunk of a boss met your boyfriend on the day of your interview and not only did he just meet him he also insulted the status of your relationship while Logan was right there. So cut the shit I want the full story!"

I should have known that I would encounter the Katherine Kavanagh inquisition when I told her about what happened today. I mean in all honesty it's not really like she gave me much time to really even explain what happened at all, but I should have expected that from the aspiring reporter. My thoughts are interrupted when I hear Kates voice "Honestly Steele, You are killing me. I'm coming over I will see you in 10."

"So is this you asking me or telling me?"

"Oh this is definitely me telling you. This situation needs to be digested in the only way that I know how. Honest and over margaritas"

"I don't see any other any other way that I am going to get out of this so I guess I will see you in 10"

Several margaritas later, Kate and I are sitting on the couch after our talk about today when the front door opens and Logan walks in. he looks absolutely edible in his scrubs. I get off the couch and walk up to him and give him a kiss and ask him how his day was.

"It was good, we we've started this new game about how whoever is able to diagnose the most patients gets to choose the resident that we want to observe that day so I am looking forward to trying to win that but that means I have to study more". I run my fingers through his hair in order to try and relax him form the stress that is rolling off of him in waves.

"I am sorry that you are stressed babe, but I honestly the stress is just a part of what we have to go through to get to where we want to be" At that moment he finally takes the time to say hi to Kate who just says that she's leaving. I start to walk her to the door and say goodbye and try and schedule another time to hang out. Once I close the door I join Logan on the couch

"Talk to me babe, earlier it seemed like you had everything together and like we were moving into a new and positive place?"

"Well, yeah I am excited about this new opportunity but it's stressful. I am still trying to get everything together I mean honestly Ana we have to figure out how we are going to get ready for you and this new internship, we are still working on our relationship and trying to rebuild our trust. In addition to our relationship, there is also my internship. Ana I want to go into plastics… It's important to me for me to be able to get into the area that I like and in order for me to do that I need to put in more hours and I can't lose focus".

"well yeah you have to focus but I think that you are doing a good job thus far I mean from what you've told me you are probably in good standing with your residents, you go in whenever the hospital has needed you, you are studying your ass off so I mean what else do you want to do Logan? You can't stretch yourself too thin. I know that we are still working on us, but so is every couple I mean what happened happened. We both crosses lines, and you hurt me but I thought we worked through this? I mean we've been seeing since junior year. I thought we were past this? I forgave you?"

"To be honest Ana everything is out of control right now. We are still trying to figure out where you are working, I am still trying to make a place for myself in the hospital, now you are talking about moving, and getting dogs. I mean I am trying to figure out what I want to do with myself everything is out of control". He runs his hands over his face and sighs

"I do think I do think you trust me but I am not 100% sure that you have forgiven me. I mean I saw the way that Grey was looking at you, you were bate in his eyes. He was looking you like he was going to eat you for dinner… As much as I want you to get this internship… it seems like he makes you uncomfortable and that he may not be able to keep his hands to himself. It feels like you may just try and be getting back at me for cheating but it's been a year. I thought we were past his but by the way that you two look at each other... I am not so sure". He says as he rests his elbows on his knees and runs his hands over his face while sighing.

_Is he fucking serious right now? It is completely normal for people in relationships to be attracted to other people. AND he was the one that cheated on me last time. I told him that I forgave him. We said we were working through this, and if I didn't mean it then we wouldn't be together. My subconscious is flipping through the pages of our relationship wondering where the hell this is coming from? We've been seeing for about 9 months now. Everything has been moving in a much more positive direction. We were suppose to be past this._

I start to stand up from the couch "Hoenstly Logan I don't know where the hell this is coming form? Earlier we were in the café kissing, talking and everything was fine. Now everything is turning into a fight. First of all yes, things are changing… shit happens. But we should be excited about all of these things that are going to happen, we should be making the best of it. Two, We have been together for six years… excuse me if I'm excited for just to move on to different steps within our relationship. What's the point I being in one if after six years you don't even move on from the same place that you have been for the past six years. Three, it is perfectly normal for people who are in relationships to be attracted to other people. Which before you say something, yes is attractive… but he is also an asshole. A self-centered arrogant asshole so you don't have to worry besides anything happening between and I. When did you every start having doubts about my ability to stay faithful to you? Have I ever given you any reason to doubt my fidelity to you? I mean I am attracted to you like a moth to a flame. I don't understand why you would think that I would be trying to be with anyone else? You cheated before and I forgave you so honestly where this is coming from because we never have had an issue with you doubting me".

Logan gets up from the couch without another word and starts to walk to our bedroom. What the hell is his problem? He simple how was your day conversation has now turned into him questioning my ability to stay faithful to him. To say that I am confused right now is an understatement. I walk into the room t find Logan with his back turned to me taking of the top of his scrubs. I want to like my lips at how beautifully sculpted his back is while he lifts his shirt over his head, while at the same time I want slap some sense into him at the same time.

"Logan we need to talk about this… said" I am cut off by his voice echoing throughout the walls of our bedroom.

"I KNOW WHAT SAID ABOUT COMMUNICATION ANA BUT THIS IS GETTING SO OT OF CONTORL. I AM DONE TALKING ABOUT THIS NOW. SO IF YOU DON'T MIND I AM GOING TO GO TO THE DEN AND PREPARE FOR THIS DAMN COMPETITION". He says as he storms out of our bedroom.

.STUNNED

What the hell just happened? What the hell is his problem? He literally just snapped at me for no reason? Is there any reason I should be ashamed in wanting more for us as a couple? Should I be ashamed that I want us to continue to grow not only within ourselves individually, but also as a couple? There are so many emotions running through my head I don't even know what to do. I am so confused because earlier he was slightly against the idea of us moving and making changes but he was willing to try and work things out now he isn't sure about me getting the internship, he's second guessing my ability to be faithful. It's like his prospective of me just took the turn for the worst. I don't even realize that I am crying until the tears are following so rapidly that they slowly start to dampen my blouse. I rapidly while away the tears that are following life faucets from my eyes and make my way towards the shower. I just need to go to bed. I just need to get over this and talk this over with now that I may have some free time. I can't take it when it's always a back and forth situation with Logan. We have been through too much over such a long time that things like this shouldn't be bothering us. We need to move past here…. We can't keep continuing to go around in circles about how we should go about our relationship. After I have finished bathing and washing my hair I apply my strawberry scented lotion, throw on a big shirt and undies and hop in to bed; right before I was about to fall into a troubled slumber I remembered…I was supposed to be getting laid tonight.


	5. Chapter 5:Promises

***I do not own the characters, all rights to the characters go to E.L James***

**AN: Hello all! Thank you all for reading my story thus far it's been very fun to write for you all. I know I said that I was going to update Tuesdays, Thursdays and Sundays but I kind of feel like just doing it whenever I want. (You will still receive multiple updates a week). Please send me a PM or a Review stating what you guys prefer. Also while we are on the topics of reviews, PLEASE POST REVIEWS AFTER YOU READ! I like you know what you all are thinking and I like the feedback and the criticism. Thanks for all of the support and I am glad that you all are enjoying the story. Stay with me, there is a lot that is going to come I promise **

**Warning****: Please also note that this story is rated M. There are going to be a lot of explicit languages and disturbing themes throughout the stories so I would advise that you read this fanfic if you feel that you are able to withstand harsh things, language, and sex. ****This chapter will have harsh language, sexual content and disturbing themes so please read with caution****.**

Chapter 5: Promises

I am being awoken from my slumber by the feeling of the mattress dipping on the opposite side of the bed. I know that it's clearly Logan but I just stay to myself to attempt to not stir up another argument. It's really killing me because we have not been like this in forever. In all honesty our relationship has been everything but perfect in the past, and that's ok because no relationship is suppose be drama free. What's really bothering me is his mood swings, I mean the man is having more mood swings than a women in heat and it had only been a day. I honestly can't deal with him when he's like this because it makes everything feel like it's off. I think it's my own fault because after all we've been through in some ways I depend on him for normalcy. I am use to having him around to talk to, to hold, to shares my demons with, and to conquer my fear and most importantly to love.

Growing up I never really had much relationships with men other than Ray. I know that my birth father passed away a couple days after I was born which ultimately left my mother emotionally crippled, but the only man that I knew growing up was Ray. The way that I saw relationships was of one of caring and loving nature when my mother Carla and Ray were together but that image of love was quickly tainted when my mom become greedy. My mother Carla is currently on husband number four, but it seems like she is always searching for something and finds it in who she believes to be her soulmate and then realizes that it's not what she wants and then decides that she can find it elsewhere. That's only the first of my issues with relationships. I don't know if the concept of the soulmate actually exists and given my mother's track record in relationships, it's hard to tell.

In addition to Carla's multitude of men, there is also the issue that the men in which she chooses to find love in are not those who really have the ability to love either. For example: husband number three. I could never understand what possessed her to stay with that man for the life of me. From what I can remember I can understand how he could have been seen as attractive because he seemed smart, charming and he was good looking. The problem is; good looking, smarts, and charm do not take away from the fact that the man was a pedophile. For years I have struggled with the concept that someone could "love you" yet their actions speak louder than their words do. Sometimes I wonder if my mom never read the signs. The sighs that show that he was making me uncomfortable or that my demeanor changed and maybe there is also the possibility that my mom was so far in love with this man that all other flaws seemed to be nothing because of the fact that he said he "loved her" and that he "accepted me, and love me as his own" and that he got her nice things. The problem with being loved and accepted is that the form of love and acceptance has to be mutual, and it was not.

The level of discomfort that I felt was sickening. Your home is supposed to be where you can go to escape all odds. Your room is supposed to be your own sanctuary, your own personal cove of all that makes you. Shower time is supposed to be a rejuvenating and cleansing experience not only for your body but also for your mind. While living in Nevada those things were hell for me. Going home felt like a prison. There were rules for everything. As a young women I needed to assist in "providing" for the man of the house. I needed to cook, clean, and become his own personal slave. What was hell about just being home was the emotional abuse "_You stupid little bitch you can't even clean out the kitchen right how can you even think you will make it in school",_ _"Easy little bitches like you don't deserve a guy like me, when you are easy you don't get nice things", "You think you are better than me but in all actually you are as worthless as a grain of rice"_. I can still remember what it felt like every time that he would walk into the room. It was like walking through a home of defining darkness. Even when I thought that I could be alone I couldn't. I just wanted to read, and mind my own business but that was something that he still even tried to take away from me. I remember the first time it happened…

**Flashback:**

I am sitting at my desk with my feet elevated on top of the desk when he walks in. All I can think to myself is please good God just go away. This is the one place in the house that I feel comfortable. As I continue to try and ignore his presence Stephan continues to make his way into the room. Before I know it he is standing right behind me and his is putting his hands on my shoulders. The moment that his hands touch mine I feel instantly repulsed. My skin began to crawl, my face pales, and my hands began to become coated in sweat. He slowly started to make his way to caress my arms from my shoulders all the way to my hands. I sat still hoping that if I didn't say anything at all maybe he would just go away. Maybe he would just stop. The thing that I wished the most, was that this was not happening to me and that this wasn't real. My heart stops when I feel him bring my hand to his lips and whisper

"You are so good sitting here reading, it's like you are my own sexy librarian".

From the moment I heard those words come out from his mouth I yanked my hands out of his grasp only to then be greeted by a hard slap across my face. It felt like my left cheek was on fire. I remember my face pulsating in the area that I had just been hit.

"What are you doing! Please leave me alone! I haven't done anything I tried to stay out of your way I finished all of the chores! Just please leave me alone! I promise I haven't done everything that you asked!" I remember I had my eyes closed so tightly that water began to fall from my icy blue orbs. I was afraid to open my eyes and be faced with his wrath. When I slowly opened them while still clutching my left check I was shocked! He stood there saying absolutely nothing. Nothing. He said nothing. It was in that moment that I realized that this was only just the beginning to a terrible ending.

Later on that same week I was doing my normal routine of coming home, completing my homework, cooking dinner, cleaning the kitchen, reading my book. I had finally realized at the time that it was now getting late and that it was time from to take a shower. The first thing I did was walk into the bathroom and begin to disrobe myself and get into the shower. While escaping t my own personal nirvana in the shower I felt a change in atmosphere, I ignored this feeling and continued to then release my chestnut locks from the confines of my ponytail and wash my hair. After I was done putting the conditioner in my hair I realized that I ran out of bar soap. I then turned around to reach over to my shower caddy that was next to the toilet and to the right of the shower to then come into contact with a body. When my eyes finally registered what happened I realized that the cloth I was feeling was not from a towel or something from my caddy; but actually Stephans shirt. Husband number three was sitting on my bathroom toilet with his member full and erect stroking himself with I took a shower. The moment I realized what happened I let out the most earth shattering scream and wrap the shower curtain around my small frame.

"GET OUTTTT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! LEAVE ME ALONE! THIS IS DISGUSTING! YOU NEED TO LEAVE!" I am about to continue my charade of screaming when he then begins to lick his lips much of my disgust and shoot his seed all over himself. At this point my stomach can no longer contain the contents of my dinner and I begin to violently empty out my stomach in the shower. Over the sounds of my stomaching empting itself I hear the ripping of toilet paper and then his voice.

"You stupid little bitch do you actually think that your mom is going to believe you? Right now she thinks I am at work and she has her head so far up my ass that she wouldn't even see this coming. So right now you need to listen to me and I am going to tell you how this I going to be. We are going to keep up our own little private time routine with each other and your mother is not doing to hear a word of it. And do you know why that is my sweetheart? Because if you do I will beat your ass. If you think that small little slap was something to be afraid of then you have no idea as to what is in store for you next. So we are going to keep this little secret arrangement all to ourselves and continue to enjoy it together". Over my sobs I hear the sounds of the toilet flushing, a belt being fastened, and the bathroom door close. This whole time all can do is shrink myself into a fetal position and cry my eyes out. All I can think I why? Why is this happening to me? Why can't he just leave me alone and what have I done to deserve this. All of these questions are popping through my head as I continue to rock myself on the bottom of my bathtub. I just stayed in the bathtub for about two hours, afraid that when I left the enclosed area of my bathroom that I would encounter the man who would now haunt my dreams for many years to come.

That was the first time anything every really happened with Stephan but that was also not the last. From there he would continue to try and find his way invade my personal shower time. I tried to lock the both my bedroom and bathroom door in the hopes that he would then not be able to enter; but then he just got the locks removed. I tried to bring in a chair with me to lean against the doorknob and keep him from coming into the bathroom when it was occupied. But whenever I did that I would be greeted by a blow to the face. If by any chance my towel would fall when I would try and regain my composure he would pin my down and his hands would find his way to my folds where he would touch me for his own pleasure. When he would try to do this I would beg, plead and cry for him to stop but always resulted in a blow to the face and him entering his fingers further into my depths. After these attempts to withhold him from the bathroom failed I was determined to tell my mother, but every time that I would try to get her alone he was somehow always there. He began listening in on my conversations with Ray, monitoring how, when and where I was, how I got to and from school and who I was hanging out with. I felt like I was suffocating, no matter what I tried to do there was no escaping him. He was in my dreams and my reality. I was constantly sick. Whenever he would touch me it would result in me vomiting up all of the contents in my stomach that day. The idea of being touched by a man became revolting. I thought that I was going to be able to find my way out of this suffocating hell that I was living in just to find out that it was only going to get worse.

This went on for about two months when he decided that my body was only use and purpose was for his own self fulfilment and pleasure. After these two months of torture this crazy motherfucker decided that because he "loved me" it was his responsibility to show me how you are supposed to "love someone the right way" the day that he was trying to explained how he loved I knew the man was obviously bat shit crazy. There is no way that you love someone that you cause harm to. On that day I tried to fight him off. For some reason my aggression was a turn on to him. My aggression just fueled on his sexual desire for me. Everything about me was appealing to him, while his mere presence was revolting. I remember after those two months of torture he broke through the confines of my virginity. It was excruciatingly painful both emotionally and physically. I had a precious attribute ripped right through me. I thought before it was bad, and it was. I hated his touch before, but it was easy to hate him because of what he did to me. But after he rapped me I began to hate myself. I began to question if I was actually allowing this, if there was something that I was doing to egg him on, if there was any way that could've stopped it.

After he stole the last bit of dignity in myself that I had left he treated me like I was nothing. I really knew he was insane because clearly to him I was all about the chase. After he got what he wanted he never even laid an eye on me again. Much to my liking I was finally invisible. He stopped trailing my daily activity, he stopped jacking off about me in the shower, the hitting stopped, the emotional abuse ceased. From that point I called Ray and told him everything. Less than seven hours after I told him Ray was standing on my front porch beating the hell out of husband number three, my bags were packed, and I was back in Portland where I belonged. After I was finally able to break away from the hell hole, Ray sent me to a psychology unit to seek help. By this time I lost so much weight from all of my vomiting and self-worth issues that I needed help rebuilding my physique and self-esteem. When I was finally healed Ray began teaching me about shooting, and self-defense so I could never find myself in this situation gain.

Even though my attitude towards men was skittish this all changed my senior year. It all changed when I met Logan. We both knew some of the same people and were introduced. It was your typical love story. Girl meets boy. Boy likes girl. Girl likes boy. Boy impresses girl. Except with my personal issues regarding to trust and men it was difficult. The building of our relationship didn't even really happen until we were both freshman in college. All throughout high school he just remained my close friend and romantic interest and we both fought for our relationship. We had to work hard at me trusting him and being able to love in the way that someone is supposed to be loved. He had to be careful around me because truthfully I didn't even really know how to behave. By the time I was finally ready to become intimate with him we were sophomores in college. We spent so much time together, so much effort putting myself together that he became a part of what I needed to cope. He was there after all of the crazy things in my life happened and he was there to make feel better about myself. Because of him I was actually able to trust another man not only with my heart but also with my body. When you meet someone so amazing and is able to help you forget about many of the troubles that you have encountered in your life thus far it changes you. It may sound unhealthy but they become your sun, the moon and the stars and you just continue to bask in all their glory. I can honestly say the man treated me like a princess. We were perfect.

This all kind of changed when we got to our junior year of college. It was lot for us; I mean we were starting to get into the serious aspects of our majors, we were also still trying to figure out how to flourish as a couple and we were buying an apartment and moved in together. It was a lot of change. If there is something that I know about Logan Andrews is that he is not very well with change. I am all for stability but change happens and when it does you should embrace it. Logan on the other hand often choses to run the other way when he's not comfortable, and unfortunately our junior year of college this caused him to run away from me and into the arms of someone else. Oh my God I remember how much it hurt. I remember feeling like he just declare WWIII on my heart and destroyed me. I could not grasp how you can love me but still be able to find that same thing that we have with someone else. For the longest time I didn't even know what to do with myself. But if there is one thing that I did do I did give him hell. We broke up, I moved in with Kate, we didn't speak, I was ignoring him, I changed my phone number. I wanted to become invisible to him just like I was to husband number three I needed to be away from all of the hurt that was being caused by these men. My sun, my moon and my stars were all taken away from me so fast that I was just left in perpetual darkness.

One day I was pulling up outside of Kate and I's apartment to find Logan there looking so cliché; waiting for me in the pouring rain with flowers in his hands. When I got out the car he started to walk towards me and that's when I realized that the man looked like hell. I thought maybe for one second that he was feeling just as shitty as I was. Form the look in his eyes I could tell that he was devastated. I could always tell by the way that he looked at me exactly what he was feeling. From that moment I decide that I owed it to myself to try and see what he had to say and how we were going move forward wither we were together or not. After three long months of growling we finally got back together. My emotional groundhog day was over and the forecast was that we were going to be together and happy again. I was back to being treated like a princess, we were in couples counseling sorting through our issues, we worked on our communication and we made promises to each other that whenever we were feeling doubt that we would talk to each other before we act.

I use to blame my mom for what happened between husband number three and I but it took me going through with Logan to realize that love literally blinds you. It makes you stupid. It erases your common sense and everything you know to be true. Carla fucked up. She was with a complete and utter asshole. She should've seen the signs more. If not from him, at least she should've seen the signs that were coming from me because they were definitely there. I do blame my mom for what happened between us but I do understand how it is easy to get so wrapped up in the idea of loving someone that you don't even realize what's happening around you. After that moment of realization I promised myself things. The first thing I promised myself was that I was not going to allow myself to become reckless with my love and who I give it to. Second I promised myself that in no way shape or form could I be anything like her again. Thirdly I promised myself that if the bastard were to ever cheat on me again that I would leave his ass.

**End of flashback:**

Yet here I am thinking about all of the things that lead me to where I am right now wondering _how the hell did I get here?_ Things with Logan got so out of hand tonight I am just trying to figure out where I went wrong. I roll over on my side and come face to face with who I believe is to be the love of my life. I am looking into his emerald eyes and I'm confused. I am not even sure I know what he's thinking. We continue to stare at each other and for a moment I think that I may actually say something. As if he knew exactly what I was feeling I hear the words "I am sorry" leave from his beautiful lips. For a moment I just lie there looking at him trying to get some kind of a feel for what he is feeling and I get nothing.

"I was being a complete dick earlier and you didn't deserve it. I have just been so stressed with this internship that I have been taking it out on you. And then there is this Grey fucker who is trying to offer you a little bit more than an educational opportunity and I feel threatened. I didn't know what was going on because you seemed so enchanted with him I just thought that you were trying to get back at me". He raises his hand upon my check and caresses the side profile of my face lovingly. "I just love you so much that I am afraid of losing you and instead of coming to you I came at you".

"I get what you are saying Logan but you can't do that to me. I don't deserve that shit. Anytime that you have something going on you need to remember that I am not rooting against you and that I am rooting for you. We've been together since we were seniors in high school. What would make you think that for any reason that I would want somebody else?"

He opens his mouth as if he is going to say something and I just interrupt him my lifting my hand gesturing for him to stop

"Actually don't answer that because I don't want to you say something that you are going to regret and for you to receive a reaction that you aren't going to like". He looks at me with shocked eyes briefly. "We need to get past this. We keep saying that we are over this and it seems like we aren't. We can't keep staying in this constant state of denial. We need to make this work".

"I know I am really sorry baby I am honestly so sorry. You know that I fuck up a lot but I am really going to try and work this out for you". He raises my hand to his lips and kisses each of my fingers before saying "You mean everything to me".

"Then I need you to start acting like it". I say with a cracking voice "We can't just keep continuing to be sorry we need to just be happy". I feel the first tear fall down my cheek and he lifts himself up and moves his face towards mine and uses his lips to move the tear away.

"I am so sorry that I hurt you baby, I want a life with you. I will do whatever it takes to fix this. I promise".

"Ok" I whisper against his lips that are so close to mine

"Can I kiss you?" I nod my head.

He then brings his lips to mine and begins the steady and sensual pace of his lips moving against mine. Before I know it I feel his tongue graze my bottom lips asking for entrance to my mouth. I open my mouth to his and grant his tongue access to mine and I feel his arms wrap around my frame and engulf me in a loving embrace. I wrap my arms around his neck and our tongue continue our sensual dance. His lips then move from my lips to both of my cheeks, my eyelids and then downwards to my jawline before he then begins the trail down my neck. My breath begins to pick up and I am now squirming in his arms from his passionate kiss.

"Can I fuck you?" _well wasn't that just charming? my subconscious sneers at his remark._

I try to bring back the element of romance in our kiss when I try and reconnect our lips, and he then swiftly takes my arms in his grasp while bringing his lips close to mine

"Can I fuck you baby?"he states as he then leaves a chaste kiss on my lips and begins to reconnect his lips to my throat.

"_mmmmm_" is all that I can respond to his mouths sensual dance along my throat

"I think I will take that as a yes" he says as he then lifts the top of his body while also wrapping his arms around me to be in a sitting position with him. He then kisses all inches of my face while also beginning to lift off my large shirt. His hands then begin to make their way straight to my breast, where he then begins to knead my now erect nipples between his fingers.

"Do you love me baby?" _huh?_

"Yes" I reply as I try and look into his emerald globes while he continues his assault on my breasts.

"I want you to show me… I want you to show me how much you love me so that I can show you how much you mean to me right back". I then try and direct his hands away form my breasts and direct them to his thighs so then I can effortlessly remove his t shirt from his torso. Once his upper body is bare of clothing I begin to push him downwards on the bed to lay flat while I start my trail of kisses starting from his belly button all the way to his lips were I whisper "I love you" right before I bring my lips crashing down to his. All of my control over our position is lost when he then flips us over and swiftly makes to rid myself of panties. I can barely even register what's happening before he is inside of me pounding into me so quickly that I can hardly even catch my breath.

"Woah woah babe" I say slightly out of breath due to his relentless pounding into my depths. "Slow down a little bit" the only reply I can get is his low grunt while he continues to plow into me. _So much foreplay we barely were even touching each other. I was barely even ready for him to take me before he just entered me._

" C'mon Ana let me hear you, I want to hear you give yourself up for me" he says as he then brings one of his hands down to then message my clit while he continues to move inside of me.

"_ohhhhhhhhh" _I say while still trying to catch my breath. "Lo- Lo-Logan" I moan

"C'mon Ana, give it to me".

"I…"I say in a gaspy breath "I'm not ready, I... I need more"

"C'mon baby I'm about to come, give it to me" he says as he then pinches the my very sensitive bundle of nerves.

"_Uhhhhhhhh"_

"Give" thrust. "it" thrust. "to" thrust. "me" "ANA!" as soon as he is finished screaming out my name, he is emptying himself inside of me. _ . .happened_

"Ohhhh Ana baby that was awesome. I am so glad that we made up. We really needed this" he says as he begins to remove his flaccid member from my depths and deposits the condom in the trashcan beside our bed. I am staring at the ceiling utterly confused. He didn't even get to finish me off. We just had sex, _that I was barely even ready for by the way and it was basically over before it started._ I feel the mattress dip and arms going over my mid-section.

"I love you so much Ana…. We can do this I can make this work. I promise that I am going to try harder". I don't even respond because I am too busy trying to still come to terms with what that was while trying to also not move my now sore lower regions. There was no spark in what we just did. What started off as a passionate and loving kiss between two partners turned into a one sided and unsatisfying fuck.

"Ana?" I try to move my leg to positon myself onto my side when I am met the with the tenderness of my core. "Are you ok?"

"No" I whisper as tears start to flow heavily down my face. "What would cause you to believe that I was ok after you just plowed into me so hard I thought you were trying to dig all the way to China using your dick inside of me. No I am not ok because my body hurts and what was supposed to be a passionate make-up and loving making session turned into a one sided fuck" I say I continue to sob.

"Ana… I… I am so sorry it barely even registered to me that I was hurting you. I was just so caught up in the moment that I thought that you were enjoying it" he says as he says as he takes my face between his hands and starts to kiss my face.

"Please, just stop! I just don't want to be really intimate with you right now…please just stop!" I say slightly harsher than my original tone. "We can't do this Logan we can't keep taking one step back and then two steps forward like this".

"Shit Ana. Baby. I am so sorry for hurting you I never meant to do that. I just got so lost in you I didn't even realize what I was doing to hurt you. I should've just taken my time with you and cherished your body the way a man should". I still try and remove my face from the confines of his hands when he slightly tightens his hold on the outline of my face.

"Logan just let me go please" I say as I continue to cry. He sighs and then says

"Ok baby, I will let you go but can you please just let me make up to you another time? Please? I can't stand to see you cry and know that I've hurt you. Please"

"Fine just please let me go now". I whisper

"Ok baby".

I finally release the breath that I didn't even realize that I was holding and try to lull myself back to sleep. I am starting to drift off when I hear.

"Ana?" I sigh

"Yes Logan?"

"I… I am so sorry baby and I just wanted to tell you that I love you. And I love you soooooo much and I am going to make this up to you I promise".

"I love you too" is the last thing I say as I finally reach my destination of sleep once more.

**AN: This is my first time ever writing a sex scene soooo please give feedback on how you think that went so i know how to go about it for future occasions :)**


	6. Chapter 6: Yay or Nay

***I do not own the characters, all rights to the characters belong to E.L James***

**AN: I am completely stunned by the amount of people that have viewed my story over the past couple of days. Thank you all very much for your responses and being honest in your reviews. There's a couple things I did want to let y'all know. I am going to move more into the Christian and Ana more but I do have t also give enough background for the plot I have in my mind to work. Unfortunately that means that there probably is going to be quite a bit of insight on Logan and Ana so that future things can make sense. Another thing I wanted to say was that although it was unpleasant to have to read through a Logan and Ana lemon that was also necessary for future plots. I did get quite a few responses from people wishing to not have to read through an actual lemon between Ana and someone else other that CG and from now on I will try and just state or imply the lemon instead of writing one out. Thank you all for reading. Please stick with me I have the overall plot down but I am still trying to work out some details and make sure that the story stays interesting.**

**PSA:I uploaded the non-edited version the first time this is the same chapter just wit corecctions**

Chapter 6: Yay or Nay

I am losing my mind. He said that would hear from GEH about the status of my internship in two days and it have been SIX! Six painful days of not knowing where the future of my career is heading. Can people do this? Can they just chose to decide not respond to you like this? I would think such a prestigious company such as GEH would at least have the courtesy to let me know if I did not get the internship. I need to know; I need to able to prepare myself for whatever is to come, and seeing how I haven't heard from anyone from GEH in over a week I need to know. You know what I am going to call. That's what I am going to do I am going to call and ask. I walk back into my room and receive my cellphone from onto of the dresser and I start to dial. At first it takes a moment to ring and then I am met with the sound of a very sophisticated voice "Grey Enterprises and Holdings this is Claire speaking how may I help you?"

"Hi, Claire this is Anastasia Steele and I was calling to see about the status the internship that I applied for with GEH."

"One moment, let me transfer your call"

"Thank you" after a few more moments I am met with another voice.

"Hello this is Andrea secretary of how may I help you?'

"Hi Andrea, this is Anastasia, I was at GEH a couple of days ago for an interview for the 6 month internship opportunity. I was told that I should hear something in about two days and it's been about a week. I wanted to know if there was any progress with my application."

"I'm sorry Ms. Steele but we were asked not to give this kind of information out over the phone. I am sure there is a way for you to find out this information but unfortunately I cannot be the one to give it to you. If you would like I can try and transfer your call to human resources and you can see if they can provide you with the information that you are looking for?" _She can't be the one to give me that information? Why the hell not! I mean you work for the guy directly? _I let out a frustrated sigh.

"Uhhh, yeah that's fine thank you for your help" Andrea transfers my call and my ears are met with elevator music and then are very stern voice "This is Stan from GEH human resources how may I help you?"

"Hello Stan, this is Anastasia Steele. About a week ago I completed an interview for the 6 month internship opportunity and I was wondering if you could help me find out the status of my application."

"One moment ma'am let me check and see if my computer has access to that information." I am put on hold for about two minutes when I hear muffled sounds in the background. Stan comes back to the line stating "Hi Ms. Steele. I appears that I do not have immediate access to your personal file and in order for you to find out the status of your application you would have to find out from someone else. Unfortunately I do not have clearance to give away this kind of information over the phone" _are you fucking kidding me? How the hell is HR not allowed to give away information about the standing of someone's work? This is bullshit. I have half a mind to drag my ass all the way over there and demand an answer from mister master of the universe himself. Wait! That's it! I am going to go over there and get the answers that I am looking for. _

I quickly make my way in and out of the shower. After I am done I go into my closet and pull out a casual yellow sundress, a dark blue blazer and nude flats. I brush out my hair and attempt to flat iron it into lose waves. After taming my hair is complete I put on some lip gloss and mascara and then try to locate my keys. I grab my purse and cellphone and begin my departure for GEH. The entire drive I am freaking out. What if he didn't like my presentation? What if the pissing contest with him and Logan ruined everything? Was my sass too much for him? I should qualify right? Before I even know it I am sitting in the Grey Enterprises and Holdings parking lot. Holy shit. The possible moment of truth is finally here! Deep breaths. Breathe in…. breathe out… you can do this… you are qualified… you are a boss ass bitch… so I think anyway. You are going to march your butt right in there and demand answers. You can do this. Just be assertive. I apply a little bit more lip gloss before cutting my losses and leaving the slightly comforting confines of Wanda and walk into GEH.

"Hello, I am Anastasia Steele… I just dropping by in the hopes that I could find out some information regarding the status of my application of my internship here at GEH?"

"Hi Ms. Steele, is expecting you. You can make your way up. Andrea will great you when you make it to the 20th floor." She says with a smile as she then reverts her eyes back to the computer screen and continues about her days work. _Expecting me? Why the hell would he be expecting me? This is just getting more frustrating as the moments go by. _I walk away from the platinum blond at the front desk and start on the somewhat familiar path to office. I step into the elevator and I press the button for the 20th floor. In no time I hear that familiar ding that lets me know that I have reached my destination. When I reach the 20th floor Andrea is waiting for me once it make it off the elevator.

"Hello Ms. Steele, you can go right in he's been expecting you." _Why the hell does everyone think that he is expecting me when I haven't even make an appointment to be here? This was just a slightly ballsy attempt just get answers. _

"Ok.. uhh Thanks" I said after giving her a small smile. _Don't trip, be assertive. You can do this. You totally got the job. Just relax everything will work himself out. Oh and try not to stare to hard this time. I know the man wildly good looking but you must remain professional. _Right professional. I give myself a small nod of encouragement before opening the doors to his office. I can already feel him before I even know he's there. I walk in with my head slightly casted down. _Damnit what happened to head up, assertion and confidence? My self-conscious sneers. Well shit is she were walking into the master of the universes layer she would be scared too! _Before I even really get the chance to pick up my head and regain my confident composer I walk straight into a hard mass. _Jesus did you seriously walk into a wall this time? My clumsiness seriously just has no end. _I look up after my slight embarrassment I am met with stormy grey. Holy shit I just walked into his office and bumped right into him, that was not the entrance that I had in mind. When I take a moment to analyze the situation his are on my arms helping my stray upright. The clearing of his throat is what breaks my temporary haze

"Better now Ms. Steele" _Oh Jesus Mary and Joseph. SERIOUSLY! AGIAIN?!_

When my eyes finally take a moment to fully adjust to my surrounds I move myself away from his old and girl him a short nod "Um yes I am fine thanks"

"I'm surprised that I haven't seen you before now" _what?_

"I am sorry but I am not following" I said to him was we both continued to move further into his office

"Well" he starts to say before he gestures with his hand for me to sit in the seat in front of his desk "You did seem to be rather nervous about the interview that we had together last time so I assumed that you were rather eager to get a job here… or was I under the wrong impression?" I turned scarlet. I swear this man just thrives on the idea of always having the upper hand in conversations. He leaves no stone unturned.

I start fidgeting with my fingers in my lap and when I finally muster up the courage I say

"Well yes, that's exactly why I am here. In our last meeting you said that I would probably hear my decision as far as my internship is concerned in about two days… it's been six. I didn't want to be disrespectful but I began to get worried. Which brings me to why I am here. I came here to ask about the current standing of my application because apparently no one can tell me 'directly' over the phone." When I look up he is nodding his head as if he is agreeing with me and then proceeds to stand up and pick up the top of his suit piece of his suit _where the hell is he going? _And walks over to where there is a cabinet to retrieve his cellphone from his briefcase

"Would you like to get coffee with me Ms. Steele?" _how the hell does he just switch up the conversation like that? We were supposed to be talking about my application. _

"Umm, if you don't mind me asking why are we going to get coffee? I thought that we were going to talk about the status of my application"

"We can, I just don't want to talk about it here" _of course you don't _

"I'm sorry what was that?" He said. _Oh shit I actually said that out loud? I feel heat quickly spread on my face and I'm guessing by the knowing smirk he is wearing that he knows that I didn't mean for that to actually be said out loud._

"Nothing sorry… that was uhhh... Nothing. Where do you want to get coffee?" _switch the subject and everything will be fine it will be like you never even said anything else at all._

He lets out a small laugh that sounds like music to my ears before saying "You have a very smart mouth Ms. Steele" after he says my name his eyes turn two shades darker and for some reason it makes my lower regions do cartwheels. _Jesus this man is beautiful. I can understand the act of just appreciating beautiful people but this man's beauty is something else. Just to be around him is a blessing. He turns your everyday_ fitted suit and crisp white button down dress shirt into a masterpiece. Through his shirt you can see his tight and fitted chest and it's obvious that his abs are to die for. He always has his hair slightly gelled but it still as its natural curl and roughness to him. Everything about his screams macho man and its attractive. I can honestly say that if I get this internship I won't just have one job. One job is the actual internship. The other job is to maintain professionalism and not want to rid myself of panties every time that I see him.

I am interrupted by my thoughts of what he looks like behind his suit by his soothing yet authoritative voice "TAYLOR!" about a minute after he says this a very tall man with a blond buzz cut and very broad shoulders comes in wearing a suit that is almost as crisps as Christian walks in and says "Yes sir" with a very curt nod.

" and I are going to be stopping by a nearby café to discuss some business. We will be walking there it will only take us a few minutes."

"Yes sir" Mr. Sharp Suit man replies.

then turns to me and says "Ms. Steele this is my head of security Jason Taylor he may be trailing us this morning while we engage in our business matters."

"Hello it's nice to meet you" I say as I extend my hand to shake his.

"It's just Taylor Ma'am" he says while accepting my extended hand for a firm shake.

"Call me Ana, ma'am makes me feel old, and that's way too formal." After I say this is see and Taylor exchange a look followed by Christian shaking his head _what did I do now?_

"Sorry Ana but Jason is to call you Ma'am or Ms. Steele. It's important to keep this professional and formal"

I snicker before answering "That's good to know, but it's also a good thing that he doesn't work for me but Ana will do. I will even accept Ms. Steele but definitely not Ma'am." I say with a slightly grossed outlook _I am like 22 years old, why would anyone refer to me as "Ma'am"_

Taylor's lips try to maintain the smile that is dying to appear from my remark to his all business boss while Chrsitian looks at me for a moment with somewhat shocked expression that very soon turns into a mad one. _My subconscious has out her bullhorn telling all to evacuate the premises because Mount Grey is going to blow_. He tenses his jaw before saying "Like I said a very smart mount . We can address formalities when we go to grab coffee but we need to get going. He starts to walk out of his office with Taylor at his side before reaching back to grab my elbow. As soon as he touches me that familiar electricity is shooting right up my arm. I look at his face to see if he is experiencing the same thing that I am and his pupils are dilated and he looks at me with an emotion that I cannot even read. _How the hell does it he that? It's like his presence is beautifully suffocating. _While passing Andrea on the way towards the elevator he says "Andrea if anyone asked I'm out at the café and just take any messages if anyone calls for me. Anything that needs to be handled right at the moment. If anything Ros will have it all under control." As he's done speaking the elevator arrives and we begin out trip to the café for coffee.

- page break-page break-page break-page break

All I wanted to do was go to GEH and be given the status of my application. Now I am walking into a café with Christian Grey.

"Why don't you chose a table while I get the drinks? What would you like?" he asks me and of course just as polite as ever.

"Ummmmm I will have English Breakfast Tea" I reply as he turns away to go towards the register "Oh wait! " he turns when hearing his name "I forgot to tell you I like the bag out" _such a beautiful human being_

"You don't want coffee?" he asks while raising his eyebrows

"I prefer tea"

He smiles at my omission "Ok, tea with the bag out. Would you like sugar?" _his smile is so incising. My subconscious is once again fanning herself down to the thoughts of the one and only Christian Grey._

"No thank you" I reply as I make my retreat to go find us a table. I am about to walk away when I hear his velvety voice "Anything to eat?"

"Nope" _get away Steele you are already starting to blush. This man makes me so irrational_

He gives me a nod and then runs his gracefully long fingers through his slightly disheveled copper hair. _HOT! _ I feel him before I see him which causes me to stare down at my hands in my laps and bite my lip.

"Penny for your thoughts" he says which in returns slightly startles me. My face burns up _damnit you can't just run up one me like that _

He shakes his head and sets the tray that he is carrying down on the round table seated for two. He hands me a cup and causer, a small teapot and a side plate that contains a single bag of Twinnings English Breakfast Tea. _Mmmmm my favorite. _He has coffee that bears a wonderful leaf pattern imprinted in the milk. _I have no idea how the hell they do that. _He has also brought himself a blueberry muffin. Putting the tray aside, hi sits opposite to me and crosses his long and sculpted legs. He looks so comfortable. So in his elements and so very much in control; it's his typical master of the universe stance. While I sit her in my dress trying to maintain my composure and not embarrass myself. I can't help but compare our opposing stances.

"I asked about your thoughts " _there you go getting all day-dreamy and forgetting you are in the middle of a conversation again_

"Well this is my favorite kind of tea" I reply in a quiet voice. He frowns. He can totally tell that I am holding back. He begins to look at me with a curious gaze. I pop the teabag into the teapot and almost fish it out ask quickly as it put it in. He cocks his head to the side quizzically.

"I like my tea black and weak" offering an explanation to my tea drinking habits.

"Your friend? How long have you been with him" _what the hell? Weren't we just talking about tea?_

"My friend?" what friend did he meet? That's when it hits me he's talking about Logan

"Logan and I have been together since high school basically." _why did he ask me that _"With all due respect . When speaking about Logan you can't keep calling him my friend please. We have been in a relationship for six years and it's kind of rude…" I start to sip my tea after I make my comment._ OH God this is so awkward. Way to school your possibly future boss on the status of your relationship._

looks at me for a moment with a very stern gaze _Crap did I piss him off? _I begin to lower my view back to my hands that are resting in my lap._ It is ok to as for respect in some cases right? I mean to get respect you have to give it…. Right? Or is that not a thing anymore. _For a moment I thought that he was going to bite my head off when his stern gaze begins to soften.

"You seem nervous around men."

"I find you to be intimidating" I flush scarlet _this is so embarrassing _

"You find me very intimidating" he nods. "You are very honest. Please don't look down. I like to see your face" _holy shit. Well that as oddly comforting coming from him_

"It gives me a clue about what you are thinking." He picks up his coffee and takes a sip and says "You're a mystery to me Ms. Steele."

"There is not much mysterious about me actually" I say with a slight chuckle

"Oh yes you are, it's like you say so much but yet say nothing at all at the same time. You never give away the full 'story' so to speak. The only time I seem to have the slightest idea of what you are thinking is when you are blushing. Therefore you are a mystery to me." He sets down his coffee mug "and you always keep me guessing." _Such a gorgeous man and God that smile. And there I go blushing again_

"Do you always make such personal observations?"

"I had not realized I was. Have I offended you?" he sounds surprised.

"No not really"

"Good"

"But you are high handed"

He raises his eyebrows, and if I am seeing things correctly his cheeks flushed slightly.

"I am use to getting my own way, Anastasia"

"HA! You called me by my first name!" he realizes his actions and slightly flushes "And I don't doubt it. Why haven't you asked me to call you by your first name?"

"Because I told you there has to be professionalism between the two of us. Secondly, only my close friends and family call me by my first name"

"Well technically I don't work for you yet and it's not like you cannot have friends within your work place."

"Actually starting today, yes you do and we are not friends"

"Well we could be"

"I wouldn't allow it"

"You are just being a control freak"

Our conversation was put to a hold because he goes completely ridged staring at something behind my head. When I turn around to see what he is looking at a somewhat older woman with platinum blond bob wearing all black starts to walk towards our table. Who is this lady? She gives me the creeps.


	7. Chapter 7:Check Mate

***I do not own the characters, all rights to the characters belong to E.L James***

**AN: Thank you all for your reviews and sticking with me through this. I am going to try and keep giving you all chapters frequently. If you all have any questions, please PM or review and I will try to get back to you. I love getting reviews and learning about what you all think. REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW! I am re uploading this because the site keeps cutting words out of my story after I post it. Its not letting me say Grey**

Chapter 7: Check Mate

She continues to walk towards our table as is still frozen in watching her come in our direction. _Is he ok? " Grey?"_

" Grey?" he reverts his eyes back to me briefly. His jaw is still very tight and the tension is rolling off of him in waves. _Who is this woman?_

"Christian?" When I call him by his first name he looks at me for a second time and his gaze softens and his shoulders relax.

"Are you ok?" he clears his throat and nods at me before saying "Yes I am fine thank you Anastasia." After he says this, whatever personal progress that we were able to achieve is now thrown out of the window because his hard and ridged demeanor is back and gone is slightly playful Christian.

"Christian darling, I called your office to see if we could meet up for lunch today and Andrea told me that you would be her" she purrs at him without even acknowledging my presence _RUDE!_

"Hello Elena." He says to her shortly "I am here on business with Anastasia" he says while gesturing towards me for her to actually acknowledge me. "Ana this is a close friend of mine, and Elena this is Anastasia. She is one of my new interns from a project that I am doing." He says while looking at me from what I can detect is pride? _Are you proud of ? Well I am proud of me too and we can celebrate that later because this woman is rude and that needs addressing._

She finally removes her gaze from him to actually look me in the eye. _Finally bitch_

"Well hello Anastasia, it's interesting to meet you." She says very flatly. _Interesting?! Seriously? That's the nicest thing that you could possibly come up with?_

"Yes, yes it is" I say while glaring at her over the rim up my mug. _GAME ON LADY!_

"Do you mind if I join you both?" She says while returning her attention back to him. I don't know why… but it feels like she is looking at him as if he was what is on the menu for dinner… if you know what I mean. Christian speaks up before I do by same

"I am not sure about that _Elena" _he says while pronouncing her name harshly. _YES! Please leave_

"Well certainly it's nothing that I probably would not find out about anyway. We do spend a lot of time together Christian" She says as she puts her hands on his shoulders. As soon as her hands make contact with his shoulder his eyes pop out and reach to mine with a pained and panicked expression. _That's it the gloves are coming off. He clearly does not want her hear and she's making him uncomfortable._

"I understand that Ms. Lincoln, seeing how Christian and I will be spending lots of time together" I replied in a snappy tone, and with much emphasis on the "lots" and "much". Clearly I struck a nerve due the shocked and slightly offended look that is plastered all over her artificially sculpted face.

_Check mate bitch_

"Christian huh? Seems like you two are pretty close aren't you Anastasia" _did she intended for my name to sound like an explosive?_

Christian lets out a sigh before interrupting our verbal cat fight by saying "Elena." I stop him right before the next word comes of his mouth to answer the she-things question by saying "Oh, Ms. Lincoln Christian and I might not be yet, but we will be" _Cut the shit lady, you don't want to go there with me_

"Well it seems like Anastasia here does not like me being here. I won't stay where I not wanted." _Yep. My name definitely sounded like an explosive _she says before giving his shoulders one last squeeze and attempts to sashay her nasty and saggy ass out of the café. That woman is utterly repulsive! She made him look so uncomfortable! For some reason that I myself cannot even explain; I am protective of him. It's very strange to see sides to him other than the control freak master of the universe that is Christian Grey. To see him look slightly afraid or uncomfortable bothered me. I am honestly seething.

"You are your smart mouth Anastasia" he says while smirking and reaching for his coffee. _Welp, the master of the universe has re-entered the building everyone!_

"That woman is a 'friend' and I am using the term woman loosely. She is like 40 to 50 years old or something. How did you meet her?" _I feel kind of bad for the guy because I can only imagine what my facial expression looks like. _

He takes a sip of his coffee before replying "She's a friend of my mothers. She's known me since I was young and she actually helped me start my business." He says with a somewhat sad expression. _Why is he looking at me like that?_

"Interesting"

"I'm surprised that you are not talking about the fact that you gotten the internship for my company. You were rather eager before" he says while unwrapping the blueberry muffin that he purchased earlier and then takes a bite. _How is it possible that even the way that he chews is sexy?!_

"Well it was rather difficult to get excited about it when the She-Thing came over here and start shooting daggers at me."

"As always, that's an interesting observation Anastasia"

"Why do you call me Anastasia? Why don't you just call me Ana? No one actually calls me by my full name."

"Really? I think that Anastasia is a beautiful name." _Ahhh! My subconscious is doing he happy dance. Go Ana! It's your birthday!_

"Well thank you Christian, that is nice of you to say but you can still just call me Ana." I say to him as I lower my gaze to the fingers twirling around on my lap because I know that my face must be on fire right now.

"You do realize that now that I am your boss you can no longer call me Christian right?" _Oh C'mon_

"And why is that?"

"Simple, professionalism."

"I can still be professional and respect you and still call you Christian"

"Yes but like I told you; only my close friends and family call me Christian."

"Well now I am a part of the GEH family, and I would think it's safe to say that we are friends" I reply in a sassy tone while sipping more of my tea.

"Really?" he says while raising his eyebrow at me.

"Yep" I reply giving him a curt nod.

"I don't have many friends Anastasia"

"Well, not you have one more" I say while smiling brightly at him.

"I guess I do, but let's get back to GEH so that we get you started with your contract." He says while looking at me with this strange expression that makes me shift uncomfortably in my seat. He gets both our trash and sets them on the tray to then walk over to a nearby trashcan and dispose of everything. I look over to the seat that he previously occupied and realized that he has left his suit jacket and I get a whiff of his intoxicating smell of fresh linen, cologne, and Christian; and walk over to him and reluctantly give him back the top piece of his suit. Our hands graze each other's briefly and the well-known electricity between us is back. We comfortably continue to look at each other hoping to find what the other is thinking when my phones ringtone disturbs our steady gaze. I break my eye contact with him and I hear him sigh. Out of the corner of my eye I can see him rake his fingers through his short copper locks. When I get my cellphone out of the confines of my purse and look at the screen I see that it's Logan calling me. _Here we go_

I answer the phone saying "Hey babe, what's up?" I see Christians eyes snap up to mine when he realizes who is on the other line and immediately his facial expression hardens.

"Where are you? I was going to try and take you out for lunch." _At least he is trying to make up for his behavior recently. We've both been kind of distant lately. After that night I've been very skeptical about our relationship and what had been going on."_

"Oh, babe I wish you would have told me earlier. I just went to the café with Christian."

"Christian? Who's that?" he says in questioning kind of tone

"Oh yeah, umm, that's Mister Grey. His first name is Christian"

"Oh." He says in a shocked tone "How was the café?" I am still making eye contact with Christian and mouths "We should get going Ms. Steele." _Oh boy. Now we are back to the whole "Ms. Steele" thing again. _I nod my head ant him and follow him out of the café while responding back to Logan "It was pretty good actually. You are now speaking to one of the six interns for Grey Enterprises and Holdings" I say enthusiastically.

"Ana! That's great! When do you start working?"

"I don't know yet, we haven't gone over the logistics yet."

"Oh, Ok well it's a Friday. Maybe we should go out and socialize and celebrate tonight?"

"Yeah that would be great! We need more time together… you've been so busy lately"

"Well, I will let you go and get everything taken care of. I will call you later and let you know what time we are going to go out. I love you and I'm proud of you baby"

"Thank you, and I'm looking forward to tonight. I love you too"

"Bye baby."

"Bye." I hang up the phone and finally look back at Christian and his eyes are glued completely forwards in the direction of GEH.

"That was your boyfriend I am assuming." He says sharply

"Seeing how I said I love you and called the person babe. I would assume so because I don't cheat."

_Even though you have dirty thoughts about Christian while you have a boyfriend, my subconscious points out. Yeah I know, but I don't act on them! He's just attractive and I just point out the fact openly and frequently that he is indeed attractive. But you probably would jump his bones if you could, she snaps back at me. Well who the hell wouldn't? But it doesn't matter because I can control myself and the moment that I feel like I cannot; then I will remove myself from the situation. If you say so yourself she replies. My internal debated is interrupted by him saying _"Well, I did not mean to offend you but I thought that friends could ask private questions?" he says sarcastically before entering the doors of GEH and heading straight towards the elevators on the left and side. I don't even bother to reply to his statement in the middle of the GEH lobby. There are people in business suits all throughout the lobby rushing through their days work. When we are finally in the elevator, I attempt to answer his question by saying.

"Well, there is no much that you give away so I did not think that asking personal questions were on the table yet"

"Well that's why I told you that I don't have many friends. I am not the kind of friend that you are looking for Anastasia." _Why does he always do that? He just switches the circumstances so that the odds are always in his favor._

"Don't I get any say in that?" I snap back at him. Before he can even respond to me, the ding that alerts us of our arrival sounds and puts a pause on our conversation.


	8. Chapter 8:Realizations

***I do not own the rights to the characters, all rights to the characters belong to E.L James***

**AN: Hello all **** I am back with another chapter. I have a couple orders of business to get out. The first is that I was asked if I have a pinterest. The answer is that yes, I do have a personal pinterest but I do not have one for this story. Would you all like to know my personal pinterest? Or would you guys like me to create one for this story? My second order of business is to keep you all posted on my troubles with updating. For some reason when I upload my chapters to the site, it keeps on erasing some of the words I have in there and just keeps leaving the punctuation or just it just cuts out part of words. It won't even allow me to say "M r grey" all together, i can only just say Grey without it getting deleted. I have tried to fix this numerous times, sometimes it won't allow me to do so. I am sorry for the inconvenience, but I am going to still try and get that fixed so that it's easier to read. Once again thank you for your reviews and feedback please feel free to PM or give me a review with any concern or comments.**

Chapter 8: Realizations

The entire walk back to office he blatantly ignores the comment I made wen leaving the elevator. _He is so complicated I instantly start to roll my eyes at his reluctance. _Once we are inside of his office he goes straight to his desk and uses the intercom to contact Andrea.

"Andrea can you please bring me an NDA for Ms. Steele to fill out, the questionnaire, and her contract to my office please."

"No problem I will get them to you as soon as possible."

He brings his attention back to me when he realizes that I have not sat down yet

"Are you going to sit Anastasia? We might be here for a while"

"Well yes, but you still have not addressed my comment as far as our friendship is concerned."

"I didn't address it because I felt that I have already discussed the comment with you in previous conversations why even bother to keep running around in circles?" _He can be such an ass. _I don't even bother replying and just roll my eyes while I take a seat in the char that sits in front of his desk. When I look at his face I see that he is staring at me with that same dark expression. _Uh oh_

We both continue to sit in this uncomfortable silence before I decided to break the ice by asking him a question. "What is your favorite thing to do?"

"Work"

"Well do you have any interests outside of your work?"

"I have varied interest Anastasia." A small smile touches his lips.

"I was thinking more along the lines of hobbies, passions excreta."

"I enjoy flying. I own a helicopter and a glider. I also enjoy sailing. What do you like do with your spare time?"

"Reading" I giggle. I thought that would pretty obvious given my character.

"Oh course, who are your favorite authors and what are your favorite novels?"

"Hmmmmmm, probably Tess of the d'Urbervilles"

"I see" he relies just as Andrea makes her way into his office carrying many sheets of paper. She walks straight in, goes to his desk and leaves the stack of papers on his desk and makes her exit right after.

"If you are going to work for GEH you will need to sign an NDA. There are a lot of things that happen in this building and I don't like for people outside of this company to know what happens in these walls" He says as he hands me the first stack of papers. I quickly skim over the few pages and ask "Do you have a pen?"

"Aren't you going to read over that Anastasia?"

"I would assume that because we are friends that you would not screw me over."

"Interesting observation." He hands me a pen and I sign my name on the pages necessary.

"Good alight let's get the rest of this done." Over the next few hours we go over my contract, my hours, and important dates that I need to be aware of. Once everything is done he giving me all of the information that I should need to start work he lets me know that I just need to stop by HR to get my ID badge and passwords.

"Oh so they can give me my passwords and ID but they could not tell me if I was even employed here earlier when I called." I say in a frustrated tone as I gather all of the paperwork that I need to take home.

"They could not tell you the status of your application because I asked them not to" He says simply as he lifts his leg and crosses it over the other. When he says this my eyes snap up to his. _Whoa, that was not expected._

"And why would you that" I ask quietly as my mouth begins to suddenly go dry.

"Because I needed to see you. I felt that this was information that you would want to ear in person." _Holy Shit! _I can't even find the words do reply. How do I even answer that? Was that a compliment or was that just a statement? This man truly has me at a loss for words.

"You should stop biting your lips Anastasia. It's very distracting." _Holy cow! I didn't even realize that I was doing it. And distracting is an interesting choice of words. I already know that my face must be the color of a tomato by now._

"Oh, I'm sorry." I say while beginning to pick up my things "I… I didn't mean to um." _Dammnit! Now I am an English major who can't make coherent sentences. He has me over here stuttering and babbling like an idiot. _"I didn't know that I. Maybe I should? Ummm, thank you. I will be going now." I start to try and make a quick exit out of the room but he is hot on my tail. From behind me his hands grab both of my elbows and pull me towards him. The moment that he pulls me closer I am drowning in the scent of him, and it's so beautifully intoxicating which causes me to inhale sharply. _Ummm clean linen, cologne and Christian. _He's so close to me that I can feel his hot breath rolling onto my ears.

"Relax Anastasia" he says breathlessly while his body relaxes from behind me.

"But... I… You… can't" the words still won't come to me

"Ana." He whispers

"I have to go." I say with slight regret

"I know… just… don't run from me. I won't hurt you. We are friends remember?" _HEY! You can't use that against me_

"Friends don't invade each other's personal space this much… I have a boyfriend." I state factually.

"I know" he growls in a low voice. "But I don't do anything to you if and when you are with him. I believe in monogamy Anastasia but for some reason I just can't seem stay away from you."

"Ok… Then that means that you have to let me go… We can't keep doing this to each other. It's not fair to any of us. We can be friends but if not… It may be best if we stay away from each other until we can get ourselves in check." _Please let me go. I don't want to have to walk away from you. _I feel his hold on me begin to lessen and he takes a step back from me and runs his fingers through his hair. _He seems to do that when he's frustrated a lot doesn't he?_

"Let's get you out of her Ms. Steele." _Here we go with the Ms. Steele again _I say to myself while rolling my eyes. We both make our way out of his office and start towards the elevators. The electricity is between the two of us is bouncing off of the walls and it's insane. I don't get this way usually around men and seeing how I have one this is strange for me. Once we are standing in front of the elevator, he uses his long and sculpted fingers to call the elevator to the 20th floor. We both make eye contact with one another before turning our eyes back to the elevator. When the doors open I step in and he stands between the two doors with his hands in his pockets before nodding his head gesturing his departure and saying "Anastasia." I reply "Christian." Offering my goodbye as well before he moves from in-between the Steele doors and allows them to close leaving me with one last look at this beautiful man.

As soon as the doors close I lead my body against the wall of the elevator thinking to myself _how did I get here? What the hell is wrong with you? _I have a boyfriend that although he is an ass, he loves me. I feel like I am cheating of him. Am I attracted to Christian? Yes. Am I going to act out on anything that I could possibly be feeling right now? No. I feel like I am cheating on Logan. Maybe because we have been so distant lately I am feeling drawn to the attention that I am receiving from someone else? Does he feel that way about me? Do I not give him enough attention? I don't know what to do with myself because every time the two of us are in the same vicinity of each other it turns into a glob of sexual tension. I can't keep doing this. I remember how it felt when Logan cheated on me. To say I was devastated was an understatement. I loved him with every fiber of my being and the mere thought of him being with someone else repulsed me. I think I would still feel the same way now if we were to go through something like this again. I think that lately we have both been so focused on everything around us that we have not been putting enough energy into each other. We need each other as a support system. I can't betray him like this. I really need to think about my choices before I get myself into something that I won't be able to get myself into. This whole thing is making me wonder if Logan was right… maybe this internship won't be a good thing in some ways. In all honesty I know that there is no way that I could turn this opportunity down because it would give me the opportunity to do what makes me happy for the rest of my life… but it could also come with a cost. I want a future with Logan, and in order to have that I can't keep getting myself into these situations where I almost cross the line. Even though he intrigues me to no end… I need to not stray with Christian Grey.

I finally was able to get all of the information I needed from HR and I am sitting in Wanda getting ready to call Logan. I want to see if he still has plans for us thing evening because I think some couple time could do us well. I start to dial his number and he answers after the second ring.

"Hey baby, were you able to get everything that you needed for work?"

"Yes I was actually. I am all set for my first day on Monday. I was actually calling to see if you still had plans in mind for us for this evening?"

"I do actually, I hope you like it. I know that we have been going through it lately but I am going to start getting back to how we were in the beginning when we would just do the little things. I miss us and how we use to be. I love you too much to mess this us with you baby." _Thank God, we are on the same page._

"I think so too Logan, I want us to just get over this hump and get on with the rest of our lives. We have put so much time and effort into this relationship for us to just let it drift away." A lone tear falls at this confession.

"I know baby, we will get better I promise."

"Ok, that's all I wanted to hear"

"I will call you when I am out of here and let you know where we are going. I love you so much Ana".

"Me too babe, me too. I will talk to you later." I hang up the phone and hold it close to my chest. That hurt more than I expected, we are both failing at our commitments to each other. We can do this we can try harder. I know what I should do! I should call Kate and see if she would be willing to meet up with me at the mall to get something nice to wear for this evening. I dial her number next, her phone goes to voicemail and I leave a message.

"Hey Kate, I have a date with Logan tonight and I was wondering if you can allow me to partake in your form of torture and meet you at the mall and try and get a few things. We also have some things to talk about. A lot of good news though, Logan and I are trying to move into a positive direction with our relationship and I got the internship with GEH. Tomorrow we should plan something together. Love you, I will talk to you later." I hang up the phone and start up Wanda and make my way home.

Kate was really busy this afternoon so I was not able to get her to accompany me at the mall. I did stop by anyway and get some new pale pink bra and panty set. The bra is a pale pink lacy push up bra with matching cheekster underwear. I also went to express and got a nice emerald peplum tube top and new fitted jeans to ear for this evening. I already know that my heel wearing skills are lacking so I will stick to the ones at home. After I left the mall I also took the chance to stop m Claytons and give them my days' notice. They anticipated that I was going to get the internship so they already hired someone else to take my place in my absence.

Later that evening I get a text from Logan that reads

_Hey baby, I should be home within the next 30 minutes. We need to be ready to go in around 45 minutes after I get home. I have something special planned. I love you and see you soon._

Hmmm I wonder what he has planned. I decide to go ahead and get in the shower. I am washing through my hair when I feel arms wrap around my sides.

"I missed you today." He whispers in my ear

"Me too, I am glad that we are going out tonight"

"Me too, but let's hurry up so that we don't miss anything I have planned for tonight." He says as I finish rinsing out my hair.

"Ok geez, but can I at least have my kiss first." I say in a seductive manner while biting my lips

"Of course" he replies before grabbing me by my hips and bringing his lips to mine. The kiss instantly becomes very passionate and both of our tongues are starting to caress each other's. While we are kissing I feel his hard member pressing against my folds. We both instantly moan from the pressure that is being pressed against both of our sexes.

"Ana" he says breathlessly. "We have to go"

"Ok" I whisper before giving him one last chaste kiss and stepping out of the shower before we end up never leaving the apartment at all.

It's around 8 o'clock and we are finally leaving our apartment and we look pretty good. Logan is wearing khakis, and a white button down under his charcoal blazer. He looks hot. We have been driving for about an hour and I notice that we are turning into an unfamiliar exit.

"Logan where are we going?"

"You will see I promise"

After driving for about 15 more minutes we are finally stopping in front of a woody area. _What the hell is going on? Where are we going? _Before I even get to ask those questions for myself he tells me to just trust him before he grabs my hand and starts to lead me down a path through the woods. As we are walking through the woods he says

"Ana, I know that we have been struggling lately romantically but I just wanted to do something a little different to show you that things haven't changed. I am realizing that you were right. We have both been so distracted that in turn we have forgotten about each other. We have put too much into this to let this go and I wanted to make up for my ass-like behavior lately." He takes a deep breath before continuing "I stopped by here earlier before I came home to set up. I hope you like it." _What did he plan? I'm actually kind of excited now. _We take one more sharp left and that's when I see it. Candles!

A whole bunch of candles spread all along the grass leading uphill to a lone blanket. This is so cute. I'm so shocked, he has always been sweet at times but this is the most romantic things! I look at him and his nervous expression and throw myself into his arms and pepper his face in kisses. This was exactly what we needed! I finally stop my attack on his face to whisper "Thank you" in front of his lips before giving him one last kiss. He grabs my hand and leads me towards the picnic blanket that sits in the center of all of these candles. There is not much of a view of anything specific on the top of this hill but it's just so naturally beautiful there are trees so tall that they basically kiss the sky, and stars that are lighting up the whole world and I just get to sit here on this peaceful evening with the guy that I love. He helps me sits down and then tells me he will be right back before he leaves down the same pathway that we entered. Five minutes later his comes back holding a brown bag of what I can assume are goodies.

"I'm sorry that I left you here, I had a friend drop off our food to us so that our food would be fresh and hot."

"Ok don't worry that's ok, Thank you for doing all of this…. It makes me feel really… special" I reply before capturing my lips between my teeth.

"You are special to me baby". He says while rubbing his thumb along the side of my face and placing a sweet kiss on my check."

"It's nice to hear every once and a while"

"I can definitely do that more than. I would never want for you to feel like you were not special to me." He says as he begins to take out the contents of the brown bag of goodies. First he sets out two burritos from Chipotle, a pack of chips and guacamole and finally two waters. He hands me my burrito before saying "I thought we would play it safe and stick with Chipotle for tonight, you can never really go wrong there." He says while shrugging. I just nod and agree and dig into my food. For the rest of the night we talk about our days, our goals for the future, the ways that we can improve our relationship and update each other on what is going on. It's about 12 o'clock when we start to head back home. During the car ride home we keep on talking about everything that is happening and the things that are to come on our schedule. I am telling him about my possible outing with Kate tomorrow when he alerts me that his parents will be coming over to grab lunch with us. _Shit there goes my good evening_

**AN #2: I know you all are mad at my right now. I had to do it, they had to establish some kind of common ground in order for my other sub plots to work. Please bear with me! I promise that there will be more Christian and Ana interactions coming up soon. Before everyone goes nuts on the views remember that there is always trouble in paradise ;). I am working towards some shifts happening hopefully throughout the next couple chapters. I am trying to get everything to fit where I want it to hopefully have this story be between 20-30 chapters long. I want to make this work without over doing it so hopefully I can make good filler chapters to get to where we need to be in order to have a smooth transition for the next story. Feel free to give me any ideas or suggestions I really like knowing your inputs.**

**See you soon,**

**Alysha **


	9. Chapter 9:Glass Houses

***I do not own the rights to the characters, all rights to the characters belong to E.L James***

**AN: Hey everyone I'm back. I had to take a couple of days to figure out what to write for this chapter. Just a warning there is discussion on women's rights and also a little bit of bible talk. Hopefully no one gets offended but, hey you can't please everyone. I also have a beta reader for my chapters now so hopefully they will run smoothly. She is also going to edit the chapters that I have already posted, I will let you know when I re-update the past chapters with the edited version of themselves. Just so you all know the last "chapter 9 update" was just me requesting if anyone would mind being a beta reader for my stories. I deleted it after I found one, so don't worry you haven't missed anything.I also going to work on that pinterest page for you all. I will let you all know when that's done. Thanks for everything and remember to review **

**-Alysha**

Chapter 9: Glass Houses

Last night was wonderful. We were finally connecting again and for one night, I finally felt like I got my boyfriend back. Lately, it seems like every time that we have been around each other, we end up fighting. So it was good to have a night of pure relaxation and romance; where I could spend the night with my boyfriend without having any outside interruptions. Spending that quality time with him made me realize that I really do love him and that these "lapse of judgment moments" with Christian need to stop. I can't let the idea of someone interfere with my relationship with Logan. All that being said; it was a great evening. That is, until he told me that we were having lunch with his parents today. I swear every time that Mr. and Mrs. Andrews and I are in the same vicinity the Lord is testing my patients. They have good intensions, so I think… but they just don't know how to go about them the correct way. His mother, Betsy, just loves him a little too much. I know that seems odd to say, but she never allows him to take responsibility for his own actions. When he cheated on me junior year, she blamed me for "leaving him when he needed me the most" and that "he needs help learning how to be a better man while being in a relationship." _That's such horse shit! _He's a grown man. When you disrespect someone, they have the right to remove themselves from the equation. It's hard to communicate with her because we will never see eye to eye. He acts the way that he does because he didn't have a good male remodel when he was younger because his dad was never there, and whenever he was he was always disrespecting his mother; and his mother never made him own up to anything.

So here we are walking hand and hand into this restaurant to meet with his parents. Before we can give the hostess the reservation name I tug on his hand to grab his attention.

"What's up, babe? Is everything okay?" he says while trying to search my face for answers.

"Nothing… I just wanted us to promise that no matter what happens, that we are not going to let anything get in the way of our progress." I say while looking into his eyes. He sighs before saying:

"Babe, we are going to be fine. And I promise that I won't let anything get in the way of what we are trying to do." He replies while lovingly kissing my temple.

I close my eyes and whisper "Ok."

We walk towards the hostess and give her the reservation name and start to walk towards the table. The closer we get to our destination, the more I see of Betsy and Craig Andrews with impatient faces. Although his mother and I don't get along very well, I have to admit that the woman is gorgeous. Her blonde curls cascade down her back, with piercing emerald eyes just like her sons and a golden tan. She's pretty fit for her age as well and dresses impeccably. She is wearing a loosely fitted coral button up blouse, khaki slacks, and multi-colored pumps. She is putting my black knee length dress and sandals to shame. You can tell that she and her husband fit well together because he is dressed in the same caliber and she is. On the outside they both may appear to be the dream team. _If only he wasn't a cheating, misogynistic asshole my subconscious argues._

After we have all given our hellos and have sat down conversation starts to flow.

"Logan how are you darling?" Betsy asks.

"I'm doing well, mom. Just trying to successfully complete this internship. Ana and I are doing awesome as well. She actually just landed this internship that she wanted with GEH." He says while looking lovingly at me.

"Oh really, Anastasia? How is that going?"

"It's going well thus far. I am really excited about starting the publishing house with GEH."

"How long are you planning on doing that?" She asks while reaching for her glass. Before I can reply to her question the waiter comes and asks what we would like to eat. After we are all done ordering our food, Betsy looks as if she is about to say something when she is interrupted by her husband.

"Honey, maybe we shouldn't go there today? We are all just trying to enjoy ourselves." _Go where? _I take my lower lip in between my teeth nervously waiting for her to explain herself further. _Please be positive. Please be positive._

"I was just trying to ask her and see what she is planning on doing with this hobby of hers and how long she hopes to keep this up." _Hobby?! My job is not and will never be just a hobby. Is this something that I enjoy doing? Yes. But I've put in a lot of hard work and effort to get this opportunity. _I release my bottom lip from my teeth before replying.

"I'm sorry, Betsy, what was that?" She can't even respond to my question before Logan interjects on our conversation.

"Mom, please just leave it." He asks as if he is almost begging. _Leave what? I should be able to defend myself if she says something rude. _

"No, Logan. We are just talking. I want to make sure that I am understanding her correctly."

"I am asking how long you are planning on partaking on this whole 'publishing' business. I think that Logan needs you. He needs you to support him and take care of him. If you go into this too long then where does that leave him? He needs to be the number one priority in your life." _Where the fuck is she getting this from? Does she just expect me to be his servant and to be on his beck and call every second of the day? _

"Well, Mrs. Andrews, I can support my significant other while I work. We are both individuals outside of our relationship. I would never want him to give up on certain opportunities because of me. He works too hard to give up on his dreams." I reply sternly

"My son should never have to give up his dreams for a woman. In all honesty, Anastasia, the bible even says that women were created to be the assistant and servant to men." Logan's father states factually. _Has this man lost his damn mind? _I look over at Mrs. Andrews and wonder if she is really okay with his opinion of woman, and there she sits just as calm as ever and nodding her head in agreement. _Why isn't Logan saying anything? _I already know that I am giving both of his parents the bitchiest and most disgusted facial expression that I could possibly give. When I turn towards Logan, he is sitting there on his cellphone blatantly ignoring the insulting statements that are coming from his parent's mouths. Clearly I am in this all on my own. _This misogynistic bastard is going to get the business. _

"Well, Mr. Andrews, I can honestly say that I am quite disappointed in the statements that have been made by not only yourself but also yourself. Firstly, I am capable of working and still devoting enough time to my relationship at the same time. There is a word for doing two things at the same time… it's called multitasking. Secondly, I have always given Logan enough. There have been instances where we have both been busy people and we have had to make up for lost time, but I have never purposefully abandoned him. I love him and we've been together for six years... that isn't something that you come by easily. Thirdly, Mr. Andrews, not only was your statement completely and utterly repulsive but it was also false. The bible verse that you were attempting to reference has been interoperated incorrectly. The bible was stating that a woman is a man's partner; that they complete each other. They are a team. Yes, the man was created first, but the woman was never intended to be seen as lesser than that of a man. Don't use the bible to support your ignorance. I am quite disappointed that after six years of being in a relationship with your son that you are doubting my ability to be the woman that your son deserves. Fourthly, as far as my career is concerned at least I have one, Mrs. Andrews. I have worked my ass off to get to where I am, and I am sorry for my use of language by I will not apologize for defending my career choice. Quite frankly I don't appreciate you trying to ask me to commit to being strictly a house wife, because honestly if I am able to achieve what I have achieved now in such little time why would I stop here? What you are implying is just an insult to my intelligence. I respect your choice in choosing to be a mother and wife; but in return you must respect me in choosing to be a business woman as well. For such intelligent people I would have hoped that you knew better." I say while grabbing my glass and taking multiple long sips. _My subconscious is giving me a standing ovation at my speech. _Not that I am much surprised, but Mr. Andrews is the first to reply to my rant by saying

"Well, Anastasia, not only was what you said rude but it was also insulting! You are making a mockery out of our lifestyle and trying to belittle mine and my wife's intelligence." _Believe me man, you didn't need my help, you do that on your own. _

I guess Mrs. Andrews has decided that she now has something to say, "Anastasia you are just sooo... soooo incredibly…"

"Go on, Betsy. I'm sure that you can think of something to say." I reply in a sassy tone. She stares at me with he mouth open wide.

"How can you do this? How can you be so disrespectful to your boyfriend's parents! We are just trying to point out the fact that you should be doing more for him. Logan deserves a woman that wants to provide for him and give him a family. Have you even honestly talked about having kids? To be honest, I am not even sure that you should be having his children giving your current behavior. You always blame everything on everyone but yourself. You never take into account how the things that you do affect my son. Maybe last time he wouldn't have cheated on you if you were there more." _If she says one more thing like this I swear I am fucking leaving! _"You abandoned him when he needed you and I won't have it anymore. You will not marry my son one day if you cannot be what he needs in a woman!" She says as she harshly lands her hand on the table. Well I've had more than enough of this bullshit so I am leaving. I politely give her a smile and chuckle before I speak.

"I really do believe in respecting my elders, but you two make that phrase almost impossible. It really must take a lot of effort to walk around like your shit doesn't stink all the time. Remember that people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. Before you try to destroy my house with your words remember that in doing do you are doing the same thin to yourself in return. As always, it has been more than an eventful outing and I will see you all soon." I reply before giving them one last fake smile and a nod. I pick up my purse, stand up confidently, smooth down my dress and make a quick move towards the exit. By the time I have made it outside of the door, Logan is nowhere to be see. Part of me is mad that he would leave me on my own after his parents have basically verbally attacked me for the entire outing. The other part of me is glad to have this time to myself.

Instead of waiting for Logan to catch up, I hail a cab and head towards our apartment. On the way home I realize that seeing Logan with his parents has reminded me that I have not talked to Ray in a couple of days and that I also have not gotten the chance to tell him about me getting the internship. I start to dial his number and he answers after the third ring.

"Annie!"

"Hey, Daddy how are you?"

"I'm good sweet pea, how are you?" I pause before answering… _how am I actually feeling?_

"I'm okay dad, I just have a lot going on."

"Well, what's goin' on then?"

"I got the internship that I was telling you about, and I'm really excited about it." I say while trying to shift the conversation away from my problems.

"Aw, Annie, I am so proud of you! But why would you just be 'okay' after hearing such great news like that?" I sigh before replying.

"It's just been difficult… lately Logan and I have been having some issues that we need to work through… but it's going to be fine."

"What kind of problems have you two been having Annie?"

"It's nothing, daddy. I don't really want to talk about he and I right now. I want to enjoy my conversation with you."

"Okay, Annie. Let's talk about… your job! What are your coworkers like? What's your boss like?" _Oh boy, Christian. Do we even want to go into that kind of conversation with my dad? My subconscious asks._

"Well… thus far I haven't met any of the other interns that I will be working with at GEH but I have met my boss and he's…well... rather interesting to say the least."

"Interesting?"

"Yes, interesting… We've actually talked about possibly become friends and when he lets go of his controlling CEO demeanor he's actually not so bad to be around."

"Really?"

"Yeah, he's pretty cool."

"It sounds like you like him Annie." _Oh shit! How am I supposed to respond to that? Well yeah dad I kind of do; yet at the same time I don't. We have spent some time together over the past couple of days… We've accidently had a couple of instances where the sexual tension so thick that you can actually cut it with a knife but you know, it's no big deal. _My internal debate is ended by the sound of Ray's voice.

"Annie?" _Here goes nothing._

"Uh, yes, dad?"

"Do you like this man?" I sigh before answering

"I don't really know daddy, but at the same time I really don't think that I do. But there is something so strange about this situation that I myself don't even know what of make of it. We have not done anything. I really do love Logan and I wouldn't do anything to hurt him; l I love him too much to hurt him."

At this point I want to cry. This conversation has made me realize even more than before that things between Christian and I have gotten too far. I could be hurting Logan. He doesn't deserve to have to share my heart.

"Annie, you need to tell the boy about what you been feeling towards your boss. It's not fair to both of you to have this weighing heavily on your chest and for you to say nothing about it. You really need to decide what you want." _This is so weird for me. I have never really gotten this deep with my dad before._

"I know what I want daddy, there has never really been much doubt about that. I want Logan. Who else is out there for me other than him? I think I just like the idea of my boss, I actually don't feel anything for him and even if I did think that I did for a moment, I just won't allow it."

"Annie, just follow your heart and do what's best for you." He says as l pull up in front of mine and Logan's apartment building. I pay the cab and start walking towards my apartment.

"Don't worry daddy, I already know that Logan is what's best for me."

"If you think so sweet pea then do what you have to do. I know you don't want to be on the phone with your old man all day. I will let you go, sweet pea."

"I love you, daddy."

"I love you too, baby girl."

My conversation with Ray has really made me think about quite a few things. Logan and I really need to be honest with each other. We also need to talk about what happened at lunch today. One thing that his mother was right about was that we have not talked about what we want for ourselves in the future. She kept mentioning us being married and having kids, is that even something that he even wants out of life? Even thinking about our future has me thinking that I may need to tell him about Christian. In order for us to work, there can't be anymore secrets. I can't even run into the risk of hurting him in any way. Logan has done some pretty shitty things, but I still love him and I forgave him for those things. Sometimes I feel like such a hypocrite. I feel like I keep telling him and myself that we need to work on us and be better and communicate, but I feel like the words are just being repeated on a broken record. I need to be more proactive. I can't just saying that I want these things to happen. I need to make them my reality.


	10. Chapter 10:Tumbling

***I do not own the rights to the characters, all rights to the characters belong to E.L James***

**AN: Hey guys here is chapter 10. I am working on the pinterest page for you all. I just wanted to say that I understand that Logan is an asshole. I am pretty sure that you all know that he is asshole to. But I am not going to rush the plot just because people want Ana and Christian together. I am not going to be one of those who give you that after 3 chapters, let the plot develop. There is a reason why I am "dragging this on." I have also heard that some feel that Ana does not have much of a backbone. Personally I do believe that she does in my story, but there are areas and times that she does not. She is supposed to be kind of naïve and innocent in ways. I will defend my story and my reasoning for doing what I do as far as te plo is concerned. Even though some reviews are slightly judgmental, I really do enjoy hearing what you all have to say. I like being able to respond and help explain my actions, I also like to know what you all thought of the chapters. Please keep reviewing, and just hang in there with me! I promise changes are commin' in the upcoming chapters**

**-Alysha**

Chapter 10: Tumbling

I've been waiting here for nine fucking hours. It's been nine hours since we've had lunch and I am just now hearing the front door open. I am already showered, and tucked in for the night reading a book. I flip the covers off and head towards the living room. I've had enough. They say that the silence speaks louder than words and trust me it's been talking. I walk out to the living room to find him carrying in a box with a big red bow. Well obviously he knows to bring something home since he's fucked up, but bringing me home a gift is not going to change what he has put me through this evening. When he notices that I am there his eyes widen.

"Ana! I'm glad that you are awake, I have something for you!" I don't even reply, I just lean against the wall with my arms crossed over my frame. I can to this. I take a deep breath in and out and continue to look at him with a facial expression lacking emotion.

"Ana? You okay, babe?" Funny that you ask, Mr. Andrews.

"You know…" I say while I direct my eyes towards to look towards the ceiling. I can't even look at him right now. "I've done too much for you. It's sad because I have realized after waiting for you for nine hours that you don't have the same attitude towards me. No matter how shitty you treat me, no matter how much you aren't there, no matter how many mistakes you make whenever people ask me about you and me, I always tell them about how in love with you I am and how much I want us to work out and be together. But you know what's sad? What's sad is that you don't act like you deserve my declarations and I still constantly stand by you. What's even worse is the fact that you make me question my own judgments with your actions. I think sometimes that you're hiding something, and that something is wrong, but because I love you so much it makes me feel shitty to doubt you. But in return I end up doubting myself. I can never understand how for six years I've allowed you to put your sanity over mine. I've allowed you to stand by when your parents berated and degraded me for wanting to be my own person, I've stood by you when you have walked out of our bed and into the arms of someone else, and I have stood by you and watched you use me for your own sexual gratification. I have stood by you for six years trying to be everything that you have needed me to be, but I am tired. You have won, congratulations because I my legs have finally given out." I state while finally bringing my eyes back to him. He clearly wasn't expecting my reaction to his lack of effort today at lunch to be like this.

"Ana… I… baby. I thought that we promised that no matter what happened at lunch today that we were not going to allow it to come in between the progress that we are making together. I never have meant to initially hurt you baby, you are everything to me. I don't know why you would ever think that I thought differently about you. I came home with this…" He says as he unwraps the large red bow from the top of the box and pulls out a small Cocker Spaniel dog. I would be ecstatic over this if it were not for the current circumstances. "Because I want to make you happy. You said that you wanted us to start moving forward and I thought that maybe we could start to move forward together. I know that lunch was a fuck up but you can't walk away now bay we are too far into this. We are too close to our happily ever after for us to give up now."

"See that's where you are wrong. You are forgetting that I know you, Logan Bailey Andrews, and I know that the only reason that you have brought this dog home is because you are trying to compensate for the fact that you sat on your phone while your mother repeatedly told me that I was not a good of enough woman for you. But after waiting for you for nine hours, I got bored. I thought maybe I should go on Facebook and see what's going on social media. And lo and behold there was some girl named Rene posting something on our page about how much fun you had with her one night. I don't even know why I was surprised. There have been moments that I thought that maybe you were stepping out on me again but once again I said 'No. Logan would not put me through this again,' but here we are having the same kind of conversation that we had junior year. I'm the kind of woman that you are supposed to be making your wife one day. I am not supposed to be the woman that you walk out on. I won't have it."

"Ana, Rene is just another intern at the hospital, I am not walking out on you. I've been working. I don't like that you are doubting me and my ability to stay faithful to you again when you have this thing going on with Grey. It's not like I don't know about it. So, don't sit over here and try to play innocent like you are the only one that is hurt here." Is this fucker crazy?

I actually start to laugh before I reply "Honestly Logan, is there some kind of weird attraction between Christian and I? Yes, there is, but I am not taking it out on you or taking more time away from you to be with him. Don't think for one second that I cannot tell that right now that you are trying to flip this situation out on me and make it seem like I am the one doing wrong to take away from the fact that some bitch is on social media talking about the time that she spends with you, because quite frankly she is taking away from my time with you. I am the girlfriend of six years, I am the one who has helped you move through stressful times, I am the one that knows your milestones, shit I was the one who was there to accomplish them with you. Don't try and make me out to be the bad guy when something else is clearly going on. I refuse to just be another option to you. I won't do it, Logan."

"You are taking something so small and turning it into a big situation! You are taking small things that we have said we done already and bringing them up again. Honestly do you just enjoy fighting with me? Do you just enjoy not being happy? I bought this fuckin dog just to make you happy and you don't even care about it! You just see you, you, you, you, you and you don't see anything other than yourself!" Clearly he has lost his mind, because I have given him everything that I possibly want or ask for. I am just sick of getting nothing back in return. I need more from him.

"You just don't get it do you? You don't get that the things that you do effect me, Logan. Your parents offended things that I basically stand for because they feel that because I don't powder your ass for you that I am not a good woman. When you love someone and they are being disrespected, even if it's by your parents then you are still supposed to STAND THE FUCK UP AND TELL THEM THAT I DON'T DESERVE THAT SHIT! YOU TELL THEM THAT YOU LOVE ME! YOU TELL THEM THAT I AM JUST WHAT YOU NEED AND THAT YOU DON'T NEED THEM TO TELL YOU WHAT TO DO BECAUSE YOU ARE A GROWN FUCKING MAN! THAT'S THE HELL YOU WERE SUPPOSE TO DO!" I shout. At this point my tears are flowing like the Nile and at a rapid speed.

"You don't get that this is supposed to be the happiest time in my life thus far. I have finally landed my dream job and I want to share this is a happy experience with you and you are SHITING ALL OVER IT! I want to share my happy moments with the person who is supposed to be the love of my life but I can't share these happy moments with you because apparently some chick named Rene is the only one getting the happy moments. My first day of work is tomorrow we should be fucking our brains out to celebrate my accomplishments but instead we are sitting here fucking arguing again!"

"Because you are the one over here starting shit about nothing Ana!"

I this point I break down. My legs give out on me and I collapse to the ground hysterically crying. "I can't take this anymore, Logan. Either you need to change or we are done. I am not going to stick by and play dumb anymore. I think you are cheating on me with this girl and you keep denying it. I am supposed to trust you so there is nothing else that I can say on the matter but I will say this. If I find out otherwise we are done. And I don't mean taking a break done, I mean I am moving out and we are ending our six year relationship done. I can't take this constant arguing right now. I need to get ready for work and in all honesty I don't really want to be with you right now. I would stay with José, Kate, or Ray but quite frankly I am too embarrassed to even show my face in front of them. I spoke to Ray earlier and defended you and I want out with José and Kate and defended you again. You are taking everything that I love away from me and I can't stand to stay here in this apartment and play house with you. I think it's best if I leave and take time to get myself together. I can't stay in this house and keep thinking about all that we are meant to be and know that we are not that." I say as I dash away my tears and make my way towards our bedroom. I go into the closet and get out a suitcase and start to go through my closet for the things that I need to pack. Second late Logan is hot on my tail.

"Where the fuck do you think you are going?!"

"Away from here." I reply coldly

"You can't just leave when we are having difficulties in our relationship that's bullshit and it's not fair!"

"Well you got to sit by and not say anything earlier and now it's my turn to do the same. I get to sit quietly and just let life go by." He is looking at me with the most shocked expression. Yes Logan naïve Ana is dead and gone. He stands there watching me pack and when I am done, I take my luggage and gather up my laptop, cellphone and papers that I need for work before making my way towards the living room and I am stopped by the beautiful dog. I set my stuff down and pet the dog. It comes closer to me and I extend my hand to it. It comes close and licks my hand. So fucking cute. My interaction with the dog is broken by the sound of Logan's voice

"His name is Charlie." He says while walking towards both of us and resting his hands in the pockets of his jeans.

"He's really cute…"

"Well, he's yours so you can feel free to do what you feel is best." I sigh before replying

"I am going to a hotel so it's probably best that I leave him here with you."

"How do I even know if you are coming back." He says while looking really sad. I don't really know what to say to him right now. It's time for me to do whatever it is that is best for me. I sigh before saying

"Logan… I have to do this." He comes towards me and tries to kiss me on my lips and I turn my head and his lips fall to my cheek. The look of rejection is plastered all over his face. He doesn't make any other moves to try and talk to me. He hangs his hand and walks towards our bedroom and shuts the door behind him. I pick up Charlie and give him kiss on the top of his head and he licks the side of my face. I put him back down and make my way out of our apartment.

* * *

><p>Holy shit! Today is the day that I finally start working at GEH! I am excited to meet all of my new coworkers and embark on a new journey. Although I am happy a part of me is also sad that Logan and I are going through so much right now. I wish we were in a situation that I could celebrate with him. Thus far he has not said anything to me about today being my first say at work. I shake my head of all the negative thoughts and make my way to get in the shower start getting ready for my day. I clearly did not think through what decided to pack for myself, at this moment I am worried that my outfit will not withhold the level of decorum that is usually associated with GEH. I ultimately decide on just settling for a black button up blouse and a pair of high-waist flair khaki slacks and black tank top. I then plug in my flat iron and try to do my hair. I decided that I would leave it out in loose waves to cascade down my back. I don't want to look like I am trying too hard so I leave my face relatively natural. I put on some mascara and eyeliner. I actually look kind of good today. I grab my notes for the day and my bag and leave my hotel room. For now I am wearing flip flops and holding my brown black peep toe heels in my hand. Once I have made my way through the lobby and walked to the parking lot to hop into Wanda. The drive from the Fairmont to GEH was not too far from each other.<p>

I make my way towards the lobby when I am grated by Claire the front desk receptionist.

"Hello, Ms. Steele. I was told to inform you that today you have a meeting with HR and the rest of the interns at 10am this morning, around 2:30 you have a meeting with and the different head departments here at GEH who will be assisting you in your projects. Make sure that you check in Nathan Fletcher, your head and let him show you to your work study area. Make sure that you also attend all of your meetings today. I hope that you have a good first day here at GEH." She says sweetly with a smile. Jesus, I am in for one hell of a day. I was not expecting my first day to be this busy.

"Oh, um, Claire, what floor am I supposed to be on?"

"Your office is located on the 16th floor, sorry I forgot to tell you."

"Thank you" I say while nodding in her direction and them making my way towards the elevators. I press the button and wait for the elevator to arrive. While I am waiting I hear Claire reiterating the same speech that she gave to me to a young man with dark brown curly hair and brown eyes. The elevator is just came to the lobby floor when the other intern is just starting to make is way towards the elevator. I hold the elevator open for him. Once he answers he gives me a very tired "Thank you before asking my name.

"Hey, my name is Ana Steele, are you another one of the interns?"

"Yeah, I am interning here as well, my name is Ryan Powers. What business plan did you present him with?" he asks as the elevator starts to ascend towards the 16th floor.

"I presented him with a plan for creating a publishing house, and you?"

"I am trying to construct a product testing warehouse."

"That's actually cool, where did you get the idea for that?"

"Well, I was thinking that there are so many products that err produced daily. I think it's important to expand the business area of product testing. There are so many products that get recalled on a daily bases. I think it's important to pay attention to the way that things work and what makes them tick." he states factually

"That does make quite a bit of sense."

"Yes it does. I wonder what the other interns are going to be like. In all honesty I am still in shock at the fact that I was able to land this opportunity in the first place."

"Me too, it doesn't even feel like this is real. I am so excited to be able to partake in the opportunity of a lifetime."

"Likewise." He replies before the ding of the elevator lets us know that we have reached our destination. We both make our way towards the front desk and the clerk lets us know that our offices are located on the right hand side of the hall. We both make our way towards the different cubicles in the area looking for our names. Mine is the second to last office in the room. I make my way into my cubical and find a single silver desk and matching office chair and a phone. I am definitely going to have to liven up this place. Ryan comes into my office and tells me that the other interns are now starting to arrive. I make my way out of my seat and start to walk towards the lobby of the 16th floor. When I finally make it to the lobby I am greeted by four other interns; two women in addition to two more men. We all make introductions to one another and when they are complete I have now met Ryan, Kirsten, Lilly, Jeff and Patrick. I look over at the clock on the wall and realize that it is now 10 minutes until our first meeting starts.

"Guys, our first meeting starts in 10 minutes, we should probably get going."

I hear different "Okays" coming from everyone. We all make our way to the conference room and wait for our boss to show up. After 15 minutes our boss finally makes his way into the conference room.

"Hello. My name is, Nathan Fletcher, I will be your head during your internship period here at GEH. Normally I am working in HR but during this time I will continue to work up there and also monitor your progress here. I am basically here as a coach. Seeing how you all have got this internship opportunity here, I know that you all are more than capable to succeed in the different works that will be required of you. That being said here are you agendas for this week. Every week you will be given a different agenda that will consist of the activities that need to be completed in order for your business to succeed." he says as he passes each of us a folder. "Each of you will also be assigned to a mentor who will help you with your projects. Your first project will be to start looking for potential building locations for your projects. You not only need to find a location but you also need to find a contractor to construct or renovate your site, you also need a way to provide funding for your project. You all can either decide to come up with a funding project as a team or to do it individually. Whatever proceeds that you are able to raise will be matched by GEH itself. Are there any questions?"

Lilly raises her hand before saying "Hi, my name is, Lilly Saunders. I wanted to know when we would know who our project head is?"

"You will find out who your project head is at the second meeting that is being held this afternoon. That meeting will be held in the 20th floor conference room."

_I wonder if I am going to see him._

"If there are no more questions we can move on to the next topic?" No one raises their hand, so Fletcher starts to move on to the next topic. For the next two hours we go over what we should expect to happen over the next few months to come, company conferences and outings, budgets, business plans and editing, and how to go about getting the permits needed to actually contract your business. When we are finally done viewing power points, it's time to take a break. I go to my office and begin to go over possible locations for Grey Publishing to be located. I have looked through page and page and page over the last hour and I am getting nowhere. I decide it's finally time to take a break and go grab lunch.

I am walking through Seattle for somewhere to settle down and eat. I am continuing my walk along the sidewalks when I past this beautiful modern building. It's all white with many windows and glass doors. Even though I wouldn't personally be interested in this building due to its lack of privacy but there still has a very attractive element about itself. I am starting to look closer to the building to see who is responsible for the design when a man with blond messy curls starts to make him way towards my direction. Oh shit I've been caught.

"Hi, may I help you?"

"Um, yes I suppose. I was wondering who the construction company responsible for this building was." He gives me a dazzling all white smile.

"Myself actually, my name is, Elliott Grey. I am the CEO of Grey Construction. It's nice to meet you."

_Oh shit, this is the other Grey? _


	11. Chapter 11:Valid Points

***I do not own the rights to the characters, all rights to the characters belongs to E.L James***

**AN: So today we are going to start off with apologies for my ridiculously long absence. I am very very worry that it has taken me this long to post a chapter. Originally it took me like 4 days to even write this one. I was having really bad writers block, then there have been issues reaching my beta so I didn't want to post something that was not edited. So I got two of my friends to edit the chapters for me for now so I can at least here we are almost two weeks later. **

**This should never happen again. I am giving you all two chapters tonight because my absence was ridiculous so y'all deserve a little more than one chapter. I am also going to try and crank out another 2-3 chapters for you all this weekend but I do still have to write two papers and study for a psych exam so I will do what I can within reason. I really do feel bad and I will make it my mission to at least post twice a week. I won't leave you all hanging like this again. I am not going to be on of these authors who get you all intrigued and then don' update in forever. That being said please enjoy chapters 11 and 12, and review review and review! I love you all dearly and thank you!**

**-Alysha**

Chapter 11: Valid Points

Of course while I'm in the process of site hunting, I run into Christian's brother. _Is__ it__ normal that all of them are actually this good looking?__!_

"Hi I'm Ana Steele."

"Hello Ana, why did you need to know who the contractor for this building was?"

"Well actually, I am currently working on a project and we all need to find a site to place our business expositions. We also need someone who can renovate or contract the building, and I was admire your work."

"Thank you, what kind floor plan or idea are you looking for?"

"Ideally, an office set up for a publishing house."

"When do you need to need to have this building or site built by?" he asks.

"Well in all honesty I don't really know… I haven't even had a meeting with my advisor yet."

"Have you decided if you want to construct or renovate?"

"I think it may be in my best interest to renovate, depending on the building. It may be less to do that then to try and construct a whole different building. What do you think?" I ask him.

Before he gets a chance to answer me my phone starts ringing. I give him an apologetic look before saying "One moment, do you mind if I take this?" he gesture with his hand for me to go ahead with my phone call.

"Hello?"

"Steele where the hell are you? I went by your house to see about us catching breakfast together, and Logan told me that you are living at a hotel? Why the hell are you staying at a hotel?" _Here we go, I don't know why I thought that I would ever be able to escape the Katherine Kavanagh inquisition. _"You know that you could have stayed at my house, we need to talk about this! I am starting to worry about you, today was supposed to be a good day!"

"Are you done Kate?" I say while rolling my eyes.

"No I am not done, where the hell are you? I am going to take you out to lunch."

"If I go to lunch with you another, time will you stop with all the questions?"

"Probably not, but it's worth a try."

"I am on my way to the Italian restaurant on 8th. I am trying to discuss business right now, Kate"

"Oh… my bad Steele, see you in 15." She says and then the line goes dead. I let out a breath of frustration. "I am sorry Mr. Grey, I had to take that or she was never going to stop calling me." I say to him apologetically.

"It's fine, why don't I accompany you to lunch and we can talk all about your reno options for your publishing house."

"I would love to but unfortunately now that my crazy bestfriend knows where I am going, there is no telling what chaos will occur. I would want to give you my undivided attention when discussing business matters."

"Oh don't worry Ms. Steele, I would love to accompany you and your 'crazy best friend' to lunch."

I sigh before replying. "Well you insist Mr. Grey, 8th street here we come."

"Please call me Elliott, it seems like I will be seeing much more of you to keep this strictly business ."

"Please call me Ana then."

Elliott and I begie talking business when I see Kate with her gossip gameface coming straight toward us. When I look at Elliott his eyes completely fixed on Kate. _Here we go. _When Kate finally makes eye contact with Elliott she stops mid stride. Clearly she finds Elliott to be just as attractive as he thinks she is. I think Kate noticed that she has stopped dead in her tracks to admire him. This is the first time that I have ever witnessed Katherine Kavanagh blush.

"Ana… who is that?" Elliott asks in a husky voice.

"That would be my best friend, Kate. Kate Kavanagh," I say proudly

Kate finally makes her way to the table on shaky legs. If I wasn't so shocked, I'd laugh._ Seeing Katherine Kavanagh in this state is truly astounding._

"Kate, this is Elliott Grey. He may be my contractor for my internship. Elliott, this is Kate my best friend." After all hellos are exchanged Elliott and I continue to discuss business and the benefits of working with his company. I noticed the entire time that Kate has not taken her eyes off of Elliott. Although Elliott and I are discussing business, I notice that every once so often his eyes drift over to Kate. _Jesus these two are having tunnel vision. _At this point I decide to cut my losses and say goodbye to the potential love birds and make my way back towards GEH. I got back just in time for my second meeting to begin. In the second meeting we learned who our mentors are. Of course now that I am trying to stay away from Him, who do you suppose is my new mentor. It looks like Mr. Grey and I will be spending a lot of time together. Of course the entire meeting he is avoiding me like the plague. Instead of waiting till tomorrow after the meeting I decide to approach him as he is starting to walk out of the conference room."

"Christian?"

"Yes Anastasia?" he replies coldly

"Well I was thinking that seeing how we are going to be working together and spending lots of time together, that we should get to know another better?"

"Really? And how do you think we should do that?"

"Well I was thinking that we could have dinner? When I get squared in my apartment, we could have a friendly dinner."

"Why are you not in your apartment?"

I sigh before responding.

"I am currently staying elsewhere until I work over some things. There is nothing to worry abou,t I am fine."

"That's not answering the question Ms. Steele." H_ere we go with all of the Ms. Steele business. He's always so dam__n__ demanding. _

"Well that's what you get for this one." I reply defensively

"Point made as always Ms. Steele, although I do feel that if we are going to get to know each other, I should probably know why you are not staying in your apartment, and we should also answer each other's questions." He replies smartly, I just roll my eyes at his response. He can be such an ass sometimes.

"You are rolling your eyes again Ms. Steele." Why_ does he always have to do that?_

"Oh c'mon I don't really say anything about your snarky responses to my questions, so you don't get to talk about me and my eye rolling tendencies" _take that smart ass_

He raises his eye brow at me and lets out a heart filled laugh _oh my God he's beautiful and that laugh just does things to me_ before replying "There goes that smart mouth again. Why don't we call it a drawl and since you are not currently staying in your apartment how about you come over my place and we cook dinner there sometime this week?"

"I guess this one isn't worth fighting about, and that will work. When do you want to have dinner?"

"I will email you when I find a time that I think will suit the both of us."

"That's sounds great." I reply before we both say our goodbyes and make our way to our own prospective working areas.

My first week at GEH goes very well. I myself am actually kind of shocked by my progress. This week I was able to secure Elliott as the contractor for Grey Publishing, decide on renovating this amazing place Elliot found, and I was able to make all of my scheduled meetings. Now the main focus is figuring out possible fundraising strategies to sponsor the renovations, and budget for GP. A notification brings my train of thought to an abrupt stop. **You have one new email from GREY, CHRISTIAN.** I open up my mailbox:

**From: **Christian Grey

**Subject:** Dinner?

**Date:** May 6 2011 2:15

**To:** Anastasia Steele

Dear Anastaisa, I was wondering if you are available for dinner tonight at 5:15pm?

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

I hit "reply."

**From:** Anastasia Steele

**Subject:** Timing

**Date:** May 6 2011 2:17

**To:** Christian Grey

Firstly Christian, how many times do I have to tell you to call me Ana.

Secondly that is right when I end work, I would not have time to go to the store and get the necessary components for dinner.

Thirdly what are we having for dinner?

Anastasia Steele

Intern at Grey Enterprises and Holdings

I hit send and wait for a reply from Mr. Lord of the Universe himself when almost automatically I receive a reply back.

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** Valid Points

**Date:** May 6 2011 2:18

**To:** Anastasia Steele

Once again Anastasia you make a fair point as always. I did not mistake the timing at all. We can go to the grocery store together to get the ingredients tonight's dinner. I will have Taylor wait for the both of us at the downstairs lobby at 5:15. As far as what is on the menu. That is truly up to you; I trust your culinary instincts.

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

I can't help but grin at his response. _He's such a smart ass_

**From:** Anastasia Steele

**Subject:** Valid Plans

**Date:** May 6 2011 2:20

**To:** Christian Grey

I agree to all of those terms. I suppose that Stir Fry will be easy and simple for the both of us to make. I will see you downstairs at 5:15.

Anastasia Steele

Intern at Grey Enterprises and Holdings

I don't receive an email response from Christian after the last message that I sent him. I am really looking forward to dinner tonight. This week professionally has been wonderful but personally it has been a bit draining. It took Logan a couple hours, but when he finally did contact me he wouldn't stop. He kept asking when I would be home, where we stood, if I could forgive him, if we could get together; but to be honest I am not really ready for all of that right now. I still need to do some thinking and processing about everything that has occurred. It's now Friday, and I now that at some point he and I are going to have to talk. He called me earlier to let me know that he won the internship contest for the surgery of their choice. In all honesty ,I am very happy for him. I am glad that he is moving forward in his career. Although I am still upset about how everything has happened, parts of me still wish that we could be experiencing all of these good times together. I shake off all of the negative thoughts about my relationship and start to throw myself back into my work.

I've been so deep in my work that I have not even realized that it is now 5:25. _shit__,__ shit__, __shit he is going to be pissed_! I am trying to pack everything up swiftly when my efforts are interrupted by a booming voice

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU FOR 10 MINUTES ALREADY?!" _what the hell is his problem? I get that I am late but I mean doesn't that happen to everyone? _

"I was doing the thing that I am paid to do called my job, and I was just coming. I was so focused that I didn't even realize that it was past 5:15. I'm sorry about that I did not mean to keep you waiting" I say while attempting to stay calm

"I get that but you should have been more prepared. You need to have control over your time Ms. Steele!" _ok seriously I don't need this right now. If he wants a fight, a fight __he's gonna get. _

"If you want to use our personal relationship against me by using my last name formally to get under my skin that so be it Mr. Grey!" I spit back "I have a long and hard week, I don't need this shit from you today! I have already apologized for being late. Now can we move on or are we going to waste more time sitting here having this petty argument!" I reply while letting out the breath that I did not even realize that I as holding. _He can just make me so mad sometimes! Walking in here like he owns the place. Well technically he does my subconscious points out. I mean I know that he does but it does not mean that he needs to walk around here barking at everyone. Sometimes the barking is just so unnecessary! _I am waiting for him to verbally charge back at me when his expression softens. He runs his hands through his hair and sighs before saying

"Ana… I didn't mean to upset you. I am just not a very patient man. I do not want to argue with you this entire evening. i am not use to people calling me out for my outburst because truly I don't have many friends that tell me otherwise because I don't really have friends. Can we forget that this happened and try to enjoy the rest of our evening?"

I ignore him for a moment and continue to gather my belongings before replying "Fine, let's go."


	12. Chapter 12:Broken Barriers

***I do not own the rights to the characters, all rights to the characters belongs to E.L James***

**AN: Enjoy this chapters, I just wanted to let you all know that from now on I am probably going to post on the weekends. I know it sucks that you have to wait all week but I am going to try and crank out 2 chapters a weekend. Enjoy and review**

**-Alysha**

Chapter 12: Broken Barriers

When I met Christian, never in a million years did I think that weeks later I would be grocery shopping with him. Yet here I am, on a Friday night, grocery shopping with my very temperamental boss. Most would find this kind of situation strange, going through aisles picking out the items that we need. I find it slightly intimate. It's so strange to me because in these small moments with him I am feeling the reality of the situation itself, there is something between Christian Grey and I and it's unnerving to think about. I'm snapped out of my thoughts when I finally take a moment to really look at Christian in this setting, I honestly find it a bit humorous, he just looks so out of place here in his neat suit and sexy demeanor. Every woman in our vicinity has their eyes completely focused on him and have entirely disregarded the produce they're picking out to bask in the beauty of this man. _I don't know how he does it. How does he manage to look this good without even trying? How does he not even notice that every single woman in this area (including me) can't move their gaze from him? _The entire time I'm having this internal dilemma, he is eyeing everything in this section of the store as if he's never seen any of it before. _Does this usually happen every time that Christian goes shopping? _

"When's the last time you've been to the supermarket?" I ask. He stops for a moment to look at me before replying,

"I don't remember." _Well that would explain a lot_

"I am assuming that you have someone who takes care of your grocery shopping then, seeing how you eat and what not."

"Yes I have a housekeeper, Ms. Jones, she maintains Escala and cooks my meals there." He replies as I inspect some green peppers, trying to actually focus on something other than him.

"Well its good to know that you have someone to help you out in that ivory tower of yours."

He sighs before replying,"Ana I… I am glad that you still decided to come to dinner tonight even after our timing incident earlier, I am really looking forward to your cooking." He says before giving me his well-known heart-stopping smile. _His radiance becomes a new form when he smiles. I wish he would smile more _I think to myself.

"Well we should have a good time as long as your don't revert back to your arse like tendencies." I say while pushing the cart to the pasta section of the store. He stops for a moment and lets out a slight laugh.

"Arse like tendencies Ms. Steele?" he asks while raising his eyebrow at me in a snarky manner.

"Oh Yes Mr. Grey, definitely arse like."

"You do know that I am your boss right? You probably should refrain from referring to my tendencies as ass like."

"Well it's a good thing that are both not on the clock, and that we are just trying to get to know each other. Because when such things happen I believe that using phrases such as arse like are completely acceptable."

"You and that smart mouth"

"You know it." I reply before winking at him and moving towards the direction of the next aisle. By the time that we are done shopping we have quite a few bags that Christian himself decides he wants to carry towards the car. When we finally make it to Escala Christian is once again on his bag man duties carrying the bags up to the penthouse. This is such a strange look for him, this is nothing like his control freak CEO demeanor at all.

"You look very…" I say while trying to come up with the best words to describe the picture in front of me, "Domestic right now, its pleasantly different from the usual."

"No one has ever accused me of that before," he replies dryly before setting the bags down to enter the elevator code for his apartment. The elevator doors finally begin to close and that similar electric feeling becomes magnified. _This is ridiculous! We can never be in a closed setting without having all types of feelings running all throughout the area. The attraction is defining can you could slice through the tension between us with a knife. I shouldn't even be thinking of these things because I still am technically with my ass of a boyfriend, who I really haven't even given myself the time to think about; yet here I am in an elevator having dirty thoughts about my boss. Is this what it feels like when he with this Rene character? The thought alone sends my mind on a mental road trip. _I am finally being pulled back from my mental vacation by Christian's voice saying

"Just breathe," in a thick raspy voice. I finally get the courage to make the eye contact with him and I am greeted by smothering grey eyes. His eyes look so grey they almost appear to be black and that's when I realized again, that he feels it just as much as I do. I lean my head back against the elevator wall and try to collect myself. I feel him before I see him because now I am completely suffocated in all things Christian. I feel his hand against the curve of my face and move a lone hair from my forehead behind my ear. As soon as I feel his fingertips brush against my ear I let out a gasp that I myself was not even prepared for. By this point my face is burning with heat and my heart rate has increased. _How the hell does he do this to me? _His name then begins to roll off of my lips like a prayer before saying "We can't". I finally open my eyes for the second time and this time I am greeted with an entirely different expression from the smothering grey gaze ta I was previously given. This one is a look of pain. His jaw tenses and before I know it he has moved to the complete opposite end of the elevator from where I am standing. It's not fair, I hate making him feel this way but I hate that he keeps putting me into these situations where I have to reject him. After what feels like eternity the elevator doors finally open up to reveal Christians apartment. _Fucking finally! Why do elevator rides with Christian feel like forever. _Christian darts out of the elevator smoothly and avoids all forms of contact with me. _Here we go, another one of Christians shades. _He continues to make his way through his all white foyer. As we continue to walk through his apartment I notice all of the brown, black, dark blue, grey and white embellishments throughout his home. It's so sterile in here, I guess his office and his home have very similar tastes. Every so often I notice different pieces of artwork throughout the apartment that add some personality to his pristine environment. I personally don't see how this enjoyable, there is barely any evidence that life and happiness happens here. The only feelings that I can muster from this environment is coldness, darkness and a slight feeling of danger.

We finally make our way to the kitchen and Christian sets down our groceries on the island counter and walks towards the refrigerator, pulling out a bottle of wine.

"Would you like a glass of wine?"

"Yes Please."

"Red or white?" he asks. I know it seems like an innocent question but it seems as if his eyes darkened slightly when he mentioned the color red.

"I would like white please." I reply as he moves comfortably round the kitchen to retrieve two wine glasses and a wine opener. While Christian is situating the wine I ask "Where would I find your pots, pans, seasoning, cutting board and cooking utensils?" He gestures to the places where I will find the materials while uncorking the bottle of wine. He pours both of us a glass and brings his glass up to his delicate lips. _Mmmmmm Christians lips. _This oddly, feels so normal. Two people, getting to know each other, over a meal. Yet at the same time it doesn't seem like the previous strenuous situations between Christian and I have been forgotten. Especially the incident that just happened in the elevator; I know that at some point we are going to have to discuss these lapses of judgment with each other again. Even thinking about all these slightly intimate moments with Christian have me blushing at the fact that I have such personal moments with someone that I barely know. I have a feeling I'm going to be leaving here with a lot to think about over the weekend.

"What are you thinking about?" he asks before taking another sip of his wine. _Shit my subconscious says we've been caught again. _

"Nothing…" I reply as I start to make myself busy with slicing the chicken into smaller strands. He sighs before saying

"I can always tell that you are thinking about something slightly unnerving because the blush on your cheeks say it all" _oh great, he totally just called me out, which in return has probably also worsened my already heated cheeks. _"Don't shy away from me Anastasia, aren't we supposed to be getting to know one another?" _Damnit he always knows how to use my own points against me._

"I am thinking about how little I know you." I state factually. _See I have at least admitted half-truths to what I was thinking._

"I am a very, very private person Anastasia, the fact that you are even here at all means that you probably are going to know more about me that a lot of others would." _Here we go. _He is eyeing me as I focus on seasoning the chicken that is in front of me. He sets his wine glass on the counter across from the island before asking "Can I help you with that?"

"No its fine… you can just sit and chat with me."

"I'd like to help." He says a little sternly. I sigh before telling him grab another cutting knife from the drawer and the cutting board. He then walks back towards the islands awaiting further instruction.

"You can chop the vegetables." I say motioning toward the peppers.

"I don't cook," he says while looking at the knife in his hands suspiciously.

"I imagine that you didn't and don't need to." I say as I am starting to make my way back towards the chicken that I was previously preparing. I continue to season the meat when I realize that I am not hearing any sounds of the knife dragging across the cutting board and through the vegetables. When I look over he is still looking at confusingly at the items that have been placed before him. _This is so strange, I am not use to domestic and confused Christian._

"You've never chopped a vegetable?"

"No." I smirk at him _ohhhhhhh Mr. Grey, your culinary innocence is adorable._

"Are you smirking at me?"

"It appears that I Anastasia Rose Steele have found something that the Master of the Universe himself cannot do." I say while doing my own victory dance at my small accomplishment. He stands still with a small smile playing across his face. "Here let me show you." I motion for him to move back a little to allow me to occupy his current working space. I start to pick up the knife and begin to show him how it's done. "Like this." I say while slicing the red pepper, and attempting to be mindful of the seeds.

"Looks simple enough." _Oh boy, cocky Christian is back._

"You shouldn't have any trouble with it." I reply with a slight sarcastic undertone.

He gazes at me impassively before continuing his previous tasks. Seeing that he is now accustomed to his task I then return to preparing the rest of our meal. Not too long after I continue, I hear him slowly cut through the pepper. When I look over at him he is eloquently slicing the peppers at a very slow, careful and precise rate. I look up at his face and see his brows slightly furrowed and he is looking intently at the pepper and knife. He is so concentrated. His efforts are sweet though. _They may be sweet but from the looks of it we may end up being here all night, my subconscious snaps sassily. _I chuckle slightly at his immense efforts in pepper slicing and continue to prepare the rest of the meal. I have finally completed all of the other tasks and now am only waiting for the peppers. I grab my glass of wine and make my way towards the opposite counter to get a better view at the stuggling Christian Grey. He is still intently working on this single pepper. After five minutes of watching him I ask

"What are you doing there big man?"

"It's called cooking Anastasia."

"Yeah, and you are really good at it."

"You know sarcasm is the lowest form of wit." He says factually before briefly making eye contact with me.

I decide to put the poor man out of his misery and gather up another knife and a second cutting board to cut all pieces of garlic, shallots and other vegetables. I quickly make smaller pieces of the vegetables and then look back at Christian. He is still focusing heavily on this single pepper. "Want me to finish that?"

"No I got it."

"Christian, let me finish it so I can throw all of these things on the stove." He reluctantly lets go of his knife and allows me to move it. I quickly slice through the pepper and gather up the rest of the items to place them on the stove.

I am putting the ingredients together in the frying pan when I hear him say, "You're quite good at this." He states.

I shrug my shoulders at his confession,"Ehh... it's just years of practice," I say while putting the lid on the pan. I turn around and face Christian, "Well now we should actually start the get to knowing another part."

Fifteen minutes later we are both comfortably situated at his breakfast bar and eating.

"So Christian, what should we talk about first?" I ask before bringing some noodles towards my mouth.

"I don't know Ana this was your idea after all, I thought maybe you would have something interesting to discuss."

"Well I wasn't entirely set on a conversation I just thought that we would just let things flow, but I suppose that I can think of something to ask." I take a moment to race over a couple of questions that I could ask him. "Hmmmmm, what about where are you from? That's an easy one."

"I am from Detroit technically, but I have lived in Seattle since I was four," he replies

"How come you moved to Seattle?"

"I was adopted at four." He says quickly. He quickly shifts the conversation to ask about where I am from.

"Well I lived in Montasello for quite a bit of time with my dad Ray. But when my mother and Ray split she got remarried, and we stayed briefly but then she got bored again and we moved to Nevada so she could be with her third husband." My voice starts to falter towards the end of that comment by the mention of husband number three. Thinking of him still makes my skin crawl. There are some things that still can bring me back there to t terrible time in my life.

"Ana are you alright? Your face has paled significantly."

"Yes I'm fine." I reply in a soft voice "Can we switch the subject please?" I whisper before grabbing more stir fry to distract myself.

"Yes sure." He replies confidently. He may not think I notice it, but I can tell that he is eying me suspiciously. "You told me that you and this boyfriend of yours have been together for a long time."

"Well yes, it's been six years. We've gone through some interesting times together."

"How so?"

"Hmmmmmm, well, we met at what I would say was a rather…. Interesting and stressful period of time in my life and in many ways he helped me move into appositive direction in my life. In addition to that Logan has been one of the most constant factors in my life. He was the first boyfriend I ever had, first person that I fell in love with, when I see my future I would see us together…. Don't get me wrong we've had some shitty times too but that just comes along with being in a relationship."

"Well then why are you not at your apartment with him currently?" I look down at my plate shamefully and play with the contents of my meal. I sigh heavily before responding

"Well we are going through a rather tough time in our relationship right now, and we are just still trying to make sure that we still are both on the same page. I am probably going back, I just have a lot to work through before I go back." I say. I don't really want to talk about Logan and the lack of steadiness and certainty in our relationship right now. "How about you? Are you seeing anyone?"

"No, I don't do the relationships. I am not the hearts and flowers kind of man." He replies coldly

"And why is that?" I ask shyly _how could this beautiful, successful man, not be in a relationship. And I am getting the feeling that he has never been in one to begin with. I find this almost impossible to believe. _

"Because I am fifty shades of fucked up and I have no heart Anastasia."

"I don't think that I believe that." I reply confidently "I've seen the charity work that you do, I've heard how you talk about your family. You love them, you love to help people and you do great things. You can be an ass sometimes. But I won't believe that you don't have a heart Christian. I won't accept that from you." I say before grabbing my wine glass and taking a plentiful amount of wine into my mouth, getting nervous by his silence. He is looking at me intently with a strange expression on his face that I myself cannot even detect. _My poor fifty. _He realizes his inability to respond and clears his throat before saying "What is something that you have always want to do?"

"I've always wanted to go to the zoo. I know that it sounds silly, but I was never able to go as a kid and I've always wanted to go since then. Logan says he's going to take me but hopefully we can get around to actually go to doing it." He nods his head in response and takes a sip of his wine. "What about you?"

"I would like to actually go back to the places that I have visited as a child and actually get to see everything. When I was little I did not really get to experience the attractions the way that I would now like to."

"Where did you go as a child?"

"I've gone to Paris, Greece, Germany, England and Spain." I am looking at him in complete awe, I would love to be able to travel that much.

"I must say, I am envious of you. I've always wanted to travel the world. If I had the option to choose between the places that you have gone I would definitely go to England. I would love to visit Buckingham Palace, Big Ben, the Palace of Westminster's, the art museums, and libraries. I would just lose my mind there. Being the English literature junkie that I am, I would probably never want to leave." I say enthusiastically.

Over the next couple hours he and I are still talking about ourselves and getting to know another. Christian tells me more about his family. He tells me about how his mother Grace, saved him from the terrible life that he was living. How his father has been a great influence of his life. He tells me about Elliott and Mia and how he loves his goofball of a brother, and his overly enthusiastic sister. He tells me more about The Grace, Charlie Tango, and his gliders, how he started his business and his friend who helped him. He tell me about his slightly rebellious childhood and short attendance at Harvard. I feel that by this point in our conversation his walls have been put down tremendously. He looks so calm and collected and in his element. I am just sitting here listening to everything he says. I did not even realize how much time has passed and I notice that it is now 11:30. _ Time flies when you are having fun I suppose._

I release the yawn that I didn't even realize was approaching and I'm slightly embarrassed.

"Sleepy Ms. Steele?" he says I sigh and nod my head before saying.

"Yeah, its been a long week and my body is just exhausted. I should probably get going." I say unenthusiastically. It was nice to just sit and talk to someone. Tonight was very relaxing other than our slightly stressful situations earlier. Christian is looking at me silently for a while. I don't know what he's going to say at all.

"You are right, its late… you should probably get going." He replies in a reluctant tone. His tone makes me pay more attention to his facial expression and I noticed that his jaw is now tensed and his eyes are that stormy grey color again.

"I had a great time tonight Christian… it was nice to get to know you and see you outside of the office setting." I say while gathering up our used dishes and start making my way towards the kitchen. I am putting the dishes down in the sink when he sets the next set down as well.

"You can leave them here, Ms. Jones will take care of them."

"Are you sure? I mean it would be no trouble for me to just clean these up?"

"It's fine Anastasia, that's her job."

"I know that it's her job Christian but I don't want to make it any more difficult for her than it needs to be."

"It's fine Ana… I enjoyed you coming tonight as well by the way…"

"I really did have a good time, we should do this more often." I say while gathering my belongings and make my way towards the elevator." He runs his hands through his unruly copper locks before saying

"I still believe that you should stay clear of me Ana."

"How many times do I have to tell you that I want to be friends with you? You paint yourself out to be this bad guy that you are not. I am not going to allow you to deny yourself the credit that you deserve. And I won't stop until I feel that you have finally accepted my terms. You are better than what you give yourself credit for Christian." For a moment he just stares at me. At first I am waiting for the volcano to blow but he simply asks

"What hotel are you staying at? I will drive you home since your car is at work still. If you want you can leave your keys here and I will have Taylor drop your car of to your hotel in the morning and leave the keys with the concierge." _I am seriously not going to get anywhere with this argument tonight. _I sigh before telling him that I am saying at the Fairmont, room 5002. He nods his head before stepping into the elevator with me. We descend towards the lobby and neither of us make any moves to say anything or contact the other. The car ride home is very similar to that of the elevator, silent. We are finally pulling up in front of the Fairmont and he stops the car and puts in in park before saying "I did enjoy your company Anastasia, I hope you sleep well." I just stare at him for a moment. Why does he have to be so damn difficult? I shake my head before wishing him goodnight.

When I finally make it to my room all I can think about is my night with Christian. I was so comfortable and so at peace when he finally let his walls down. I'm realizing that I think I want to spend more time getting to know him, I want to go out with him, and do the things he loves, meet the people he loves and get even more personal then I have already managed to get. I realize that my feelings for him are anything but innocent. It's making me realize that I don't feel that way towards Logan anymore. There is no comfort, no love in our embraces, no interesting conversations. Hell I haven't had an orgasm in forever! Maybe that is why I have been so crazed over Christian when he and I are in close proximity. I want to know all about him, I want to break down all of his defenses and show him how good he truly is.

But first…I have to break up with Logan.


	13. Chapter 13:Novel Knowledge

***I do not own the rights to the characters, all rights to the characters belong to E.L James*  
>AN: Hey Everyone! You won't believe how busy things have been. In addition to me being busy. In addition to me being busy, I also have yet to hear from my Beta. I have also messaged other people to see about being a Beta reader for my story and I have yet to hear from other people as well. In addition to that I have asked another friend of mine to read the story and she caught Pneumonia so yeah it's been a mission to find someone to edit my stories. If you know anyone who would be willing to Beta read my story please PM me. Other than that there is a good chance that I will have a snow day tomorrow so I am going to try and get some more chapters up over the next couple of days. I am sorry for how long it's taking me to post lately. I really appreciate you all reading my story! Please keep reading and remember to post reviews! I really love to hear from you guys. If you all have any ideas of recommendations as well, I am open to anything <strong>** thanks a bunch!**

**-Alysha**

Chapter 13 Novel Knowledge

Last night was rough. It took me forever to finally fall asleep, and when I finally did all could keep thinking about was last night and the possible conclusion that I have come to. I might be breaking up with Logan. I think that's still what I want but I'm not sure if that's actually what my heart wants or if it was just me acting in my post Christian haze. I've been lying awake in bed for the last 20 minutes, doing nothing but trying to work through what I actually want to do with my life.

In all honestly I really do love Logan. We've been together for six years. There has been a lot that has happened over the past couple years. Looking back on our relationship I know that there has been a lot of good and quite a bit of bad too. Even know, things between he and I are not very pleasant. I really don't know what to do as far as he is concerned because I feel like he has hurt me too many times. He keeps making these stupid mistakes and these mistakes that he is making are common for the beginning of relationships but we are six years in already! We should be thinking about our future together as a whole and lately I've been thinking about all things Christian.

_Christian_

I don't even know precisely what it is with Christian that makes me act like a giddy twelve year old girl every time I'm around him. Sometimes I think that it's his mysterious and charming ways that have me all intrigued. I hate that he doesn't give himself enough credit. He is such a beautiful person and I don't just mean physically. Every time we are together he always tries to berate himself and find a way to distance himself from me and I won't allow it! I want to help him. I don't want him to feel broken and alone. I'm broken in too many ways, and I know that; but I don't want him to feel broken and alone because that is something that I am all too familiar with unfortunately.

Before I met Logan I was a mess about the whole situation with husband number three. I was struggling both physically and mentally. I was afraid of almost all men accept for Ray. At one point I was home schooled because I couldn't handle the possibility of having a male teacher. I remember waking up every night trembling from atrocious nightmares. Ugh God the nightmares! They were horrible. I couldn't find peace anywhere. I was in an everlasting nightmare. As stupid as it sounds men existed in not only in reality but also in my dreams. Every time I had a nightmare it was a replay of the occurrences or new experiences with him. Sometimes I would even imagine that he couldn't come into my room alone. I hated the fact that something so normal made me feel like an outsider. I hated the fact that I would cringe away, or the fact that my heartbeat would accelerate to an uncomfortable pace every time I was around a man. I couldn't feel safe anywhere else other than home. When I finally felt comfortable enough to go back to school I was still struggling immensely. I would eat by myself, I wouldn't talk to anyone inside or outside of class and what made it easier was that no one ever really tried to talk to me. The only person who ever did eventually try to talk to me was Logan.

Truthfully he was the only person that I could feel comfortable with at school. He would sit with me at lunch, talk to me in class and try to help me get the notes. At first I was annoyed with the fact that he would keep trying to approach me when it was obvious that I felt uncomfortable. After a while it was clear that he was not going anywhere and I just gave up on trying to push him away. I then started to open up to him slightly. I would just say high or just give him small answers, but that something small was better than nothing I guess. I was afraid to give much away about myself. So many times I would just sit there and listen to him talk. I could listen to him talk for hours. For the first time I actually felt myself wanting to be near someone else. At first we just talked, after a while we would hang out, and he met Ray. I liked the fact that he cared enough to wait until I was comfortable. I think that the history that we have together is make makes me irrational when it comes to him.

I've realized that over time I've allowed him to do too much to me. He's cheated, and maybe more than once now, he puts me on the back burner, emotionally abuses me at times and I mean, hell, he let his parents do it. To be truthful the sex hasn't been the same anymore either. I'm not satisfied at all. I miss being able to spend time with him and when we do actually get around to spend time together it's like he's never there. I really do love him so much that sometimes I think that I just depend on him as a form or normalcy. After that traumatic experience, he and Ray were the only two people that helped get me back together again. I know that it was years ago and I have found the strength to stand on my own now.

I think I should end it with him. If we are really meant to be together than eventually we will. He needs to prove to me that he's the man that I think he is. I also don't want to sit by and just potentially waste time just because I'm comfortable. I want my life to be plentiful. I don't want to look back and regret. I also don't want to stay with him and feel like I am emotionally cheating on him with Christian. I need to give myself the opportunity to figure out what I really want.

With these concrete findings I need to get out of bed and do something productive with my day. I lean over towards the night stand and retrieve my cellphone, where I am greeted with 4 texts messages. The first text is from Kate, the second is form Christian, and the last two are form Logan. _Oh boy, this is just what you need... more confusion, my subconscious snaps sarcastically while rolling her eyes._

The first text from Kate reads: "Hey Steele, I know it's been a rough week but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't have fun, let's go out tonight." _I already know that if we end up going out tonight, that it's going to result in a shit show. Yet at the same time I think that the mental break will do me well._

I reply with

*S**ure, where do you have in mind?***

Next I move onto Christian's text that says "I really enjoyed your company last night, I hope that you were able to find sleep easy." _Ha! As if, I couldn't get you off of my mind! There is no way that I could actually say what's on my mind though. _So instead I settle for

***I really enjoyed myself as well, we should plan another evening."**

I check my other two messages that are from Logan

"Hey babe I've missed you! What are you up two?" and the other says "Hey babe, we haven't been able to properly celebrate our accomplishments together. I was wondering if you would want to gout to the lounge tonight with a couple of friends and celebrate."

I really don't know if it's best for me to go out with Logan tonight when I plan on breaking up with him. I don't want to ruin the evening and I also don't want to confuse him. Although I really don't want to go, I do owe it to myself to celebrate my successes. Even so this way I can kill two birds with one stone and invite Kate. I reply back with a sure what time? Before hopping in the shower.

All day I have been trying to brainstorm and find a way to fundraise money for GP, thus far I have been struggling to find a way. I've also been communicating back and forth between Kate and Logan. Tonight we are going to go to a bar called fifties _isn't that ironic? We are going to a place called fifties after yesterday's discussion with Christian. _I am grabbing my cellphone and bag full of clothes to start heading towards Kates. After I've got everything that I need, I start to make my way towards the door. I'm expecting to just walk out and continue on my merry way, when instead I trip and end up landing straight on my face. _What the hell was that? _After pushing off the hair out of my face and brushing down my clothes, I looked right in front of the door and saw a large box. What the hell is that? I looked closer at the box and it's addressed to me. I pick up the box and then stand up to walk back inside the hotel room. _Who the hell is sending something to my hotel room? The only people that know that I am here are Logan, Kate, and Christian. CHRISTIAN! At the realization that the books are most likely from Christian, I am frantically trying to tear this thing open. _

Opening the parcel, I find two items. Firstly, I find a half other box containing three identical old cloth books that are in mint condition and a plain white card. On one side, in elegant writing, the card says,

"**Why didn't you tell me there was danger? Why didn't you warn me? **

**Ladies know what to guard against because they read novels that tell them of these tricks…" **

I automatically recognized the quote from Tess. He remembered. He remembered that Tess was my favorite book and used that quote to tell me something. But… why? It's clear that he's trying to send me some sort of warning, but I don't understand. I've already spoken to him about my determination so this message that he is trying to send me is pointless. I then open up the front cover and written in an old face on the front plate is

'**London: Jack. Rosgood, Mcllvaine and Co., 1891.**

Holy shit – there are first editions. That's crazy. Is he insane? What in his right mind would possess him to buy me first editions? Holy shit! If he's already bought me outrageously priced books, then what the hell less did he put in here? I sat down the first edition Tess books and reach into the box and pick up the next item. On the outside of the smaller box is the same beautiful handwriting that I found with the Tess quote, but this one reads

_There's no need for you to waste money staying in a hotel. I have an extra apartment at Escala that you are more than welcome to use at any time that you need it. I would feel more comfortable if you stayed there so I would at least you are safe. Please consider my offer._

_Signed,_

_xC_

Fifty has surely lost it. Not only does he start off by buying me first edition books that probably cost around $14,000, but now, he decides to offer me an apartment at Escala. This is way too much. I would try to call him and tell him that this was too much, but he didn't answer any of the text messages that I sent earlier, so I know he won't answer. You just can't send someone these kind of things and then not answer them when they try to contact you. I am going to return these the next time that I see him. I shake my head at the thought of trying to convince Christian that I don't need these things. I set down the keys to the apartment and gather my things for the second time and head out to Kates.

At Kates house we talked all about my dinner with Christian, the gifts and everything that has been happening between Logan and I. After talking everything hearing everything Kate was definitely on the break up with Logan train. While at Kates, she convinced me to wear a spaghetti strapped dress, with an accent black and gold belt. For some reason I have also submitted myself to the torture of four inch black stilettoes. Now hours later we have finally showed up at fifties and we see Logan, Jose and some of Logan's coworkers from the hospital all gathered around a table. I am pretty nervous about being around Logan tonight. I don' mean to make him feel bad because I don't want to be affectionate with him. I don't want to get him confused and have him think that I want to be with him now when I don't. We have a lot to talk about and I don't want him to think that this whole time ta I have been pretending. When Logan's eyes meet mine he gives me a beautiful smile. We start to make our way towards the table Logan makes his way over towards me. He greats me with a hug, but when he tries to kiss me on the lips I turn my head towards the side. I feel bad for denying him but it's necessary at his point. I know what I want know and know that I don't want him in that way anymore. When I look up at his face his facial expression displays one of extreme hurt.

"Ana?" rolls off his lips in disbelief

"Logan," I say with a sigh, "Let's not do this here and ruin the night for both of us. Let's just enjoy ourselves ok?" I said to him while I place my hand on his shoulder.

"Let's not do what Ana because I invited you out tonight because I wanted to spend time with you and try and get back to where we are and now you act like you can't even kiss me so let's not do what tonight Ana because the only thing that we seem to not be doing lately is be together so let's not do what?"

I roll my eyes at his response replying "Honestly Logan I don't have time for this today. If you want to sit here and pout and fight I hope you enjoy doing that by yourself because I don't feel like doing this all night with you. So enjoy your pity party and I am going to go ahead and make my way towards the bar." Walking away, I head towards the bar and grab a rum and coke.

Two rum and cokes later I am really starting to feel it. We are all gathered around the table sharing laughs and talking about everything that is going on in our lives. We are all buys enjoying ourselves when Kate says

"Ahhhh! I can't wait for us to finally graduate! I'm so proud of my Ana banana for finally landing her internship with the one and only Christian Grey…" She says while nudging my shoulder playfully and laughing playfully "I think you and are going to be able to achieve so many things together…" she says until she is interrupted by Logan who snickers before saying "Yeah she will do everything with him but won't do anything with me."

"Excuse me?!" _what the hell is he doing right now?_

"You leave our house together, you don't answer any of the ways that I try to reach you and I know that he wants you Ana. If you want to be a gold digger than you do that. I thought I knew you better than that but apparently I don't." he replies sassily before taking a sip of his drink. _Has he lost his fucking mind? What would make him think that it would be ok to question me in front of everyone in this group? This is exactly why I didn't want to go out tonight…. I did not want to have to deal with him and the pettiness that he is showing right now. I deserve better than this. This is exactly why I want to break things off with him. The only reason that I haven't said anything about us breaking up yet is because I think that no matter how things are playing outright now that he deserves to know the truth; and the whole truth. I don't want to leave any stone unturned and I want to have closure about everything that has been going on. I can't believe that after everything that we have been going through I would've expected more than this._

"Logan I suggest that you shut your mouth before you open up a new flame that you don't even know how to tame." I reply sharply. I am going to need a lot more alcohol to get through this evening based off of his current behavior. I go towards the bar and order the next round of drinks. All I can think to myself is why is it that every man I have encountered gets like this? In all of our time together I have barely ever seen him get like this. His behavior is so ridiculous. Now I feel like he's been acting like Christian by being so stubborn. CHRISTIAN! I still have not been able to talk to him about his extravagant gifts. He needs to know that he can't just send me things and not give me the opportunity to even accept or decline his offers. I need to try and get both of these situations under control because things are really starting to get out of control. First I need to get together with him tomorrow and really break things off officially with Logan. I also need to call Christian about these books.

After several drinks I have thought long and hard about everything and I want to talk to mister master of the universe now! I pull out my phone and scroll to his contact and press call. The phone rings three times before the line goes silent and the sound of Fifty's masculine voice breaks through saying

"_Anastasia?"_


	14. Chapter 14: Do I Wanna Know

***I do not own the rights to the characters, all rights to the characters belongs to E.L James***

**AN: Hey guys! So here is the next chapter. There are a couple of references from chapter 5. The material in this chapter is not that bad but it does reference from some of the things that happened between husband number three and Ana so hopefully it won't be disturbing. It's not where near as detailed as it was in chapter 5. Also! I have finally made that Pinterest page that you all asked for. I will try to do better with updating it along with the story. The name to follow for the Pinterest page is alyshalouis. It is my personal Pinterest but there is a board for Fifty Shades of the Darkest. I also wanted to say that I did see the movie and I thought that it was great! I really enjoyed it and I thought that Jamie and Dakota did a great job! I think you all should try and go to see it and give it a chance. As always thanks again for the support and reviews and please continue to be awesome. Please review and review and review and I am hoping to get the next chapter up for you all really soon.**

**Much Love,**

**Alysha.**

**PS: just in case fanfic doesn't allow the Pinterest page to show just search for the at sign and then alysha louis (all together)**

Chapter 14: Do I Wanna Know

Crap he actually answered? I didn't think that he was actually going to answer this time. _Well it's too late to be second guessing yourself now…You might as well just reply my subconscious says. _Here goes nothing I guess I have nothing to lose.

_Before I get the change to respond, he repeats the thing that he said when he answered "Anastasia?"_ He sounds surprised to actually hear from me. To be honest I am surprise that I actually called him.

"Why did you send me those books Christian?" I attempt to say confidently. Do to my immense slurring I am definitely failing miserably.

"Anastasia are you ok? You sound strange?" he says in a concerning way

"I'm not strange. You are strange! You are strange oh mysterious, controlling and bossy one" _Ha! I told him! _

"Anastasia have you been drinking?"

"I don't know, do you think I've been drinking? I drink every day. I drink water, and orange juice, and tea, and Coke, and . I love to drink."

"Have you been drinking alcohol Anastasia?"

"I told you my name is Ana!"

"I am not going to ask you again, have you been drinking?"

"What's it to you Christian?"

"I'm just curious… Anastasia where are you?"

"At a bar."

"Which bar?" he says sounding exasperated

"A bar in Portland? You know where I live?" I reply sarcastically

"Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit Anastasia, and how are you getting home?"

"I'll find a way" I say with a nod. This is not going how I expected at all.

"Why did you send me those books Christian?"

"Anastasia, for the last time where are you? And I need you to tell me now." His tone is so intense and controlling. He always thinks that he can get people to do whatever he wants just by changing the tone of his voice.

"Your voice is so domineering." I say with a giggle.

"Ana, so help me, where the fuck are you?"

Christian Grey, Master of the Universe is now swearing at me. I actually start to laugh at the fact that I am unnerving the control freak. "I am in Portland… which is a long long away from Seattle."

"Where in Portland Anastasia?"

"Goodbye Christian."

"Ana!"

I hang up. HA! I showed him! I am standing against a wall at a bar drunkenly laughing my ass off because I have unnerved the control freak. I still can't believe that I actually decided to call Christian Grey and sass him. What's even more surprising is that he answered. I my victory laugh to myself is interrupted by my phone ringing. _Whos calling? _OH SHIT CHRISTIAN! I reluctantly answer the phone with a "Hi."

"I am coming to get you." He says, and then hangs up. Oh crap! I don't know if I should be concerned because of the possibility that he is actually coming to get me? Or because of the fact that he replied so calmly. If there is one thing that Christian Grey does not do calm. Oh shit… shit shit shit shit shit! I need to take a breather. All of this drama that has transpired tonight has given me a headache and quite frankly I think that all of the alcohol that I have consumed is now getting to me. I really don't want to vomit tonight. I am totally not in the mood to vomit. I walk away from the wall and walk towards Kate. When I finally find her, I see her with some guy talking by the bar.

"Excuse me, sorry…. Um Kate I'm not feeling too hot. I am just going to go outside and cool down."

"Ok Steele, see you in a few."

I am starting to walk outside when I am approached by Jose

"Ana!" he says while rubbing the side of my arm "You ok?"

I put a little distance between the two of us and reply "I think I've had a little bit too much to drink." I while smiling weakly at him.

"Me too," He murmurs "Do you need a hand?" he says while moving closer towards me while trying to put his arms around me.

"Jose, I'm ok. I've got this." I say while trying to move away from him clumsily

"Ana, Please." He whispers, and now he is holding me and trying to pull me closer to him.

"Jose, what are you doing?"

"You know that I've always liked you Ana. Logan isn't the guy for you. He doesn't treat you right and I always would've treated you right. You know that I care about you." I am frantically shaking my head trying to wrap my head around what the hell is going on. The only reason that I even went out tonight was so that we could have a good time. Now I have to deal with Christian, Logan and Jose. This is too much. "Yo quiero uno mi amor… un beso por favor mi Corazon. Te quiero mucho Ana." **(I want one my love… one kiss please my heart. I love you so much Ana) **He whispers while trying to bring his lips towards mine. _Oh shit! He's going to try to kiss me! I don't want this._

"Jose no, please" I say while trying to pry myself from out of his arms "I don't want this please." I slur while drunkenly begging him to stop. His efforts are brought to a halt by the sound of a loud voice that is saying

"Hey! What the fuck are you doing?!" before I even realize what's happening I am being ripped away from Jose's arms and there is a lot of screaming going on. This whole time I didn't even really register that it was Logan who has thrown Jose away from me. All I know that he his yelling at Jose and shoving him. Oh shit. I should probably intervene now because I don't want any drama to start because of me.

"Hey! Logan Logan!" I say while trying to get ahold of his shoulder and gain his attention "Stop! Its ok he's drunk. We are all drunk, he doesn't know. Don't get upset. Let's have a good time." When he finally makes eye contact with me the only thing that I can see from his facial expression is rage. Even though I am drunk, I know Logan well… and whatever is about to happen is not going to be good.

"Have a good time? How the hell am I supposed to have a good time when you have been in a completely different place this entire time? How am I supposed to have a good time when the only thing anyone here can ever talk about is Christian Grey? How am I supposed to have a good time when I find my girlfriend of six years out here in the arms of someone else? HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO HAVE A GOOD TIME THEN ANA?!" he screams while getting close to my face. At this point I am backed up against the wall and he is screaming in my face. I know that he would never treat me this way if everything was not so tense and if he was not so drunk.

"Logan… it's not like that. I don't want that." I reply shakenly

"What is it that you want then Ana? Because it seems like you want everybody else but me."

"I… I don't want to talk about this. I don't feel good and I just want to relax for a minute."

"No Ana I want to talk about this NOW! So I need you to start talking." He replies while getting closer towards my face. OH MY GOSH! Today is the actual day form hell.

"Let's talk about this tomorrow when we are sober. Let's get breakfast? Let's go to the Mile High and get breakfast."

"I don't want to talk about it any other time than now. We are talking about this now and then we are going to go home. When we get home I am going to fuck you and remind you of what you are missing." I am shocked! Who the hell is the person that he is becoming. I have no idea about what is going on. Clearly there is no way that I am going to be able to talk any sense into him tonight. I am trying to pry my way out of being against this wall and locked in with Logan.

"Logan please get off of me."

"NO!'

"Logan please get off of me." I reply while trying to pry away from him

"No! You are mine! Right now you need to listen to me and I am going to tell you how this I going to be." Once those words escape his lips I go frigid against the wall that I am currently being pushed against. He can't say that. He can't say those exact words. He can't say those exact words that HE said to me. He can't be like husband number three. He can't do this to me. He's supposed to be my safe place, my person. He can't do this to me. I think that am going to be sick. At this point I am hyper ventilating. I don't even realize that Logan has now been torn away from me until I smell the all too familiar scent of cologne, body wash and Christian. _Christian! _All I can hear is the sound of his voice saying "I believe that the lady said no" aggressively over the sounds of my harsh gasps for air. The person who I am assuming is Christian rushes over to me and asks

"Anastasia are you alright?" _yep that's Christian. Just as formal as always_

I don't even get a chance to reply to him before I am emptying the contents of my stomach all over a pair of designer shoes. The background I can hear a "Dios mio, Ana" coming from Jose and an "Oh great" coming from Logan. Christian grabs my hair and pulls it out of the firing line of vomit and gently leads me over to a raised flowerbed on the edge of the parking lot.

"If you are going to throw up again, do it here. I will hold you."

I shrink away from his touch and say "Only hold my hair please." Before continuing my vomiting. I am not ready for a man to touch me my now. The words of husband number three are still lingering in the back of my mind. _"Right now you need to listen to me and I am going to tell you how this I going to be." He would always say that before he tried to do something to me. Now it's not only the alcohol that's making me sick, but it's also my memories. _By the time I am finally done vomiting, Christian hands me his handkerchief with CTG in fine print. I wipe my face and lean my head up against the wall and close my eyes. _This cannot be happening to me. _When I finally open my eyes, Christian is looking at me intently with so many different emotions. I try and open my mouth to say something to him but I can't seem to get a word past my lips. Our eyes are both connected to each other's in tunnel vision. Clearly we are both trying to figure out what the other is thinking. Fifty is the first to break the silence by saying

"Anastasia are you ok?" I can't even reply I just continue to stare at him. He doesn't know what to say back at first and he just walks towards me and reaches his hand out towards mine and tries to grab my hand. I am still struggling with trying to separate the horrifying images of my childhood with reality and I flinch away from him. When he tried to move closer towards me and my face crunches in fear.

"Ana it's ok, I'm not going to hurt you. I just didn't appreciate you calling me intoxicated and put yourself in a state of danger. I needed to know that you were safe."

"Danger?"

"Yes Ms. Steele, danger. Clearly I was right to assume that when I get here and your idiot of a boyfriend has you cornered against a wall hyperventilating."

"I don't need you to tell me about what happened because that happened to me. I was there. I don't need you to remind me " I reply sharply. I guess I am sobering up quite a bit now that majority of the alcohol has left my system. He runs his hands through his copper locks before saying

"I just needed to come here and see if you are ok and get you somewhere safe." _Great! Now I feel bad because he has tried to come here and be my knight in shining armor._

"I'm sorry." I reply while lowering my head while taking my bottom lip between my teeth.

"What are you sorry for Anastasia?"

"The phone call, mainly. Being sick. Oh and the list is endless."

He nods his head before asking me if it's ok to reach out for my hands again. I give him a curt nod before placing my hand in his. When our hands make contact again I feel that electricity that is always there between us. Both of our eyes shoot up towards one another's as soon as we both can feel it. For a while we just stand still, looking into each other's eyes. Our interaction is broken when he shakes his head and then says "Where is your stuff? We need to get you home."

"We can't go home because I don't want to go home with Logan, and all of my stuff is inside with Kate."

"Well let's go inside and get your stuff so that we can go."

"How do you know where Kate is?"

"She is inside talking to my brother Elliott."

"Elliott? I know Elliott, they sat and talked while he and I were trying to talk about business together."

"Yeah, that sounds like him. Well they are inside talking so we are going to go inside and get your stuff and get you home."

As we are starting to make our way towards the inside of the bar and I suddenly get curious… how the hell did he find me. We continue to keep trucking towards the entrance of the bar I ask "Christian?"

"Yes Anastasia?"

"How did you find me?"

"I tracked your cellphone." He replies calmly before opening the front door to the bar. _How can he say something like that and make it sound as if it were no big deal? This was a big deal! At the same time I remember who I am dealing with. Of course the control freak tracked my cellphone. How is that possible? How is that even legal? What a stalker my subconscious sneers._

We continue to walk into the bar and we automatically spot Kate and Elliott grinding like animals on the dancefloor. In all honesty it was about time that the two of them got together. I knew it was bound to happen the day that we went out for lunch together. Christian and I are making my way towards Kate and I still haven't seen Jose or Logan since Christian helped me outside. We finally make it towards Kate and Elliott and Christian starts telling Elliot about how he is going to help get me home and to make sure that he gets Kate home safely. The four of us make our way towards the table with our belongings and grab my things. I turn to look at Christian and nod my head towards the door so that we can try and get the hell out of here. I just want to put an end to this horrible evening. He looks at me sternly before walking us both towards the bar and sternly asks for a glass of water. He hands me the glass of water and tells me "drink." I roll my eyes at his bossiness and start to take a couple small sips of the water. I set the glass down on the table before asking him

"Happy now?"

"Drink." He orders again. I look at him in a really confused way before he then says "All of it."

Of course the control freak is still once again me around. He can be so overbearing at times. He runs his hands through his beautiful hair again and sighs frustratingly. What is his problem? Besides the fact that a silly girl drunkenly called him in the middle of the night. I know that I called him, but I didn't think he was actually going to come and fetch me from a bar. I did not ask for this. I didn't want him to come here and save me from my troubles. I just wanted to know why he sent me those outrageously expensive books. I didn't want all of this I just wanted answers. My internal thinking is broken when I feel his hand pulling mine again. We are about to walk towards the exit of the bar when a song I love comes on. The sound of the bass and the beat moves me. I automatically start to bob my head to the sound of the song. He looks at me and raises an eyebrow at me questioningly.

"I am assuming that you like this song?" he says

"Very much actually."

"What's the name of this song?"

"Do I Wanna Know by the Arctic Monkeys" He nods his head at me and tries to continue to make his way towards the exit of the bar. I grab his hand and try and pull him closer to me before whispering "Dance with me." His eyes are looking at me questioningly wondering if he should actually give in, as if he is continuing to question wither or not if he is going to dance with me when. That's when the first words of the song start.

_Have you got color in your cheeks?_

I tug his hands once more and say c'mon before starting to drag him towards the dancefloor. I grab his hands and look into his eyes and I can see his sense of reluctance but under the cool colored strobe lights I can also tell that he is amused. As we continue to look at each other. The rest of the song continued to play.

_Do you ever get that fear that you can't shift_

_The type that sticks around like something in your teeth?_

_Are there some aces up your sleeve?_

_Have you no idea that you're in deep?_

_I dreamt about you nearly every night this week_

By this point I am moving my hips and I have my arms in the air swaying from side to side. He steps closer towards me but this time I don't shrink away. My paranoia about husband number three and Logan are long forgotten. At this point I am not afraid. He is looking at me intently and I am giving him the same exact look that he is giving me. Christian makes me forget. He makes me forget everything. The rest of the song continues to play and I am getting lost in the music. It's intoxicating.

_How many secrets can you keep?_

_'Cause there's this tune I found that makes me think of you somehow and I play it on repeat_

_Until I fall asleep_

_Spilling drinks on my settee_

_(Do I wanna know)_

_If this feeling flows both ways?_

_(Sad to see you go)_

_Was sort of hoping that you'd stay_

_(Baby we both know)_

_That the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can't say tomorrow day_

_Crawling back to you_

_Ever thought of calling when you've had a few?_

_'Cause I always do_

_Maybe I'm too busy being yours to fall for somebody new_

_Now I've thought it through_

_Crawling back to you_

_So have you got the guts?_

_Been wondering if your heart's still open and if so I wanna know what time it shuts_

_Simmer down and pucker up_

_I'm sorry to interrupt. It's just I'm constantly on the cusp of trying to kiss you_

_I don't know if you feel the same as I do_

_But we could be together if you wanted to_

Before the chorus kicks in for the second time he takes my hand and spins me around and pulls my back towards his front. I continue to move my hips along to the chorus and the rest of the song.

_(Do I wanna know?)_

_If this feeling flows both ways?_

_(Sad to see you go)_

_Was sort of hoping that you'd stay_

_(Baby we both know)_

_That the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can't say tomorrow day_

_Crawling back to you (crawling back to you)_

_Ever thought of calling when you've had a few? (you've had a few)_

_'Cause I always do ('cause I always do)_

_Maybe I'm too (maybe I'm too busy) busy being yours to fall for somebody new_

_Now I've thought it through_

_Crawling back to you_

At this point I am completely surrounded by all things Christian. I can smell him, he's so close to me that I can almost taste him, and lord knows that I can feel him. I can feel his very impressive erection pressed against my behind. _Oh my god this man is blessed! _I continue to grind my lower body into his. He closes his arms around my mid-section and pulls me closer to him. I then feel his ragged breath against my ear before he whispers my name in an exasperated breath.

_(Do I wanna know?)_

_If this feeling flows both ways?_

_(Sad to see you go)_

_Was sort of hoping that you'd stay_

_(Baby we both know)_

_That the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can't say tomorrow day_

He then takes one of my small hands that he is holding and spins me so that I am facing his front and looks deeply into my eyes. All I know is that this man wants me in some way and that I also really want this man. For reasons that I myself cannot even understand I still feel guilty. I already know that I am going to break up with him. Even after tonight and his drunken rage there are still parts of me that love him. I honestly think that there are parts of me that always will. I know that I am so stupid for thinking about Logan that way that I have been but you can't just erase six years. You also can't erase all of the bad things that have happened which is why I am breaking up with him. I shake my head to try and rid myself of the thoughts of Logan and move my eyes back to Christians. I know I want him. It may take me a while to get there but I know that I want him. Christian nuzzles his head into my neck and whispers my name into my ears like a prayer. The way he says his name catches me completely off guard and suck in a gasp of air and close my eyes contently.

_(Do I wanna know?)_

_Too busy being yours to fall_

_(Sad to see you go)_

_Ever thought of calling darling?_

_(Do I wanna know?)_

_Do you want me crawling back to you?_

The song finally ends and we both start to separate from the closeness and comfort of one another and look into each other's eyes. He continues to look into my eyes as if he is trying to search for something. He then runs his beautiful hands over that gorgeous face of his before he then grabs my hand to move me away from the dance floor and says "Let's go" before we make our way out of the bar. We finally make it outside of the bar and walk towards the curb. He then pulls out a set of keys and clicks open his beautiful Audi R8. He opens the passenger side door for me, just as a gentleman would and waits for me to enter before he then closes the door. He gets inside and starts the engine and starts to drive. It's now that I realize that I am actually very tired.

"Where are we going?"

"To the Heathman. I have a room there and its close." He says before darkness consumes me.


	15. Chapter 15: On Your Mark

***I do not own the rights to the characters, all rights to the characters belongs to E.L James***

**AN: Hello all **** thank you very much for all of the reviews! I really do love hearing from you all, it makes my day. It's crazy to me that this store has over 16,000 views! I just wanted to let you all know that I really do appreciate you all and that I hope that the story is going well. I am really trying to move the story along for you all. There are a few things that have to happen in order to get there but please stay with me! Speaking of moving the story along, my birthday is tomorrow so I am going to be doing a lot of celebrating over this week and weekend, so I am going to try and get some chapters out for y'all but I can make no promises. I promise I won't be gone longer than this week if I don't end up posting. This chapter is a little of 5,000 words so hopefully that can keep you all satisfied until the next update. Please continue to review! And if you all are curious the Pinterest page is alysha louis but all together. Fanfic is picky with what they let go through. Keep reading and reviewing. I really do love you all. Thanks for everything and see y'all soon!**

**Alysha!**

Chapter 15: On Your Mark

When I wake up it is very quiet. Maybe a little too quiet for my liking. When I actually open my eyes up enough to get adjusted to the room I realize that I am not somewhere that I recognize. _Where the hell am I? _I am looking around this extremely large hotel suite trying to figure out where I am. I start to look around the suite while still sitting in bed and I see a suit jacket sitting on the back of a cream colored chair. I keep looking around the suite and I also see a pair of really dirty Italian shoes. Why the hell are those shoes really dirty? SHIT! That's when I remember that I threw up on Christian last night. He came to the bar and helped pry Logan away from me after the whole situation between him and Jose. Oh God, last night was such a mess. I am trying to remember what else happened that night and the image of me grinding against Christian comes back to my mind. Oh God, we danced to Do I Wanna Know. I wonder what he thought. Did he like it? Was I ok? I run my hands over my face and I look down at my lap and I now notice that I am not wearing the same outfit from last night. I am in a large white t-shirt, no bra, and my plain light blue panties. I bring the hem of the shirt towards my nostrils and when the intoxicating smell invades my nose I can only think of one thing: Christian. Although I can admit that I do often enjoy being encased in all things Christian I am starting to panic thinking about what happened last night. Did we do anything? Did I try and do anything to him? Did things get better or worse after we left the bar? My thoughts are interrupted by the sound of the door clicking open. In comes Christian looking absolutely edible. He is wearing a plain dark gray sweat shirt, black sweats that hang off his hips in just the right way, and running shoes. Sweat is dripping down the sides of his face and is rolling down his chin towards his mid-section. The sight of him like this is also too much for me to bare, I can't help but lick my lips at the sight of him. I take a deep breath and close my eyes and try to control myself. I feel like a twelve year old girl.

"Good morning Anastasia. How are you feeling this morning?"

"Better than I deserve." I mumble back

I look back up at him and he places a large shopping bag on the same chair where his suit jacket is. He grabs a towel that is hanging from his neck on both ends and stares at me with a much clouded expression. For a while he just continues to look at me before I notice is jaw start to tighten. I clear my throat and then ask the question that I've been dying to know.

"How did I get here last night? And where exactly is here?"

He sits down towards the edge of the bed. He is close enough for me to touch, for me to smell. Oh my gosh. I thought that Christian in a suit looked good, but Christian drenched in sweat is an entirely different experience.

"After you fell asleep in the car I didn't want to risk having to leave you by yourself just in case you got sick again. I know that you are staying at the Fairmont, but that is so far away so I decided to just bring you here to the Heathman."

"Did you put me to bed?"

"Yes" he replies impassively

"Did I actually end up throwing up again?"

"No."

I stare at him for a moment before asking one of the questions that I am dreading "Did you undress me?"

"Yes." He replies shortly while raising his eyebrow at me. My entire face heats up at his omission.

"We didn't… have sex or anything right?" I ask. Then his playful and flirtatious facial expression is quickly forgotten and replaced with a hard one.

"Anastasia, you were comatose. Necrophilia is not my thing. I like my women sentient and receptive." He replies before his eyes start to turn into a smothering grey that's almost black.

"I'm sorry…" I say while lowering my gaze towards my fingers that are dancing in my lap. I feel his hands move onto my chin and lift my face to meet his gaze.

"It was a very diverting evening. I probably won't be forgetting it for quite a while." He says while searching my eyes.

"Well this night from hell didn't have to happen the way it did if you didn't go all secret service, inspector gadget on me and track me down at a bar."

"First of all tracking services can be found by simply using google. Second, you needed my help more than you realize. Your ass of a boyfriend had you cornered against a wall while you were hyperventilating. Does that sound like a good outcome to you? If I wasn't there, Lord knows what could've happened to you."

"I was handling it! Eventually he would've snapped out of it and I would've been fine. I can handle myself. You act as if I am your responsibility! I am not yours."

He snickers at my response. Before I know it he has reached over, grabbed me from my underarms and has flipped me so that I now I am sitting in his lap facing him. Both of my legs are astride of his and I can feel his impressive length on my center. I suck in a ragged breath, lean my forehead to rest against his and close my eyes. Instinctively I roll my hips against his to try and gain that friction that I crave. Christian groans in response to my sudden movements, and my breaths are coming out even harsher than they were before. At the sound of Christian clearing his throat and open my eyes and find that I a met with smothering grey. He grabs my face between his extremely large hands and says

"Anastasia, if you were mine you would not be able to sit down correctly for a week." My eyes widen at his response and my face heats up. _I wouldn't be able to sit down for a week? What is that even supposed to mean? Was that a threat? _I am looking questioningly at him and he drops his hands from my face. He brushes his hands through his unruly copper locks before he then sighs and lifts me off his laps. He turns his back towards me and walks towards the living room and says "Breakfast is going to be ready soon. The bag on the chair has some items for you to change into and you can go ahead and take a shower." As so has he's done ordering me around, once again, he closes the door and moves into the living room. After he shuts the door I flop down onto the bed and just stare at the ceiling eyes wide. _Christian Grey is going to be the death of me. I think that we are clearly attracted to each other but knowing fifty he is going to try to find some way to put distance between the two of us. I am not really sure what I hope to gain from this whole thing but in the end I know that I want to have Christian. I want to get to know him more and try to spend more time with him. _My thoughts are interrupted by the pinging of my phone. I reach over towards the nightstand and gather my cellphone and unlock it. I go to my text messages and see that I have multiple texts from Logan. I automatically roll my eyes. I go to open the text messages and they all say:

*Ana, I am really sorry about last night can we please talk about this?*

*Babe… I really want to make this right can you please answer my texts?*

*Can we go out and chat about this over lunch?* _Oh now he wants to talk? My subconscious snaps while crossing her arms. _

*I want to meet up? Can you meet me at 11:30 at the Mile High? I really want to talk and apologize properly…. I love you soo much baby*

I drop my phone on my chest and let out a frustrated sigh. I really don't feel like dealing with Logan and his shit today but at this point I just need to rip the Band-Aid off. It is obvious that the both of us are clearly not happy together and after last night I know I am making the right choice. I can't be with someone who wants to be two different people to me depending on the circumstance. I don't want to feel like I am being put on the backburner and I don't want to feel like my relationship is being forced either. I know that there are parts of me that will always love him but after everything I think it's best that I just let this go. I pick up my phone for the second time and send Logan back a reply that says:

*I agree, we need to talk. I will see you at the Mile High at 11:30"

I get up from the bed, plug in my phone, and grab the bag of clothes that is sitting on the chair and go into the bathroom. I turn on the shower and start to bathe myself and get ready for this sit down with Logan. After about twenty minutes there is a knock on the door and the sound of Christians voice comes through the door saying "Breakfast is here."

I shout back and "OK!" and try and quickly rinse off. I turn off the shower and dry off my hair with the towel. I take the hair tie that is on my wrist and throw my hair into a messy bun at the top of my head. I dry off the rest of my body and then reach into the bag to get dressed. The first things that I pull out are a light blue and white lace bra and pantie set. I automatically begin to blush at the thought of Christian picking out underwear for me. I look at the tag and realize that he has also managed to get the correct sizing for both the bra and underwear. _How did he do that? _I put on the underwear set and reach into the bag and pull out more clothing items. I empty out the rest of the bag and there is a white and navy stripped t-shirt, navy fitted jeans, and yellow flats. In all honesty the outfit is actually pretty cute, I guess Christian actually has some pretty good taste. _I don't know why I wouldn't expect good taste from a man that dresses like a God every day. _I take a moment to look over my appearance and then exit the bathroom. I walk out into the common area and see that Christian has now lost his shirt and is sitting on the couch spreading cream cheese on a bagel. At first I don't think he has noticed me walk into the room and I just stand there looking at the beautiful man that is Christian Grey. I am broken from my trance by him saying

"Anastasia you look beautiful."

Heat automatically rises to my cheeks and I lower my head in attempt to hide my embarrassment before saying thank you and walking towards the couch.

I finally sit down and gather a plate of fruit and pour myself a glass of orange juice. We are both eating in a comfortable silence for about 10 minutes before he asks

"How did you sleep last night?"

"Well and yourself?"

"The same oddly… it was a strange occurrence for me."

"What sleeping well?"

"Well yes but also sharing a bed with someone."

I set down the glass of orange juice that I previously had raised to my lips and ask, "Why is that strange?"

He replies "I don't share beds with people?"

"What do you mean haven't you slept with anyone?"

"That seems like a very personal question to ask Anastasia."

"For the millionth time it's just Ana, and isn't it quite personal to rescue someone form a bar and then share a bed with them? Because I believe it is and since that did actually happen, I believe that I should be able to ask you some personal questions… don't you think?"

"Normally, I don't subject myself to such personal questions which is why I don't engage in friendships."

"Well isn't that just unfortunate seeing how we are going to be great friends aren't we?" I reply while giving him a sarcastic side smile and continue to pick at my fruit salad.

He nods his head at me in return and murmurs "Fair point as always Ms. Steele." We are both eating in a comforting silence when I decide to ask him about his plans for the day.

"Well I am actually going to meet up with an old friend for lunch today at around 12."

"Oh that sounds nice."

"What are you doing for the rest of this evening?"

"I am actually going to meet up with Logan at around 11:30, which I actually need to start leaving for now." I say while sipping the last of my orange juice. I raise my head up to meet his gaze and he is looking at me intensely. _Why is he looking at me all weird? _Before he can say anything I raise my eyebrow to him and ask "Did I say something wrong?"

"Well not necessarily that you did anything wrong… I am just trying to figure out why the fuck you would want to go out with your crazy ass boyfriend. He had you cornered against a wall while screaming in your face. I don't know what would possess you to think that seeing him would be a great idea." He replies sharply at me. _What the hell is his problem?_

"I am actually meeting with him today because I want to break things off with him officially, thank you very much. I didn't know that I would need to seek your approval to converse with someone, who mind you, I am actually dating currently."

"You are going to break up with him?" _Is that seriously all that he was able to gather from all that I just said?_

"Yes… today at 11:30… which is why I need to get going now so I am going to catch a cab…"

"No! Taylor can take you to wherever you need to go."

"Honestly it's no trouble, I may have to make more than one stop anyway so that I can take out money to repay you for these clothes."

"Anastasia you are not going to do anything of that sort. Taylor will drop you off to wherever you need to go and you will not pay me back for the clothes. That was honestly nothing and if I am the friend that you say that I am then that means that I can take care of you. In order to take care of you I needed to buy you clothes. So forget about it." He replies while giving me his beautiful sarcastic smirk _what an ass. _

I let out an exasperated sigh before nodding my head and saying "Ok Christian, whatever you say. Honestly thank you so much for everything. As much as I hate to admit it, I probably really needed you last night. I'm actually quite surprised that you haven't kicked my ass for prying into your life so much." I say with a giggle "Well… now I feel like I am just rambling. All that I wanted to say was thank you" I then lean in towards his face and grab the left side of his cheek before whispering "Thank you" and placing a light kiss on the side of his cheek. When I pull away his eyes have returned to that smothering grey color. I remove his hand from the side of his face and I've his hand a tight squeeze before saying "Goodbye Christian." And walk towards the dorm of the hotel room and try and make my way towards the Mile High.

* * *

><p>This is so incredibly awkward. I know exactly what I came here to do yet it is so hard to let the inevitable words flow from my lips. Logan and I are both avoiding the conversation and paying close attention to our meals. I am fidgeting along with my fruit salad and he is twirling his fork along his plate while staring at me with emotions that I myself cannot even place. <em>C'mon Ana! You dragged your ass all the way out here just do it! You can't keep pussy footing around the situation. It's time that you get what you want. <em>I take a deep breath before saying "We really need to talk about things"

He places he fork down on his plate, places his hands on the table and crosses his fingers before saying "Yes I think we do."

"Logan I think we need to talk about…"

"I'm sorry!" he blurts out. _Well I figured you would be, but that does change anything _"Last night was completely not called for and you didn't deserve that. I got a lot more physical than I expected… I.. I, I don't even know what happened last night. You know how much I love you, I would never hurt you on purpose."

"On purpose or not you still did. Whether or not you meant to or not does not change that fact that you did indeed hurt me. What's sad is that you think that last night was the only thing that you have done to hurt me. Every time something happens, you just expect me to lie down and take it and I'm sorry but I refuse to do that."

"I know Ana… I know that I have really messed up sooooo much lately, but I am trying to get better. It's just hard to try and get better when you aren't even there to see the change. It seems like all we do is fight…"

"The reason that we continue to fight all the time is because you refuse to take responsibility for your actions!"

"Ana what do you mean?! Every time something happens I say sorry and I try and do something to make up for it. We went on our special date, I got you a dog, and I tried to plan an outing….. What else can I do to make it up to you?"

_This is why we are breaking up. He can never see the problem. _I frustratingly rub my hands over my face before replying "Well you see… that is exactly the point. You think that sorry and some sort of a gift will cover it every time and it never does. You can't buy me out. My love for you cannot me purchased."

"Honestly Ana I don't even know where to go from here? I am really trying for you because I love you."

"I don't think you love me. I just think that you are comfortable with me and that you tolerate me."

His face morphs into one of anger as soon as the words leave my lips. "I don't love you? What the fuck are you talking about Ana!"

_Well you already let the cat out of the bag so you might as well just go all the way towards the finish line. My subconscious is waving the checkered patterned flags ready to scream ON YOUR MARKS GET SET GO. She's patiently waiting to see who finishes first. _"I said that I don't think that you love me… anymore that is. I think that you just tolerate me because you are comfortable. I think that we are just hanging on to what is left of our relationship because we have gotten comfortable."

"Wait wait wait! WE?! Where the hell is this shit coming from? I am not comfortable and we have been together for six years and now you are trying to tell me that we don't love each other?! Are you sure that it's just you that doesn't love me? We fight and fight and fight and then you fucking leave to a hotel and then last night fucking Christian Grey is showing up to saving the fucking day like he thinks he's superman or some shit. Are you sure it isn't just you that doesn't love me? Because it seems like you are the only person in this relationship that doesn't give a fucking shit about us!" he says while slamming his fist down on the table. _Well this is just going downhill quickly._

"Well maybe you are right. Maybe I don't love you anymore. Maybe I have come to realize that my love for you may just exist in the fact that I love the idea of us working out. I would love to be able to say that we made it for six years, and that we would get married happily ever after, eventually make bank and have beautiful children. I would love to be able to say that, but it's simply just not true. You let your parents berate me for the lifestyle that I want to live. You basically use me for sex sometimes, and then let us not forget about the lovely Rene who has a great time with you on the weekend. We are not shits and giggles Logan… We are nothing like the beautiful picture that we try to paint in our minds because it's not reality Logan. Reality is that we are moving apart from each other. We want different things. The beautiful picture simply does not exist. I am looking for that picture in realty Logan…. I just don't think that I can find that reality with you." I say while looking at him sheepishly. Not matter how this turns out I would never want to hurt him purposefully. I just need more… I need something different and for so long I have just gone with the flow, but for once I want to be selfish. I want to do something because I want to and not because of him. He just sits there with his head in his hands for a while before looking at me with a pained expression before replying in a whispering tone "What are you trying to say right now Ana."

I just look at the face that I use to think I would want to see for the rest of my life before saying "I think that we need to let each other go Logan."

His jaw drops and shock and that once pained expression is now gone and is masked with one that resembles the same rage that I saw last night at the bar. This time I am smart enough to know that I should not hang around for this shit. The minute I see things start to get out of hand, I am getting the hell out of here.

"You want to break up?"

"Yes." _Here we go… moment of truth. _I am shocked still by his response. Logan sits in front of me cackling like a hyena. People in the restaurant are beginning to stare at us. _Shit this is embarrassing! _I slap that side of his arm to grab his attention "Logan." _Nothing _"Logan, stop…. People are starting to stare."

"You think I give a shit about if these people are staring at us right now Ana? Do you really think I give a shit about what anyone else thinks of you, me or this shitty situation? And to be completely honest to do think that I really give a shit about what you think or have to say?" _This would be a god time to pick up your stuff and start leaving Ana, my subconscious snaps while waving her arms at me, trying to grasp my attention. _I am so shocked by his outburst that I cannot even get myself to move from the seat the butt is currently planted in. Logan takes a sip of his water and laughs a little before continuing his rant.

"You really are a piece of work Ana. You think this world revolves around you and that you are so important but NEWSFLASH sweetheart it doesn't. I've done you such a favor by loving you. I've stayed with you and all of your baggage for years! Everyone has been telling me to let you go but I kept you around to keep you happy. All you care about is work, books, and Ray. You are terrible in bed, boring and I've honestly had better ass than you." _This is definitely when you need to be leaving _"That's why I cheated on you then… and that's why I am cheating on you now. Rene knows how to fuck. She can suck my dick so good that I am cumming in a matter of seconds. You are nothing. You are a waste of air, I apologize to myself for having to have dated you, fucked you, slept with you and honestly I wasted so much of my time. So if you want to go, please over my dead body, Anastasia walk away. I dare you to. You've been my bitch for years." At this point my common sense has finally registered back to me. He did it… I actually cheated on me again! I was nothing! I want to reply, I want to reach across this table and rip his throat out but I cannot even find a set of words that can actually make it past my lips. I reach for my purpose from the back of my chair, grab my phone form on top of the table, stand up and start to walk away. As I make my way towards the elevator I can still hear Logan shouting from behind me "DID YOU REALLY THINK IT WAS JUST YOU ANA? HOW DOES IT FEEL TO KNOW THAT EVERYTIME THAT I WAS INSIDE OF YOU I WAS INSIDE OF HER FIRST." I lower my head and speed walk through tables trying to rid myself of this undying embarrassment. Who the hell is he? What the hell has happened to him? So many different things are running through my head right now that I am at a lost. I don't even register that I am crying until I bump into a mess in front of me and a waiter that stands in front of me offers me a napkin to wipe my face. I take the napkin and continue to make my way out the restaurant. I cannot believe him. In the back of my mind I thought something was happening… but to think that I was literally nothing but a waste of air to him has me feeling sick. I think that ever time that he has touched me, kissed me, had sex with me, slept next to me; he was with her first is beyond what I ever could have thought. I feel mad, sad, devastated, yet relieved all into one. I am finally free of the chains that Logan has had wrapped around me for our entire relationship.

I finally make it towards the elevator and I am pressing the down button for the elevator like a mad woman. It feels like it's taking an eternity for the elevator to finally be called, at this point I am ready to just take the stairs. I am about to walk towards the staircase when I feel an alarming amount of electricity flowing through my body _oh no. _I hear footsteps start to make their way towards me before I am greeted by the sound of his beautiful voice "Anastasia?" _Shit! I really don't want him to see me like this. I know the questions will be endless once he sees my makeup and tear stained face. _I reluctantly turn around and I am greeted with worried grey orbs. _Christian. _I want to say something, anything really, but what feels like for the millionth time today I am utterly speechless. Christian is studying my face trying to find answers to explain my distraught character. He pulls my hand into his and asks,

"What happened? Why are you crying?"

I still, shocked and speechless. All I can manage to do is stare at that beautiful face of his. I am looking at him pleading with him to put an end to his inquisition. He is able to read my facial expression and just asks

"What would you like me to do Ana?"

Finally words have found their way back to me. I reply with "Take me away from here. Anywhere just please away from here."

I don't even have to wait for his reply before he is calling the elevator up to take us away from this very shitty situation. Unlike last time, the elevator makes a quick appearance. We both step inside and he presses the button for the lobby. We both stand in silence for a moment before he says,

"So I take it that you met with that boyfriend of yours." He spits out the word boyfriend and locks his jaw so tight, I am afraid that it just may fall off from all of the pressure.

I awkwardly clear my throat before saying "Ex-Boyfriend as of today."

His face snaps to mine before he says "You broke up with him?!"

I barely finish the words yes before his he says "Thank fuck!" in a relieved voice and his body is smothering mine. Christian has my hands locked above my head, and his hips planted firmly to mine, and his mouth is searching mine with grave need and urgency.


	16. Chapter 16:Electric Feels

***I do not own the rights to the characters, the rights to the characters belong to E.L James***

**AN: Hello everyone, thank you for being patient with me. I really had a bad case of writers block for this chapter. I was hoping to at least give you all something. I am going to try and map out the next couple chapters so that they can be better. Sorry about the delay, thank you all for sticking with me. Please review. I hope to get another chapter in to you all soon. If I continue to dislike this one I will repost a newer one with changes.**

**Alysha**

Chapter 16: Electric Feels

Holy shit.

I am kissing Christian Grey.

How did I ever get so lucky to be blessed with this kind of fortune? I recall the many times that I have admired his beautifully sculpted lips from a distance. Never in my mind did I really think that they would feel this good or that I would ever have the pleasure of experiencing their talent first hand. Kissing Christian is like an out of this world experience. To be honest. It's completely consuming. I call feel him everywhere, hovering and capturing every inch of my body. His hands have mind pinned tightly about my head, his hips are pushing against mine; pressing me back against the elevator door. I can feel his very impressive erection standing tall and alert against my mind section. _Oh my God he's huge! _What makes the experience of kissing him so intense does end at just the physical level. I can smell him, taste him, feel him and breathe in all things Christian. What's even worse is that it feels like my body is tingling all over. I thought that the electric feeling of him just being near me was overwhelming, boy was I wrong. This entire elevator is ringing with the electricity between the two of its. It's completely chemical, no matter how many times I have tried to understand the vibes between the two of us I can never come close to an answer.

His tongue sweeps across my bottom lip, asking for entrance to explore my mouth. I reply to his silent request my parting my lips, allowing him to invade my mount fully. Between the two of us, our tongues are dancing a beautiful and sensual dance. He pulls his lips away from mine, and his grip on my hands loosens briefly before I feel one of his hands grasps my tiny delicate hands in his. When we both open our eyes to look at each other I realize that we are both panting heavily. He brings the hand that is holding both of mind to rest on his over back. He then brings his empty hands to the small of my back and pushes my hips further into his, creating a brief amount of friction. I moan escapes my lips from that amount of friction while a throaty groan escapes his. _He feels so good. _I am half expecting his lips to come back towards mine, but instead he dips his head towards the hallow of my neck and begins to coat me in kisses. I roll my head towards the side welcoming his sweet pecks. I close my eyes trying to savor the moment. _This is really happening. He is really kissing me right now. _

Part of it feel completely normal. The other part feels completely foreign. Today I ended my six year relationship with another guy, yet here I am receiving neck kisses from another guy. I am actually pretty conflicted. There is an internal debating brewing within me on wither to be sad because the reality of my flawed relationship has been brought to life; or if I should be rejoicing in the fact that Christian really does want me. Though my actions are clearly displaying the latter. I am so enthralled in Christian that I almost miss the elevator dinging, alerting us that we have reached a new floor. The two of us separate hastily. I am leaning back against the elevator wall, panting. I look over at Christian to see if he is just as effect as I am, to only see that he is just as stoic and cool as ever. _How the hell does we do that? We were making out in the elevator, grunting and moaning like horny teenagers. _The elevator door open and five men in business suits enter the elevator. Once they walk into the elevator, they continue their conversation as normal and I turn towards Christian to talk

"Well that was nice…" I say while blushing

He chuckles a bit before replying "Sure was."

I giggle back in response, shaking my head at the very heated memory of us in this elevator. It's crazy to me how much time can change things. About three minutes ago the two of us were in here tongue deep down each other's throats, and now we are both standing here trying to pretend like it never happened. I wonder what the rest of the day is going to be like… all I wanted to do is get out of here and it is just my luck that I end up running into Christian on the way out. Wait! How the hell did he know I was here? Was he stalking me?

"Christian… how did you know where I was?"

Before he could even part his lips to answer my question, the all too familiar sound of the elevator has rung again. He strolls out of the elevator gracefully and walk towards the exit.

"Christian?"

"I didn't know that you were here." He replies sharply

"Then why were you here then?"

"Because I was going to have lunch here with a friend, but I ended up running into you on my way out of the elevator."

"I didn't mean to disturb you, if you need to go and meet with your friend then I can get home by myself."

"Anastasia, you were a mess when I found you upstairs. There is no way in hell that I am going to leave you by yourself to figure all of this out." He replies before walking towards his Audi R8 and opening the passenger door for me. I look at him questioningly, standing still before asking

"Are you sure that you want to do this? I mean I am fine now… more than fine actually." I blush while saying this, remembering our passionate moment in the elevator. "You really don't have to do this… I didn't mean to interrupt your day."

"Anastasia, can you please just get in the car? I already told you that I am not leaving you alone like this so you might as well just come with me."

I sign before whispering ok, and then I sit in the passenger seat. Christian closed the door after me and walks towards the driver's side of the car. When he is finally seating he sits down for about thirty seconds and runs his hands through his copper locks, letting out an exasperated sigh. He puts the key in the ignition, turns it and the car roars, sounding its coming to life. He pulls us out of the driveway and turns onto the street.

Since we have been on the road for the last eight minutes he has said absolutely nothing to me. He is such a temperamental man. For a while I thought that this was just going to be a silent car ride, until he says

"Anastasia, what are your plans for the day?"

"Ermm…. Now that I think about it, nothing. What about you?"

"This evening there is a gala at my mother's house… do you like to dance?"

"Um yeah, but I just so happen to be very terrible at dancing."

"Well it's good that you would have me as a dance partner… because I can. We will go together than."

"Woah woah woah, I don't want to impose on your mothers evening with you, and I would also having nothing to wear…. I don't want to go looking subpar and hastily invited… you can drop me home, I promise I will be fine."

"But I want you to come with me." His response surprises me and I look over at him driving. He is grabbing the steering wheel tightly. The car ride is once again growing silent, awaiting my answer.

"Ana?"

"Yes?"

"Come with me… I hate having to talk to all of these people who only speak with me to try and get something from me… I want to be normal for one night." He says while looking at me sadly.

"But you are normal Christian..." I reply while touching his shoulder. When I try to inch downwards towards his arms he flinches with a pained look expression. I swiftly move my hand away from him before saying his name questioningly

"Christian?" he doesn't reply to me calling him and looks like he is trying to recover from his previous facial expression. "Christian are you ok?"

"To answer your first question no Anastasia, I am not normal I am fifty shades of fucked up. You will understand what I mean when I show you. And you have to be careful… I don't like to be touched… you can touch my arms, my shoulders, and face but you cannot touch my back or chest."

"Why do you always have to do that?"

"Do what?"

"Paint yourself out to be the bad guy all the time… are not as bad as you try to make yourself seem."

"You don't know me so how can you say that?"

"Well I guess that you do have a point, but I am getting to know you. So you won't be able to say that soon."

He sighs before saying. "If you say so."

"I won't touch you… but will you tell me why?"

"Not right now."

"Later?"

"Ana I don't know." He replies sharply

"Ok ok ok, jeez. I didn't mean to offend you oh grumpy one."

Hours later, Christian has had a dress delivered against my request. My hair and makeup are done and we are on our way to the gala.


	17. Chapter 17:Coping Together Pt1

***I do not own the rights to the characters and some of the scene play, all rights to the characters and parts of the scene play belong to E.L James***

**AN: Hello all, there are a couple things on the agenda for this authors note.**

**Firstly: I am sorry for the very long delay in posting this chapter. I promise that I have no forgotten about this story. I currently don't have a computer, so I have been using my friends computers and such. It's is not always easy to take theirs all time. I am also currently on spring break so I've been in the airport quite a bit too. So I haven't even been in my dorm to use my friends computers.**

**Secondly: It has recently been brought to my attention that my attempts at explaining the locations have been difficult to understand. That being said I wanted to clarify. I know that the distance between Seattle and Portland are quite the distance away… that being said, Ana had been commuting to Seattle while working for Christian. She has been staying at the Fairmount while she and Logan were having difficulties, meaning that it was closer to her job for her to work. There is also the fact that now that she and Logan are broken up, she will not be living is Portland anymore. In past chapters she has stated a couple of times that she wants to move from Portland to Seattle, and she is going to do that in future chapters (Quite soon actually). It was also brought to my attention that the Fairmount is quite expensive. Note that her internship at GEH is paid, and she has not been staying there too long, and Logan comes from relatively wealthy background. Hopefully that will help clarify for anyone that is having trouble. I will try to get better with my positioning, and make sure that I no longer am confusing. I have to get better with research.**

**Thirdly: I currently still don't have a Beta and I am working on getting a new one still. I am really going to try and lock down on my grammar and such so that the story is easier to read. Please stick with me while I try to figure this out. I hope that this aspect does not turn you all off from my story entirely.**

**Lastly: Thank you all for Reviewing, reading, following, and favoring my story. I really do appreciate the support. I hope that this authors note did not come off as aggressive, because it was not meant to be in the slightest. I don't mind too much criticism, I want to make this story interesting and enjoyable to read. In that, I have to make sure that I am improving as a writer and I hope to achieve that as time goes on. I do appreciate all forms of support. Please do keep on reading, reviewing and PMing me with any questions or concerns that you may have. I also hope to go through past chapters and edit them, so that the story can run smother. Thanks for everything! And I hope to have another chapter up for you all real soon.**

** Quick side note: the outfits for this chapter are posted on my pinterest page, which is the at sigh and alysha louis all together. The board is under the title of the story.**

**Much love,**

**Alysha**

Chapter 17: Coping Together Pt.1

I am really nervous. When I told Christian that I just needed to get away from the Mile High restaurant, I did not think that he was going to take me to a gala. The majority of our time earlier was spend debating. I didn't want to intrude on his day, he argued that I wasn't. I didn't think I should go to the gala, he thought that I should. I told him that I had nothing to wear, he said he would buy me something. I told him that I don't want him to pay for a dress, a dress was delivered by 3:30... The day, thus far, has been a series of debates and all of these small debates have lead us to now.

Now I can barely recognize myself in this fire engine, red laced, mermaid fit gown. I thought that I had won the argument about him not buying me anything to wear for the gala. Yet, at three thirty a clothing bag was delivered to his apartment, Escala, and when I opened it I came across a very beautiful gown. The gown is a very vibrant red, with lace that runs over the top of my cleavage, down the low "v" on my back, and covers my arms. The gown is made from Chiffon, and its mermaid styled; it hugs all of my curves to a tee. I have to admit that this dress is absolutely stunning, I never would've picked it out for myself. What surprised me even more is that Christian did, because he does not seem like the kind of man that really admires many colors. Based off his apartment, office and car choices; I wouldn't see red on his list of favorite colors. I am also wearing a pair of sparklie Christian Louboutin peep toe heels. When I opened the shoe box I swear I almost passed out. I have seen these shoes in the department stores when I am going shopping, but never in my life did I ever think that I would ever actually own a pair. I should've know that when Christian is involved, there will only ever be designer names. I try and dress semi-fashionable, but still cost effective. I am pretty sure that his entire wardrobe probably amounts to three months of rent at my old apartment.

Thinking about my old apartment reminds me of why I am even going to this gala in the first place. I just broke up with Logan. After what I learned today I am especially happy that we broke up, but this just makes me wonder about many things. I am curious about how I am going to move all of my things out of the apartment. I am curious about how long he had been sleeping with her. Are they officially together now? What am I going to do about the dog? Where am I going to live? So many things are just up in the air right now. Something that I am really curious about is where I want to go as far as Christian is concerned. There is obviously something between us that we both just can't seem to ignore, but do I really want to jump into something else; having just left something so complicated? I know that Logan and Christian are two different people, but that also means that they are two different kinds of complicated. Christian is dark, complicated, controlling, passionate, intelligent, and so much more. I use to think that Logan was passionate, loving, caring, kind, smart and driven; but all of that has been tainted by this new persona that he has adopted. Before I thought there was an ounce of a possibility that he and I could remain friends; but after his outburst at brunch I have strongly rethought that idea. I don't know that is happening to him. Lately he has been so short tempered, controlling, aggressive, and down right out of control. I cannot have people in my life who just seek to hurt me. In some ways I think that is why I am be apprehensive about Christian... There are parts of him that I don't understand, and that I have not seen yet and I wonder if those parts have the potential to be the parts that would hurt me. He totally rescued me today... But I don't know if that is just him making me see what I want to see.

I am already dressed. My hair is fixed into a low bun, with my bangs gelled to the side. A makeup artist came and worked their magic, keeping my face looking lightly coated; yet natural. I am nervous to go down stairs... I am curious about what he is going to think, what is he going to say, is he going to like it? What I am really worried about is that I am going to fall flat on my face. I don't want to embarrass myself any more than I already have today in front of Christian. I take a couple of deep breathes, and begin to make my way out of one of his guest rooms and down stairs. I continue to make my way down the stairs, step by step. I have my eyes casted downwards at first until I hear a large gasp coming from the bottom of the staircase. I stop where I am standing on the steps and my eyes dart up to find Christian staring at me with his mouth wide open. I go Crimson before asking-

"Do I look ok?" I ask him while looking at him nervously, and in return I get no response.

"Oh God I look terrible don't I? I am going to go change." I feel kind of shitty. A big part of me was really hoping that I could pull this dress off and impress him, but evidently I haven't. Clearly I am not enough…again. I tug my lips between my teeth and begin to make my way back up the stairs, towards the guest bedroom; to change into my old clothes. What was I thinking? Why would I ever believe that for some reason I am enough for him...? I couldn't even do that for someone that I was dating for six years, so what made me thinking that I could do that for someone that I barely know? I keep making my way up the long staircase until I feel a tugging on my elbow. I know that he is trying to turn me around to make eye contact with him, but I can't. I am much too embarrassed to be sharing a moment with him after it is clear that I could not meet his expectations. I keep my head faced away from him, looking up towards the guest room that could serve as a barrier.

"Christian can you please let me go so I could change please?" I say with a shaky voice

"Ana I-" I cut him off before he can even find a good set of excuses for me to listen to.

"I just want to change... Clearly this was not the dress for me and I shouldn't have tricked myself into beveling that I could pull it off. I would really just like to eat some ice cream and have far too many glasses of wine. So if you could please just-"

"WILL YOU LET ME TALK PLEASE!" I automatically shut up at the raising of his voice. I finally bring my eyes to meet his and he runs his hands over his face.

"Anastasia... You looked beautiful. You looked so beautiful that I was shocked into silence. I didn't even know how to respond to your question because you far surpassed my expectations. I didn't mean to make you think otherwise, but you need to stop running." Well I wasn't expecting that. I continue to look at him, blank faced, confused and surprised he liked it?

"You... yo-you liked it?" I ask questioningly

"Yes I did, don't doubt yourself so quickly. When I picked out this dress for you to wear, I knew you would look beautiful in it."

I let out a frustrated sigh. I am being so stupid today. I am letting this whole Logan thing effect my night with Christian. I've been snappy and jumpy all day; I really need to get it together. I run my hands over my face, without damaging my makeup job.

"I'm sorry…" I say in a hushed tone.

"It's ok, let's just go so that I can show you a good time tonight." I smile at him sweetly before saying

"I would really like that."

* * *

><p>We have been in the car for a while now. We have made small talk for about twenty minutes. This entire time I have not actually had a moment to taken in how handsome he actually looks. He is wearing a two-piece black suit, white button down with silver buttons and a black bow tie. To put it simply, he looks gorgeous. I have always wondered how he does it. No matter what he wears, he always manages to look fantastic. I think every woman can honestly say that they appreciate a man in a suit, but that does not compare to Christian Grey in a suit or tux. I am too busy admiring his physique to actually notice that he has now caught me staring at him. He looks at me, raising his eyebrow towards me questioningly, while smirking. He is such a smart ass, he should know that it should be illegal to look the way that he does.<p>

"Penny for your thoughts Ms. Steele." He says sarcastically

"Sorry-" I say before grasping my bottom lip between my teeth nervously "I was just-"

"Staring." He says bluntly

"Well, you would too if you saw someone that looks as good as you do right now." I say boldly. Maybe if I just admit it he won't comment any further. _Boy was I wrong_

"Well I could understand your point … I feel the same way when I am looking at you."

My face flushes the color of a tomato. That was definitely not the response that I thought I was going to get back. I turn my head towards the window, away from the intense gaze of Christian. I can't believe he just said that. Out of the corner of my eye I see him raise his hand towards my face. He holds my face in his muscular hands and turns my face towards him. "Hey…" He says in a hushed tone "Don't hide from me." I turn my eyes towards my freshly manicured fingers that are twirling in my lap. He caresses the side of my face sweetly and almost instinctively I have learned my face into his palm.

"Look at me." He says sternly. I neglect my focus from my hands to his beautiful Grey orbs. "You look beautiful, you look beautiful always. Never doubt yourself, and don't doubt me when I tell you that you are beautiful… ok?"

"Ok" I whisper back. He leans towards me and gives me a chaste kiss on the lips. At first the kiss seemed to be short and sweet, until the kiss takes a heated turn. He brings his lips to mine again for a second time. When I think that he is going to pull away I bravely wrap one of my arms around his neck and bring my lips back to his. He accepts my bold move and brings his hands to my hips to bring us closer. His tongue skims across my bottom lip, requesting entrance to my mouth. I respond to his silent question by opening my mouth to his. We are creating a synchronized rhythm with our tongues, moving as if our lips were made to be pressed against the others. I take my hand that is not wrapped around his neck and press that button that would release the hold of my seatbelt. At the sound of the click, Christian removed his lips away from mine. He looked down at my recently released seatbelt and shook his head.

"Anastasia you need to-." I cut him off by lightly pressing a kiss to his lips before saying.

"Shhhhhh." I move myself carefully to rest myself against him in his lap. I wrap the both of my hands around his neck for the second time and bring my forehead down to rest against his "Trust me." I whisper before pressing my lips back to his. I pull away from him in attempt to read his facial expression. He looks at me for a moment and you can see the debate that he is facing internally. I can see that a part of him really wants to reject my proposal and make me return to the confines of my seatbelt; while the other part of him wants to give in to my tempting persuasion. I bring my lips back to his quickly before he allows the rational part of his mind to win, and dictate his decision. We continue our passionate caresses and kissing until we feel the car come to a stop. At this moment we finally come up for air and realize that we must have made it to our final destination

Now that we are here, I think that it is best that I myself from his lap. Once I am finally positioned back in my original seat, I take a moment to look over at my beautiful fifty. Looking over, I see that he is running his hands over his face. He lets out an exasperated breath and then reaches into his pocket. When his hand reemerges, it now contains a masquerade mask within its hold. He then sets the mask down on the seat and brings his hands to my shoulders to turn me around. Once I am turned around to face the car window, he brings the mask towards my face and secures it behind my head. Looking at my reflection in the car door window; I can see that one half the mask extends down the whole of my face, while the left half of the mask covers the top of my eyelid and my upper forehead. The mask is beautiful. Its simple black leather fabric and lace design makes my piercing blue orbs even more noticeable. I spin my head around to look at Christian. He sits silently looking at me for a moment before the words "Beatuiful." Roll off his striking lips. He then takes out a second simple black masquerade mask, brings it towards his own face, ties it and extends his hand out to me.

"Ready?" He says.

"As ready as I am going to be." I murmur back in response. He opens up the car door, extends his hand out towards me and first thing that I can see is the dark green carpet that turns along the side of the house, leading to extremely impressive grounds that would be known as "Grey Manner". I thought that we were supposed to be going to a gala at his parents' house? This house is more than just your normal house, it's a mansion. At the same time that I am having these thoughts, I don't know why I am so surprised. I should've expected that Christians parents would have the same lavish lifestyle that he does. While thinking about the extravagantness that is his parents' house; Christian puts his arm around me protectively, resting his hand on my waist. We follow up the green carpet towards the extremely fancily dressed guest attending the gala. Two photographers position guests to pose for pictures against the backdrops.

"Mr. Grey!" one of the photographers calls. Christian nods in acknowledgement and pulls me close as we pose quickly for a photo. How do they know it's him? Looking him over, I realize that it's definitely the copper hair.

"Two photographers?" I ask Christian.

"One is from the Seattle Times; the other is for a souvenir. We'll be able to buy a copy later." _Great… that's just what I need… my picture in the press._

After our pictures are taken, we continue to walk towards the entrance of the gala. Right at the end of the pathway, there are servers on each side carrying champagne glasses. We stop in front of the servers and Christian gets the both of us glasses.

We approach a large white pergola hung with smaller versions of the paper lanterns. Beneath it, shines a black and white checkered dance floor surrounded by a low fence with entrances on three sides. At each entrance stand two elaborate ice sculptures of swans. The fourth side of the pergola is occupied by a stage where a string quartet is playing softly, a haunting, ethereal piece I don't recognize. The stage looks set for a big band but as there's no sign of the musicians yet. I figure this must be for later. Taking my hand, Christian leads me between swans onto the dance floor where the other guests are congregating, chatting over glasses of champagne. Toward the shoreline stands an enormous marquee, open on the side nearest to us so I can glimpse the formally arranged tables and chairs. There are so many!

"How many people are coming?" I ask Christian, thrown off by the scale of the marquee.

"I think about three hundred. You'll have to ask my mother." He smiles down at me, and maybe it's because I can only see his smile that lights up his face, but my inner goddess swoons.

"Christian!"

A young woman appears out of the crowd and throws her arms around his neck. I automatically know that the person touching him is Mia. In past conversations, he has expressed to me that she is the only person that he allows to touch him that openly. She's dressed in a sleek, pale pink, full-length chiffon gown with a stunning, delicately detailed Venetian mask to match. She looks amazing. And for a moment, I have never felt so grateful for the dress Christian has given me. At first I thought that she was not going to acknowledge me at all, _boy was I wrong._ Before I even have the chance to prepare myself, a very high pitched squeal is ringing throughout our vicinity.

"OH MY GOD! Who is this?!"

"Christian did you bring home a girl?"

"Oh my God she's a pretty girl?"

"A real, breathing, pretty girl… with nice boobs!-"I flush crimson at her admission. How embarrassing, your boss's sister admires your boobs right in front of him.

"Mia?!" Christian says while raising his voice slightly "You don't need to embarrass her. She has barely been here, and if you keep it up she won't want to come back."

"I'm sorry! I'm just sayin, I wish I had boobs like that_." Oh god this is going to continue to get more embarrassing as the night goes on._ I wrap my hand around his bicep and turn my head inwards, trying to escape the situation I have been put into.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to embarrass you."

"It's too late for that." Christian says under his breath.

"I am so sorry for my terrible manners, what's your name by the way?"

Before I can even reply Christian has already beat me to the punch.

"Mia, this is Anastasia, Anastasia… this is my over bearing sister, Mia."

"Oh hush Christian." She says while hitting the side of his arm playfully "You know you love me. Anyways it's so nice to meet you Anastasia. Christian has never brought a girl home before."

"Mia!" he says in attempt to chastise her.

"What you haven't? I am just stating facts this time. Oh my gosh! Wait until mom sees you, she is going to flip!"

"Great." Christian grumbles. "Anyways Mia, this was fun but I think Ana would like to sit now."

"Oh ok, I will see you at our table. It was very nice to meet you Anastasia."

"It was very nice to meet you too Mia and you can just call me Ana." I reply

"Ok, I will be seeing you later Ana."

Before I can even give my last goodbye, Christian is whisking us away from his sisters never ending stream of questions.

"I'm sorry for that by the way, she can be pretty intrusive." He says apologetically

"Yeah, but it's only because she loves you."

"Yeah I suppose you are right." He says while leading us throughout the party. After walking around and completing many different introductions, the master of ceremonies voice breaks through all over the gala.

"Ladies and gentlemen! Please take your seats. Dinner is served."

Christian takes my hand, and we follow the chattering crowd to the large marquee. The interior is stunning. Three enormous, shallow chandeliers throw rainbow-colored sparkles over the ivory silk lining of the ceiling and walls. There must be at least thirty tables, all wrapped in gossamer silk beside it is a basket of goodies.

Christian consults the seating plan and leads me to a table in the center. Mia is sitting with a gorgeous middle aged woman with mahogany locks, pinned up to perfection and dazzling hazel eyes. As we continue to walk towards the table, we are once again greeted by Mias' enthusiastic squeals. _oh boy._

"How is she so happy and excited all of the time?"

"I ask myself the same question almost every day." Christian replies.

We keep walking towards the table and Mia, along with the middle aged woman get up and start to walk towards us.

"Christian… who is that woman that is walking with your sister?" he looks at me through the corner of his eye and gives me a sarcastic smirk

"That would be my mother." He replies confidently.

I automatically stop walking to digest what he has just told me. His mother?! I am meeting his mother and he didn't even give me some sort of a fair warning? I mean, knew that I was going to meet her at some point seeing how this is her event, but it would've been nice to have some kind of a heads up. I would've liked to mentally prepare myself, but clearly that is not going to happen. I am pulled out of my internal panic by the sound of his elegant voice saying

"Mother, this is Anastasia Steele. Anastasia, this is my mother, Dr. Grace Trevelyan-Grey." _Here we go. I hope that my encounters with his mother go better than the ones that I had with Logans' mother._

"What a pleasure to meet you." She says with in a stunned tone, while offering me her hand. I grasp her hand back and give her a shy smile before saying

"Likewise ,"

"Call me Grace." She says warmly, while grinning.

"eeeeeeeekkkkkk! See mom, I told you that she exists! She's pretty and nice!"

"Mia!" they both of them shout at the same time, equally chastising her for her outburst, while I blush.

"I'm sorry, I can't help it. Christian has never had a girlfriend before and now-"

"She's not my girlfriend." He replies quickly.

This is so awkward. I am trying to look everywhere except for Mia and Graces' face. I see out of the corner of my eye that they are both look at each other, clearly stunned by Christians confession. They both are trying to regain their composure, trying to act as if this whole thing never happened.

This is going to be one hell of an evening.


	18. Chapter 18:Coping Together Pt2

***I do not own the rights to the characters and some of the screen play, the rights to the characters, along with some of the screen play belong to E.L James***

**AN: Hey y'all! Here is the next chapter. Thank you all for the reviews! Please continue to review the story! I have been a little busy which is why the updates have not been very frequent, but I promise will not disappear. Also you can still find the outfits on my Pinterest page. You can search the name of this story or the at sign and alight louis all together. Along with that, Work Song by Hozier is in this chapter. The song is fantastic and you really have to listen to it! Please continue to read and review! Please also PM me about any question or concerns, or even just casual chatter. All support it welcome. I hope that y'all are all doing alright, and I hope to see you soon :)**

**Much much love,**

**Alysha**

**SN: I am also a fan of the Divergent Series and I saw insurgent on the premiere night... I would just like to say that they completely went the opposite direction of the books and I am pissed. I know that this is not about fifty shades but just had to rant slightly to somebody. Lol.**

**SN #2: Sorry if there are formatting issues with this chapter, I wrote it on my friends computer and the formatting on here is a little funky.**

Chapter 18: Coping Together Pt.2

Alcohol.

One of Gods many wonderful gifts to the world. I probably wouldn't be able to get through the rest of today without it. I really don't know what I did to deserve a day like today, but I am sooooooo over it. The day started off on a good note, because I had the pleasure of waking up next to the one and only, Christian Grey. Then that wonderful start to my day quickly went downhill at my brunch meeting with my lovely ex-boyfriend. It was just so great that I found out that the bastard has been cheating on me again. To make matters worse, he then decided to publicly humiliate me in front of majority of the Mile High costumers. After that whole fiasco, I thought my shitty day would once again be turned around, by the master of the universe himself, . But no, I freaked out before we got to the gala, because I thought he didn't like my dress, and then I freaked out because I was meeting his family. But to top it all off, he called me out for "not being his girlfriend" in front of his mother. He said it so fast that it seemed like he was embarrassed to even be associated with me. To be honest, I am confused. I am confused because on the one hand I know that I need to take time to myself and reevaluate my life, and take time on my own. On the other hand, I want to just give and be with Christian, because I know many parts of me want to. The rational part of me knows that his comment shouldn't effect me because, one... I am actually not his girlfriend, and two... I just got out of a relationship myself. But the irrational part of me is sad... Sad because I was not good enough for the man that was mine for six years of my life, and I'm still clearly not good enough for the man that I want to be mine. So what have I been doing about this internal dilemma of mine?

I. Am. Drinking... A lot

I am drinking because I really needed this night to go a lot better than the way that it has been. I needed him to be my knight in shinning armor, and whisk me off of my feet, and away from the sadness that lingers inside of me. I am so pissed. We were making out in the limo, and everything felt really special and fun. But now its awkward. As the night has progressed, I have been introduced to more of the Grey clan. My introductions with Grace and Mia, have become a distant memory of the past. I have meet his father Carrick Grey, a lawyer, who was loving an affectionate with all of his family members... Accept for me. In all honesty, he wasn't really rude or anything... Its just that he kept looking at me weird. I know he doesn't know me well enough to actually have a problem with me, so the only guess I have is that he is skeptical of me because his son has never brought a woman around family before. I admire his protectiveness over his son, because I would be the same way if I had one. Other than Carrick, I have also meet Mr and Mrs. Trevelyan. They were very nice, they were also very supportive of their daughter. All of the chatter at the table mostly consisted of Elliott making jokes, Mia talking about Paris and his grandparents sharing wonderful memories. Yet, I have barely interacted with Christian at all. He has been rubbing small circles in my back, rubbing my arms affectionately... But I am not having it. His comment make me feel unwanted. So in return... I want champagne.

A waiter comes towards our table after making more rounds throughout the gala and offers me another glass of champagne. I gladly accept his offer and sip on the lovely bubbly liquid that I have been offered. I can feel Christians heated gaze at my accepting of another drink. I see him shift and his chair and lean closer to me. _Uh oh here we go._

"Anastasia, don't you thin that you have had enough to drink?" he whispers sharply into my ear. _What the hell is his problem? It's partially his fault that I am feeling this way any way._

"I would like to think that I am just evening myself ."

"Perhaps a little too much, don't you think?"

"How much I want to drink should be none of your concern, and quite frankly I don't appreciate you judging me either." I reply sharply _take that Grey._

"Ana I am not trying to pick a fight with you, I just don't want you to be sick. I am worried about you." I almost soften up at his attempt to be sweet but I am still mad... And tipsy.

"I am fine Christian... I don't need you to worry about me. I clearly mean nothing to you so I don't know why you keep getting on my back about it." he frustratingly runs his hands over his face and lets out an exasperated breath.

"What the hell are you talking about Ana? When did I ever say something like that? You are jumping to conclusions... Do you want to be mad right now? Because no matter what I say to you, you get upset. I am just trying to make sure that you don't get sick."

Now he wants to care? Why couldn't he just try and be all cute earlier, instead of acting like the thought of me being in a relationship with him is repulsive? My small rant is brought to a stop by the sound of Mias voice.

"Ana, will you help in the auction?"

"Of course," I respond only too willing.

* * *

><p>By the time dessert is served, night has fallen, and I'm feeling pretty good. The champagne has done me very well. I know I am not drunk, but I am pretty tipsy. I see that flinch line of being drunk in the distance, but I am not allowing myself to actually sprint towards it. Mia and Elliott have been great. Elliott is still on a roll with the jokes. We have talked about funny things, Kate, GP construction, and Christian. Mia is still on a rave about Paris, her friends that she met there, and the auction. The MC announces that the lists of auction gifts are going to be passed out soon, and I am confused. I went to some fundraisers in the past with Logan, but nothing as intense as the one that I am at now. A server comes to our table and passes us each a card to review. Opening et manilla envelope is a long list that reads...<p>

* * *

><p>Auction Gifts And Gracious Donors for Coping Together<p>

Signed Baseball Bat from the Mariners – Dr. Emily Mainwaring

Gucci Purse, Wallet & Keyring – Andrea Washington

One Day Voucher for Two at Esclava, Braeburn Center – Elena Lincoln

Landscape and Garden Design – Gia Matteo

Coco De Mer Coffret & Perfume Beauty Selection – Elizabeth Austin

Venetian Mirror – Mr. and Mrs. J. Bailey

Two Cases of Wine of Your Choice from Alban Estates – Alban Estates

2 VIP Tickets for XTY in Concert – Mrs. L. Yesyov

Race Day at Daytona – EMC Britt Inc.

Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austen First Edition – Dr. A. F. M. Lace-Field

Drive an Aston Martin DB7 for a day – Mr. & Mrs. L. W. Nora

Oil Painting Into the Blue by J. Trouton – Kelly Trouton

Gliding Lesson – Seattle Soarers Club

Couples Art Lesson- Paint Paws Art Studio

Weekend Break for Two at the Heathman, Portland – The Heathman

One weekend stay in Aspen, Colorado (Sleeps 6) – Mr. C. Grey

One Week Stay Aboard the SusieCue Yacht (6 berths) Moored in St Lucia – Dr. & Mrs. Larin

One Week at Lake Adriana, MONTANA (sleeps 8) – Mr. & Dr. Grey

* * *

><p>Holy shit. I blink up at Christian.<p>

"You own property in Aspen?" I hiss. The auction is underway, and I have to keep my voice down.

He nods, doesn't seem surprised at my outburst and irritated. He puts his finger to his lips to silence me.

"Do you have property elsewhere?" I whisper.

He nods again and inclines his head to one side in a warning.

The whole room erupts with cheering and applause; one of the prizes has gone for twelve thousand dollars.

"I'll tell you later," Christian says quietly. "I wanted to see what you would like so that we can do something together" he adds rather sulkily.

I rescan the list of offers and realize that the she-devil is on the list of participants. My thoughts automatically cloud at the mere existence of her. I glance around the marquee to see if I can spot her, but I can't see her telltale hair. Surely Christian would have warned me if she was invited tonight. I sit and stew, applauding when necessary, as each lot is sold for astonishing amounts of money.

I continue to look over the list of things, scanning and scanning to see if I find anything that I would even consider doing, even though there is no way that I could possibly afford any of these things.

"I've always wanted to do this." I say to myself

"Do what?" Christian says, while looking over at my pamphlet. _ I didn't even realize that I said that out loud?_

"The painting class... I have always wanted to learn how to paint, I just never had the opportunity to try it."

The bidding moves to the painting class and it reaches twenty thousand dollars. I continue to listen intently as the price of the class continues to go higher and higher. I really wish that I could afford something like that. Based off of the description, the class is going to be lead by an award winning artist that is still to be determined.

"Going once, going twice," the MC calls, and the next thing I hear is an all too familiar voice.

"Twenty-four thousand dollars!"

Every mask at the table, along with mine, turns towards him in shocked amazement; the biggest reaction of all coming from me. I let out a sharp intake of breath and feel my blush creeping over me like a tidal wave.

"Twenty-four thousand dollars, to Christian Grey, going once, going twice . . . Sold!"

Holy shit, did he really just do that? It must be the alcohol. I've had champagne plus four glasses of four different wines. I glance up at Christian who's busy applauding.

He is clapping, along with all of the other members at our table while staring at me; waiting for me to give him some kind of response to his purchase. _Is he fucking crazy? Who spends twenty-four thousand dollars on a painting class? Clearly this man has more money then sense._

Christian leans over to me, a large shy smile plastered across his face. I lean in and kiss his cheek and then move closer to whisper in his ear.

"Are you crazy?"

He looks over at me nervously before saying "I thought you said that you always wanted to go to a painting class? I just wanted to make you happy..." _my subconscious has her arms crossed while scowling at me disapprovingly. She knows I want to chastise him for spending an obscene amount of money on a painting class. Through closely examine his face, I can see that he is at a total loss for how to handle a womans' wrath. _I let out a sigh, and grab his hand in mind underneath the table. I start to rub small circles on his knuckles. Looking at his face I can tell that he is trying to maintain his cool. I haven't said anything to respond to his outrageous purchase other than "Are you crazy?", and I can tell that it is starting to get to him. It's times like this that I realize that he is not always as in control as her tries to be.

I lean my head on his shoulder and whisper "I'm sorry" into his ear.

"I don't know what I did wrong for you to get so mad earlier. I invited you so that I could show you a good time."

"I know, I know, can we just forget about it? I don't want to fight anymore." he nods at me before whispering ok. Our moment is interrupted by Mia saying.

"Ana!" Mia calls. "It's time!"

"Time for what?"

"The First Dance Auction. Come on!" She stands and holds out her hand.

I glance at Christian who is, I think, scowling at Mia, and I don't know whether to laugh or cry, but it's laughter that wins. I succumb to a cathartic bubble of schoolgirl giggles, as we are thwarted once more by the tall, pink powerhouse that is Mia Grey. Christian peers at me, and after a beat, there's a ghost of a smile on his lips. Mia stands up and walks towards me to join me on the other side of the table, before we leave Christian stands up and whispers good luck into my ear.

"Come on, Ana," Mia nags. Taking her outstretched hand, I follow her onto the stage where ten more young women have assembled. Looking back towards our table, I notice Christian and see him briefly look at his phone, before he stands up, and walks away. _Where is he going?_

"Gentlemen, the highlight of the evening!" the MC booms over the babble of voices. "The moment you've all been waiting for! These twelve lovely ladies have all agreed to auction their first dance to the highest bidder!"

Oh no. I blush from head to toe. I hadn't realized what this meant. How humiliating!

"It's for a good cause," Mia hisses at me, sensing my discomfort. "Besides, Christian will win." She rolls her eyes. "I can't imagine him letting anyone outbid him. He hasn't taken his eyes off you all evening."

Yes, focus on the good cause, and Christian is bound to win. Let's face it, he's not short of a dime or two.

_But it means spending more money on you! my subconscious snarls at me._ But I don't want to dance with anyone else—I can't dance with anyone else—and it's not spending money on me, he's donating it to the charity._ Like the twenty-four thousand dollars he's already spent? My subconscious narrows her eyes_. _I don't think that she is every going to let me get away with that one. I still don't know any sane man that would spend twenty-four thousand dollars on a painting class._

Why am I arguing with myself?

"Now, gentlemen, pray gather round, and take a good look at what could be yours for the first dance. Twelve comely and compliant wenches."

Jeez! I feel like I'm in a meat market. I watch, horrified, as at least twenty men make their way to the stage area, moving with easy grace between the tables and pausing to say a few hellos on the way. Once the bidders are assembled, the MC begins.

"Ladies and gentlemen, in the tradition of the masquerade we shall maintain the mystery behind the masks and stick to first names only. First up we have the lovely Jada." _Where is he?_

Jada is giggling like a schoolgirl, too. Maybe I won't be so out of place. She's dressed head to foot in navy taffeta with a matching mask. Two young men step forward expectantly. Lucky Jada.

"Jada speaks fluent Japanese, is a qualified fighter pilot, and an Olympic gymnast . . . hmm." The MC winks. "Gentleman, what am I bid?"

Jada gapes, astounded at the MC; obviously, he's talking complete garbage. She grins shyly back at the two contenders.

"A thousand bucks!" one calls.

Very quickly the bidding escalates to five thousand dollars.

"Going once . . . going twice . . . sold!" the MC declares loudly, "to the gentleman in the mask!" And of course all the men are wearing masks so there are hoots of laughter, applause, and cheering. Jada beams at her purchaser and quickly exits the stage.

"See? This is fun!" whispers Mia. "I hope Christian wins you, though . . . We don't want a brawl," she adds.

"Brawl?" I answer horrified.

"Oh yes. He was very hot-headed when he was younger." She shudders.

Christian brawling? Refined, sophisticated, likes-Tudor-choral-music Christian? I can't see it. The MC distracts me with his next introduction—a young woman in red, with long jet-black hair.

"Gentlemen, may I present the wonderful Mariah. What are we going to do about Mariah? She's an experienced matador, plays the cello to concert standard, and she's a champion pole-vaulter . . . how about that, gentlemen? What am I bid, please, for a dance with the delightful Mariah?" _Oh god, the more women that get sold means that my name is getting closer on the list of ladies to be auctioned. Where the hell is Grey?_

Mariah glares at the MC and someone yells, very loudly, "Three thousand dollars!" It's a masked man with blond hair and beard.

There is one counter-bid, but Mariah sells for four thousand dollars.

"How long ago?" I ask Mia.

She glances at me, nonplussed.

"How long ago was Christian brawling?" I clarify

"Early teens. Drove my parents crazy, coming home with cut lips and black eyes. He was expelled from two schools. He inflicted some serious damage on his opponents."

I gape at her.

"Hasn't he told you?" She sighs. "He got quite a bad rep among my friends. He was really persona non grata for a few years. But it stopped when he was about fifteen or sixteen." She shrugs.

Holy fuck. I really don't know him as well as I would like myself to believe that I do.

"So, what am I bid for the gorgeous Jill?"

"Four thousand dollars," a deep voice calls from the left side. Jill squeals in delight.

I stop paying attention to the auction. So Christian was in that kind of trouble at school, fighting. I wonder why. I look into the crowd, curious as to where the hell he possibly could've gone.

"And now, allow me to introduce the beautiful Ana."

Oh shit, that's me. I glance nervously at Mia, and she shoos me center stage. Fortunately, I don't fall over, but stand embarrassed as hell on display for everyone. I direct my eyes back towards the crowd, nervously looking to find Christian. Much to my surprise, there he stands, front and center, nursing on a glass of champagne. _Oh thank God! For a moment I thought that he wasn't going to show, and that I would be stuck with some random guy here._ When I look at Christian, he's smirking at me. The bastard. He probably knows that I am shitting myself a little bit here.

"Beautiful Ana plays six musical instruments, speaks fluent Mandarin, and is keen on yoga . . . well, gentlemen—" Before he can even finish his sentence Christian interrupts him, glaring at the MC through his mask.

"Ten thousand dollars." I hear one of Mias friend, Lilly, gasp of disbelief behind me.

_Oh fuck._

"Fifteen."

What? We all turn as one to a tall, impeccably dressed man standing to the left of the stage. I blink at Fifty. Shit, what will he make of this? But he's scratching his chin and giving the stranger an ironic smile. It's obvious Christian knows him. The stranger nods politely at Christian.

"Well, gentlemen! We have high rollers in the house this evening." The MC's excitement emanates through his harlequin mask as he turns to beam at Christian. This is a great show, but it's at my expense. I want to wail.

"Twenty," counters Christian quietly.

The babble of the crowd has died. Everyone is staring at me, Christian, and Mr. Mysterious by the stage.

"Twenty-five," the stranger says.

Could this be any more embarrassing?

Christian stares at him impassively, but he's amused. All eyes are on Christian. What's he going to do? My heart is in my mouth. I feel sick.

"One hundred thousand dollars," he says his voice ringing clear and loud through the marquee.

"What the fuck?" Lily hisses audibly behind me, and a general gasp of dismay and amusement ripples through the crowd. The stranger holds his hands up in defeat, laughing, and Christian smirks at him. From the corner of my eye, I can see Mia bouncing up and down with glee. My subconscious is gazing at Christian, utterly gobsmacked.

"One-hundred thousand dollars for the lovely Ana! Going once . . . going twice . . ." The MC stares at the stranger who shakes his head with mock regret and bows chivalrously.

"Sold!" the MC cries out triumphantly.

In a deafening round of applause and cheering, Christian steps forward to take my hand and help me from the stage. He looks at me with with a stern expression. I thought that I should display my appreciation for his extremely kind gesture by giving him a kiss on the cheek. I lean my head towards his, making my intentions clear. He recognizes my intention and pulls away from me, gazing down at me before saying. _What the fuck?_

"Someone you can meet have about thirty minutes until the First Dance Auction finishes. Then we have to be back on the dance floor so that I can enjoy that dance I've paid for."

"A very expensive dance," I mutter disapprovingly.

"Lets just wait for them to call us and get this over with." He says dryly. _What the hell happened to him? Before he was trying to win over my affections, and now he is being all dry and distant._

We start to walk off on the side, towards the lawn. He sits at a small metal table for two. We both sit down and for a while we are both encountering a large amount of awkward silence.

"So... This is one hell of a gala huh?"

"Yes, I suppose that it is."

"okay..." _this is so awkward. _"Where did you go earlier?"

"Earlier when?"

"Right before the auction, I was standing up there looking for you and you were gone."

"Oh, I had to talk to a friend."

"Oh who?"

"No one for you to worry about."

"Well ok... I thought that since we were sort of friends now that, that wouldn't be a big deal to tell me."

"You think that everything wouldn't be a big deal to tell you."

The sound of the Mc's voice rings through the lawn saying "And now, ladies and gentlemen, it's time for the first dance. Mr. and Dr. Grey, are you ready?" Carrick nods in agreement, his arms around Grace.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the First Dance Auction, are you ready?" We all nod in agreement. Mia is with someone I don't recognize. I wonder what happened to Sean?

"Then we shall begin. Take it away, Sam!"

A young man strolls onto the stage amid warm applause, turns to the band behind him and snaps his fingers. The first beat of "Work Song by Hozier" fills the air. **(this song is amazing! Please do take the time to actually listen to it. It will give your more insight for why I picked it ;) )**

Christian gets up from the small metal chair and offers his hand. I put mine in his and we start to move towards the dance floor.

"Are you sure that you still want to do this? You seem a little tense..."

"I already paid for it, and everyone saw the auction so I guess I have to." _Is he possessed? What the hell happened to my caring Christian? He did say that he was fifty shades, my subconscious reminds me. _

Looking around all of the other couples are all taking place al around the dance floor. "You don't have you do anything that you don't want to if you don't feel like it. I especially don't want you to dance with me acting the way that you are."

"Don't be dramatic Anastasia, let's just get the dance over already." I start to pull away from him wanting to break away from his grouchy attitude, when the lyrics of the first verse start to ring through the air.

_Body's workin on empty_

_Is that the kinda way to face the burning heat?_

_I just think about my baby_

_I'm so full of love I could barely eat_

_There's nothing sweeter than my baby_

_I never want once from the cherry tree_

_Cause my baby's sweet as can be_

_She give me toothaches just from kissin me_

I know that I have been drinking... But clearly not enough to want to tolerate this kind of behavior. I need playful and caring fifty back. My favorite version of Christian is carefree Christian. I love to see him with his head thrown back in a fit of laughter. That's what I can do! I can try and make him laugh.

He seems to reluctantly take me into his arms and he starts to move. And boy does he move because this man can dance well. I try to move closer to him. I lean my head towards his and whisper "You are quite sweet yourself ."

_[Chorus:]_

_When, my, time comes around_

_Lay me gently in the cold dark earth_

_No grave can hold my body down_

_I'll crawl home to her_

Christian does nothing but gaze down at me without uttering a single word.

_Boys, when my baby found me_

_I was three days on a drunken sin_

_I woke with her walls around me_

_Nothin in her room but an empty crib_

_And I was burnin up a fever_

_I didn't care much how long I lived_

_But I swear I thought I dreamed her_

_She never asked me once about the wrong I did_

"Christian... I just want you to have a good time with me... I know that I was upset earlier, but you were fine. We were laughing and everything was fine, and then after the dance you were a completely different person."

_[Chorus x2]_

_My babe would never fret none_

_About what my hands and my body done_

_If the Lord don't forgive me_

_I'd still have my baby and my babe would have me_

_When I was kissing on my baby_

_And she put her love down soft and sweet_

_In the low lamp light I was free_

_Heaven and hell were words to me_

"That's what you thought Anastasia... You think that you know me so well and you don't. I am just being myself. You are the one that keeps trying to convince yourself that I am this wonderful person. You don't know me, you know nothing about me, and you continue to try and push this so called 'friendship' that you have invented in your own head. You cannot blame me or try to force me into pitying you for your own mistakes."

My whole body goes stiff. I can't get myself to keep moving among the rest of the people who are gliding across the floor. I needed tonight to be my night of relief. When I saw Christian on my way out of the Mile High, I felt nothing but relief. Now I find myself in the same situation I was before, I want to run. The rational part of my mind knows that I should be snatching myself out of his grasp and getting the hell out of here. But my body can't seem to find the strength to move. I think I am trying to convince myself that he didn't actually say the things that he said. I am trying to convince myself that our countless bickering hans't occurred. I am trying to convince myself that all the bad things that happened today don't actually exist. Worst of all... I am trying to convince myself that the words of this song don't have a sense of truth. I am fighting myself to not believe that in this short amount of time... That I feel this way for Christian... My man of many shades.

_[Chorus 2x]_

_When, my, time comes around_

_Lay me gently in the cold dark earth_

_No grave can hold my body down_

_I'll crawl home to her_


	19. PSA: Please Read

This is not actually chapter 19.

I was actually on my way to bed after posting chapter 18, and I stumbled upon a really rude guest review. Let me start off by saying that I really do appreciate feedback and your reviews. I always look forward to getting an email saying that someone has posted a review about my story. BUT let me also say that I don't tolerate disrespect. I like honesty, I enjoy your reactions to the things I write and how they make you feel. But don't get it twisted and think that it is ok to come online and talk to people whichever way that you see fit, especially if its rude. Countless times I have read stories and authors have stopped publishing because some people don't know how to quit. You see the fine line of being honest and just being a jackass and give the line the finger and do whatever the hell it is that you please.

THAT. IS. NOT. OK

People post on here because they have ideas, and they want to share them with other people who have similar interest to their own. They do it because its something they like to do, and it is something that they find interesting. As a person who is new to this, don't ruin the experience. I have had many of my readers PM me, or get on me about things. In all honesty, I have no problem addressing the things they say because 1. They use their username so I can respond. 2. They make meaningful comments that actually try to help me. And 3. They aren't just made to be rude. I can take criticism but I won't tolerate rudeness.

As far as the story line goes, I know that there is going to be a lot of controversy over the chapter I have just posted, but lets just say it like it is. We all love Christian Grey, that's one of the reasons that we read fifty shades. But let it also just be put out there, that Christian can sometimes be an ass. He is the ass that we all know and love. And I will put it out here now that there will be many times here where Christian acts like an ass. Please also note that from reading my stories past chapters, you know Ana has an attitude. I left the last chapter where I did because I wanted her reaction to his behavior to be a surprise. There is a reason why everything is written the way it is. Ana is a push over a lot of the times, but there are also times that she sticks up for herself.

Also, we all know what assuming can truly mean. Which is making and ass out of you and me. I have already stated that I already have the next couple of chapters planned out so obviously there is something that is going to go down. Ana is not going to be, as you say "Destroyed by two men". Don't assume that you know what I have planned because you don't. Stay intrigued, stay enthusiastic but don't assume that you know what is going on with the story, as if you have written it yourself.

I have a general idea where all three of the stories are going to go, and I am going to say this now that there will be times where both characters may upset you. There are also times where the story is going to get a little dark and such. I hope that you all stick with me and give me the chance to work through the plot the way that I want to. I do take your reviews and everything into consideration when I am writing, but to that rude guest reviewer... Don't think that anything that I write in these next chapters were to please you. I thought of the plot all by myself and not because you sent me some rude review. You aren't going to bully me into getting the kind of chapter that you feel that you deserve. If you are so inclined to make such demands, then write your own story the way that you want to, but this one is mine.

I really needed to get that out there. I really do appreciate all the support that you all give. That being said, please actually use your users so that I can reply and see what you all say. I enjoy interacting with you all, but I won't put up with people who review anonymously so that they can be rude and not receive backlash. I like honest reviews, but honest reviews with good intent. Thank you once again for everything that you all do involving this story, and I plan on posting again later on this week. Also,I will erase this once I post chapter 19.

Stay Golden,

Alysha


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